Need Help Potty Training an Unwilling Almost Three Year Old

Yep, I had the same problem....long story short since you've had lots of posts and good advice....stop and give up for awhile. We too tried everything and absolutely NOTHING motivated her. Dr. said to stop and give it up for a month and then bring it up again because she wasn't ready and nothing you will do will make her ready. So, we stopped. We brought it up again a month or two later and she's now 3 1/2 and totally trained. The pooping came afterwards and we didn't have to do anything at all!!!! She did it all herself, because now SHE was ready. Good Luck!

We went through the enact same thing. After trying EVERYTHING, we decided to just stop talking about it. Everyone kept telling me that every child is potty trained before they hit kindergarden. Finally, about one month before he turned four HE decided he was going to go on th potty. That was it, and he never went in his pants again. We put him in underpants, and he used the potty every time after that. So, don't let it turn into a power game. She will do it when she is ready. Do not make yourself crazy, it will happen.
Good luck!

You really need to put the issue aside for a while. Kids sense tension real easily, and the more tension she senses, the more she will resist. 3 years old is AVERAGE for potty training. It's REALLY not unusual to have a 3 year old in diapers. Put the issue aside for a couple weeks at least and don't say anything about it...just have the potty there. Then in a couple weeks maybe make a big deal of buying underwear and offer the reward for going on the potty. Let it be on her terms. Diapers is all she's known and it's a big step to move beyond. Let her get excited about it and do it on her terms with your gentle encouragement. I know it can be frustrating as you buy the diapers and all, but 3 years old is just an average and each child needs to be ready on their own physically, mentally, and emotionally.

First of all, if she is home with a care provider, ditch the diapers. When she sleeps, fine, but any time she is up and active, only put her in underwear and long pants. The reason I say long pants is because they absorb the mess of an accident so it's not all over your floor, and they feel super yucky and will encourage your daughter to not want to go in her pants. Create a potty schedule and have your daughter make attempts according to a schedule that you think of. For example you can definitely do an attempt upon awakening and before bed, then just scatter the rest in between as you see fit. Keep a clear jar of jelly beans or whatever small treat that you can use as a specific reward for potty attempts. Define an attempt as sitting and trying for a period of time, then reward EVERY attempt. Here is the key to getting her to sit- a valid attempt is one that lasts the duration of a short story. She'll make attempts to get the treat, but to define the length of an attempt is the tricky part, so the time it takes to read a really short board book is reasonable. Have her pick the story or just keep a few in the bathroom ready to go. This will distract her from feeling like this is a struggle to do something she doesn't quite understand. Once she gets lost in the story, her body will relax and nature will take its course. If she has a successful attempt, give her something a little more special in addition to the jellybean.
This is what I did with my daughter and it took some time but worked. She would try to hop on and off the potty just for the treat, so that's when I thought of the story. The first time I read a story, she was looking intently at the book when we began to the hear that little "tinkle-tinkle". It was great and the same thing worked for getting her to poop too. I gotta warn you, I did do a lot of laundry because I just competely ditched the diapers. This works especially well if she has nowhere to go and will be home to be cleaned up when needed. She'll get there and there will be occasional accidents even after complete potty training, but my daughter's last accident was just after she turned 4 and now she is 41/2 without any accidents in months (knock on wood!) Good Luck!

What worked for me was buying my daughter Princess panties. I had her come with me to the store and let her pick them out. She was so excited, I let her wear a pair after they were washed for about an hour and then told her she had to go on the potty before she could wear any of them again like a big girl. She started going on the potty that day, and she wore the pull-ups for about a week after that without any accidents and then started wearing the panties. She only had 2 accidents in the weeks to follow and that was because she was playing outside and thought if she came in to potty she wouldn't be able to go back out.

You can get rid of the pullups without being confined to the house/yard - use the Gerber plastic pants over underwear (hard to find in stores, but Amazon has them and they're cheap.) You do have to change immediately if they have an accident, but we had very minimal spillage onto clothes/furniture.

Everyone else's advice is good. This is one of these things you can try to guide, but you can't control it. I was afraid a few months ago that my 3yo was going to be one of those kids who potty trains just in time for kindergarten, but then - he was ready and was fully potty trained within a couple of weeks. (he was about 39 months old at that point.) It wasn't because of lack of encouragement - he was just stubborn.

It is possible she's not ready yet. My son only just potty trained two months ago and turned 4 last weekend. I was starting to be concerned, because we wanted to enroll him in preschool but they wouldn't accept him unless he was potty-trained. Thus, we did finally do a big push, using the techniques from the book "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro" (http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Train-Your-Child-Just/dp/0743.... It was a day-long training session, one-on-one, with a lot of reward and praise (my husband actually did most of the day, as it was more special for my son to get to spend time one-on-one with him!). We continued it into the next day, and then week, basically reinforcing the training and tapering down the treats/prizes and within a week he was doing it all himself and hardly has any accidents. We do still have the occasional accident while sleeping (since we having him in underwear at bedtime too, although some people tend to go with pull-ups at night) although some of the "prizes" he got included new PJs and sheets for his bed, which I think helped him stay dry more.

I would give the book a read and then decide if you think she's ready. I was starting to think my son would never potty-train, but it did work!

Good luck!

Once a child has in her mind that they don't want to go potty they won't. What I would do is make a HUGE deal about buying underwear...take her to the store and have her pick out some favorite underwear,let her wear them...yes accidents are going to happen,and while wearing them remind her not to pee on the Princess or what she is wearing. Reward her with stickers,make a star chart,and be really excited about it. We sing...go pee pee in the potty pee pee in the potty pee pee potty. Some kids are really nervous about it hurting to go on the potty and some kids wait and then one day...BOOM they want to go potty. Good Luck and remember to make it fun and as a game.l Be patient it will happen soon

Hi M., I am sorry your so frustrated but hang in their. I have 3 dtrs and the only way I could do it was buying a toddler size bed for each girl. I started right when my girls turned 3 even though girls are suppose to get it faster?? I made my girls wear underwear, no pull ups or diapers. I made them do this to feel the potty training experience. It took me about 2 weeks with all the girls and massive washings of clothes and beddings, but it eventually pays off in the long run. I am also a daycare provider so bless your daycare providers heart for hanging in their with your dtr. But try that maybe feeling it more will make her want to go on the potty. Just make sure whatever you do at home your provider does at her home. Dont give your dtr mixed signals. By the way, 2 of my girls were twins so I had double the pleasure at one time LOL. Good Luck

Ditch the pull-ups...worst invention ever. They can't tell the difference between those and diapers. Leave her alone, she'll go when she's ready. But if you put her in underwear, a few times of walking around in wet, yucky pants, she might change her mind about the potty.

M.,

My twins were a almost 3 1/2 before they finally potty trained. I had bought them the new underwear and stopped the pull ups, but they did not care and would just pee in their underwear. It was summer, so I just decided to put them in sundresses and no underwear and they could stay out in the yard on the deck and i even put the potty on the deck for them. It took a few days, but they finally were potty trained. It was very quick and easy.

STOP!! STOP!! When they are not ready they are not ready. What we did was stopped all together and just stopped pressureing my son, then like three weeks later we were shopping and my son saw a VERY big toy that he really wanted. So we talked about it and I said, tell you what? When you are going on the potty on your own and no more pullups and in big boy underwear we will go buy you that toy. How does that sound? He got all excited and then he worked real hard to get fully trained. It worked! Maybe two weeks later we were in that store buying his toy. I was so proud of him. Don't push them if they are not ready...I found they have to want to do it.

Been there. What finally worked for her was Computer time. We went to the store and let her pick out a "video game". (It's a early education computer game "Blues School") Then we informed her that the ONLY way she would be allowed to use the computer was to be a big girl and use the potty. The next day, I reminded her of this and put her in underwear. It worked like a charm. It took about 3 days (she had some accidents but nothing majoy) and we have been accident free for 4 months now. (My Daughter will be 4 in july.) Now I know that it won't be as easy for you with your Daughter being with a Child Care provider, but see if there is something there that she really enjoys. Good luck and hope all this (the previous advice as well as my own) helps.

You're received some great suggestions. Here are soem more thoughts for you. Each child is different so only you know what will work and what is not worth trying, etc.

Stop immediately. Put away the potty, pull-ups, etc.

Do not discuss it for 2 weeks.

After that, bring her to buy new underwear (they make characters, colorful ones, ones with flowers, butterflies, etc -so just find something you know she'd like). Buy them wash them, and put them in the drawer letting her know she can wear them when she wants to be a big girl.

Start asking her if she wants to try and reward her for wearing the underwear, sitting on the potty, trying to go (good to start before bathtimes, when she first wakes in the a.m., etc) Whenever possible point out what "big girls" can do that she can't since she is in diapers. (Example, oh I wish you could come with me to the bookstore, but they don't have a diaper changer there so only big girls can go).

Good luck!

My best advice is from personal experience. My daughter was 2 months from her 3rd b-day and I too was freaking out! I asked her pediatrician for his advice, he's also a dad. He said, "Lay off". Do not say one word about it to anyone! First, I stopped saying anything to her, still wasn't working. I made myself not say one word to people on the phone or when she was in the area. She was potty trained in one week, on her own, completely within two weeks. She knew what to do. She had gone on the potty. She knew the entire routine including washing her hands. She was not motivated by a chart or by praise what-so-ever. She is 4 1/2. She still holds it too long sometimes, etc., but the less I say, the better.
Good luck!
L. B.