Need Help! I Haven't Received Any Advice for the Request I Made About My Son.

I would suggest taking him to places where people who get caught stealing go to. Maybe even asking a neighborhood policeman to talk to him about the negative consequences that comes from stealing.

In my experience, most boys go through something like this around 8-13. Sometimes it is just to see what happens, sometimes it is to seek attention. When my son got caught stealing (out of a kids desk at school) I went home with him and we had a long talk about how wrong it is and why. Then later that night, I took his favorite toy and hid it. When he woke up, he looked for that lego ship first thing, I told him "someone must have stolen it" He was so upset. So we had the talk again about why it is wrong, and I told him I had taken it to let him know how it felt to that boy he had taken from. He cried, then wrote the boy a note of apology. He hasnt done anything close to stealing since.
Good Luck, but remember, he isnt bad, he is just learning as he grows. Like they say, we learn from our mistakes.

Hi C.,
Do you attend a church? I would recommend that your son go for counseling maybe with a children’s pastor. My husband is a pastor and I have shared your situation with him. We both feel that outside help is needed. There is most often a reason for this type of behavior. You just have to uncover what it is before you can deal with it. There could be kids putting him up to it or even threatening him for money. You never know. We will be in prayer over this for you and your family.

T.

Oh, C. I'm sorry I try to answer some request and when I see no one has done anything I usually try to at least be one and answer with I don't know or something. We are here for you.
I can say (sadly) I too around I think age 10-12 somewhere in there I stole. I was with my girlfriends that had been steeling candy at a 7-11 store (boy I don't know if they are around anymore) and they took some candy and stuffed it in there socks. I was with them they would have one girl stop at the counter and buy some candy while the other stole some. Well, I too took some candy they said I was chicken if I didn't and so I did. Thank god I didn't get caught I did it a few more times with them and then I stopped hanging out with them. Funny both of the girls that said I was chicken I don't think ever graduated from high school they were sister's and they got into drugs and the wrong people I think both of them got preg too...I'd see them later through the years just said Hi and talked but never hung out with them I knew they were going to get into trouble sooner to later and I wanted no part of that. I had fear in me from father that if I did get preg before I graduated or if I didn't graduate high school my parents would have nothing to do with me. Now I'm not parenting like my parents and I don't know if fear is the way to go on this, ok if it was my child doing this I wouldn't use fear of me not loving my child like my parents did. All I know is what I have read and that is you need to find out why and have a safe zone where he and you can talk (say anything thing) you have nothing that will happen to a person in a negative manner when talking about feelings and being open. Then I guess after you figure out why he's doing this is then to get him to stop. Like another mother pointed out it could be a dare, he could feel he's not getting these things and wants them. If he's steeling things just at home like your things well that's even different then just steeling things from school and friends or stores. At home he maybe doing it to get attention or because he feels these items fill a void in his life, if that's the case then you need to find out what attention he feels he may need (a family night) for the void you need to find out what is missing that is bothering him. Sometimes extra activities can help with this like marshal arts or boy scouts both of these teach respect for other people...I'm not saying you don't I'm say that if you have something re-enforcing what you are teaching him, then in a child's head it becomes more true if everyone is saying it. I hope this helps you in some manner. My prayers will be with you..blessings to you and your family.

Sounds like he is stealing money or things that can be sold for money. Why would a 9 year old need money? Drugs maybe? I can't think of any other reason. Yes he is young but you hear of young kids doing pot and other things every day. I am not trying to sound harsh but in this world you never know. Take him to his doc for a urine test if you are really concerned. I think they can collect the specimen w/out telling him what it is for and then let you know. Also, don't let him know if you are doing this. You don't want to give him an opportunity to be clean for a few days so it won't show up. I would also crack down on him really hard follow his every move if you can. He won't like this but tell him he has lost your trust and if he has nothing to be ashamed of then he won't care if you know where he is at all times. I am not trying to offend you so please don't take it the wrong way. It may be nothing but it could be really serious.

I am just going to throw some things out here. It could be a negative way to get attention just for him, or maybe he has learned this, depending on the source of influence.but searching his backpack everyday must make him feel pretty small.and an outsider of the family. I do know kids go thru this somwhat, why not try some positive re-enforcement on his behavior and stop focusing on the negative. Give him the opportunity to earn weekly cash and a chance to spend and save it. Really look at your son for the great things that he is and take him down that path . Give him more responsiabilty age appropiate and help him build up himself so he can be proud and he will chose to do good over bad for most of the time. Give him consquences for those choices that r not the best for him. Map out a plan for him, go over so that he understand ,put in writing

hi .. I know I may be a little late but something that my mother did with me when I was about the same age( and i still remember it to this day). I stole some balloons from the store. The package was opened and they were on the floor so I thought that it was "ok" but when my mother found out. She took me back to the store and made me apologize to the manager and everyone that I came in contact that was an employee of this store. I dont know if your son is stealing from the stores or not . But this may be helpful even if he is stealing from someone . Take him to their house and make him apologize to the child and the child's family. The embarassment will make him think twice about it. I have NEVER stolen anything else again. I hope that you find this helpful and I am sorry for the late response.
C.

Hi C.,

I'm sorry that you didn't receive any response before. You probably stumped us all with this request. You sound like you have tried a lot and tough love may just take a little longer with your son. What are his friends like? Is there ANY influence that is under your control to fix?

You said you have shown him scripture, but I will be real blunt here, do you have Bible study with him? Do you pray with him? Do you have family worship? Have you prayed about this? Is your husband a believer also? I ask these things because I don't think there is anything that you haven't already tried in your own strength.

I know this is breaking your heart. I hear your desperation and I will pray.

M.

your story made me remember when i was about 10 and my 2 brothers were 12/13. being that close in age and all raise by the same parents it was hard to understand what brought it on but i remember my 12 year old brother just started stealing all kinds of stuff for no reason /just to see if he could the bad thing is he was good at it but he would always show and/or tell someone. My dad travled a good bit and my mom wasn't sure what to do. when my mom was beside her self she waited for my dad to come home and they took my brother and the stuff back to as much as they could people friends neibors etc and spent the day just making him return stolen stuff and talk to the people he had taken from i don't think they said much to him but i do remember when they got home they made him think there was even more stuff to return the next day and sent him to his room. again i don't think they said much to him that night he wanted to talk to them about it. Sometimes there is no reason that we can understand.I also remember my mom would go in his room and take stuff from him wait a day and ask him if he wanted it back and how it felt. Good luck!

sorry no advice on this issue. I do wish yall the best!!

C.,

I have two bits of advice for you. Find out first why your child is stealing. Is it peer pressure, does he feel like he doesn't get everything he wants, is there an example from a relative that doing this is okay, or is it because he sees it on TV and thinks it is cool? I know that when I was a kid (about 11 years old), I got caught stealing because I was new to the area and my first friend liked to steal things. I was caught though and my mom made me write 1000 times 'I will not steal'. This had to be hand written and I wasn't allowed out of my room do to anything else until I was done. I bet if you had a consequence that your son would hate, he would soon stop stealing. Every time that you learn he has stolen something, there has to be a consequence. And not just a talk or a slap on the hand, something he would truly hate. My husband said when he was a kid and was caught doing something bad he had to move a pile of rock from one part of the yard to the other, and when he was done he had to move it back. He soon learned he better straighten up or he would be moving a lot of rock.
I hope this helps and stay strong.
T.

HI.. My husband is Military also.. I have not had this problem but I wanted to say that you are not alone. My friends have had this problem in the past. They explained that actions like this can reflect their father. They did this: He may be wanting more of your attention. Spend a bit more time with him because he may be doing this for attention. Also see if your brother in law can show him where they take bad people one day. I wish you luck.

I understand how you feel because I been there it is hard. One method I did with him is I check all of things and also place camera in the house so when it is time to lie he would see himself.Then after all of that I would let him put his hand out and I would woop him in the palm of his hand letting him now not to touch.There is a old time method my mama did when we was young is kneel down with your arm stretch wide until you understand.I did that with my kids and when the hand fell down they would get woop on the butt.You have to take charge C. do not be scared to deal with your kids. This system is just stressful but do like god said do not save the rod and spoil the child. "Use the rod and save the child" they will thank you later like my daughter is doing now.Trust me talking do not work anymore because I have tried all that until now and he is 16yrs old.He is still giving me problems till I am always in court with him.Please take charge do not let him get his way that is why he is doing it.He is very young he can turn around.My problem was I was a single mom working to jobs which includes 16hrs a day so the surpervision was not there I even let my cop friend speak to him that didn't work.So much people talk with him even the judge all it did was went through one ear and come out the other.But the problem is HRS which back these kids up in they're behavior but they try to put it on the parents.