Need Help Getting My 4 Month Old to Consolidate His Naps!

Updated on May 09, 2008
D.B. asks from San Diego, CA
4 answers

Hey all,
I need some suggestions for trying to get my 4 month old son to consolidate his naps...I was hoping he would "grow out" of this, but for the last 2 months or so, he will only sleep for 1/2- 45 minutes naps....he wakes up grumpy and will only stay awake for an hour or so at a time and then needs/wants to go to sleep again...I have tried keeping him awake longer, I have tried going in right before he is about to wake up and patting his bottom and shushing him back to sleep before he really wakes up, I have tried extra feeding, I have tried having him sleep in the swing, or having him fall asleep in the car and then moving him to the crib - it doesn't matter, where ever he falls asleep he will only stay asleep for 40 minutes or so- I wouldn't mind is so much except that he is so cranky when he wakes up, I know he isn't sleeping long enough! Any suggestions are appreciated :) PS- I use white noise in the room for him and it is dark/dim etc....he also has a lovey that he sleeps with....

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L.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I agree with SH. Schedules are great and children thrive on them. I have 2 kids one is 28 months and one is 14 months.They have both been sleeping through the night since about 4 1/2 months (12 hrs a night) and taking two naps a day-1 in the am 1 hr and one in the pm 2 hrs-same time each day. Now my 28 month ols is only napping 1xday in the pm, but still for 2 hrs and still sleeps 11-12hrs a night. Like SH said this schedule works great for us and may not be great for other that do not like to follow schedules, but I can tell you I never struggle with my kids for bed or naps and sometimes my older one will tell me she wants to go night night even before it is time. There is a great book and it works for all ages not just babies and it works- 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks by Judy Giordano. I read this after my first was born and we already had a schedule, but it was funny it was exactly what I did with her just on my own because I wanted a schedule. So know it works and can be done-just have patience. It is not a long book and can be read in a night or two.GOOD LUCK! L.:)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

*I'm adding more: regarding "white noise"... perhaps he does not like the white noise? Or perhaps he needs another kind of white noise? My son only likes to have the fan on, real low.. so it is barely audible. Try with, or without white noise. Perhaps this irritates his slumber, too?

Try having him nap in the SAME place every time. Make it a routine. Babies/children thrive on "knowing" what will come next, hence, having a routine is very helpful, and can possibly reduce the erratic sleep pattern he has. It takes time for a baby to get used to a routine... thus, having him sleep in different places each time may just add to confusion for him. Repetition is important... ie: consistency.

Yes, lack of sleep makes babies and children very fussy. You already know, but napping is very important for babies, developmentally. It sometimes helps to put them down for nap BEFORE they actually fall asleep already. It can give them the opportunity to learn to self-soothe etc. Sometimes, a "transition object" can help... in my son's case, he has a stuffed cow that he loves to cuddle and sleep with and a pacifier. He has done this since about 6 months old. By this age, we had gotten familiar with him and he actually gravitated toward this cow by himself and we noticed it helped him to sleep.

For me, as the parent, I put my son down at specific times... He wakes in the morning about 6:30, then at about 9:00-9:30 in the morning, and in the afternoon at about 2:00-2:30, this is when he naps, and at about 8:00p.m. is when he goes to bed at night. That is his sleeping schedule....and he will nap for about 2 hours each, and still goes to bed at night and sleeps well. He is never fussy this way and rarely over-tired. It works for us. I have done this since he was a baby... he is now 19 months old, and he is very used to this routine... and there is no struggle to get him to nap. At those times I put him in the crib, and even if he is still awake, he will fall asleep on his own, and he gets tired at these times. Yes, they do have sleepy signals... but, sometimes a baby/child will "force" themselves awake and it's not always ideal to wait until "they" tell us when they are tired. Children/babies take to "schedules" and for me, doing it this way for my son is the best thing... for me and him. He knows when it is "nap" time and will even take my hand and pick up his favorite stuffed cow that he sleeps with, and will actually take me downstairs to his room, when it is "time" for his nap. He has come to intrinsically "know" when his nap time is... and he naps. But again, this is the routine I have done with him since he was a baby. And I schedule myself accordingly. He is not one to just nap anywhere.. .he will only nap in his crib. So I adjust my schedule and stay at home when it is his nap time. The consistency is important. If you notice, there is about 3 hours "wake" time between his naps and going to bed at night. This is the time span in between naps in which I notice he will get "tired" again after playing and daily activities.
At night, he goes to bed at 8:00. And again, since this is his routine, he doesn't fuss about it when it is time.

On the other hand, with my firstborn, my daughter... it was quite the opposite and as a first time Mom then, I didn't really have a specific nap "schedule" and would just put her down when she "seemed" tired... this lead to erratic sleeping times and it was hard on her and me... she'd often be fussy and overtired or didn't nap/sleep well. My daughter was/is also noise sensitive and was a light sleeper as well....I couldn't even flush the toilet when she was napping or she would wake up, and I would turn off all the phones etc. Bear in mind that if a baby/child is "over-tired"... they actually do NOT sleep as well and may even be more "hyper." I learned the hard way with my firstborn... now with my 2nd child, I do things much differently with my son. My son has a nap/sleep schedule.... and it makes it easier on me too because then I can actually schedule myself and my own routines/activities for the day, since I know when and how long he naps. It's more sane that way and practical. And, he's not a fussy overtired child, which is the best part too. It's really best not to "wait" until they are WAY too tired, to put them down for a nap. They are too young to be "telling" us, that they need to nap.

I know each child is different with different personalities and temperaments... but I've found, that a CONSISTENT routine and specific "nap/sleep" times definitely helps. Start now since he is young, and as he gets older he will be used to it. That has been my experience at least.

As a side note: there is a homeopathic children's sleep soother called "Calms Forte." There are no contraindications and it's all natural. For traveling and for times when a child has difficulty sleeping or upsets, this can help. BUT, I do not know at what age or at how young this can be given to a baby. Because it is homeopathic, it will either work or there will be no difference. You might want to research this as well. Just Google it and type in "calms forte". Although I wouldn't rely on this... having a sleep routine inducted and consistency is the best.

Perhaps he is going through a growth spurt as well... at these times the are actually hungrier and may need to feed more. Babies go through so many growth & development changes as well... this can really throw off their sleeping ability. Or perhaps he has gas?

Good luck and I hope this helps.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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C.T.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D.! My son was the exact same way. Once we started solid foods he started sleeping longer stretches at nap time on his own. I don't know if that happens for many babies, but nothing we tried really helped. He just extended them on his own once we started rice cereal & veggies. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also agree with the previous posters, routine and redundancy is the key. My 8mo. old knows that as soon as I turn on the CD player and give her the pacifier, it's time for a nap or bedtime. When she waked up after only about 30 minutes then I will usually give her the pacifier again and walk out of the room, without any "confrontation", meaning don't engage him when he wakes up, just take care of the crying and walk away. There have been a few times when she woke up kind of cranky and after a short nap, and when I gave her the pacifier she started screaming even louder than when she woke up, but in those cases I just pick her up until she's calm and then put her back down. And yes, this can be a hard thing as most babies, including her, don't like to be put back down, but after a few times, he'll get the point.

I guess if you're not having any luck, then you could get a book like the Baby Whisperer Solves Your Problems (much better than the original book), but I'd just try to pick him up first when he wakes up, calm him down (hold him horizontally so he doesn't think he's getting up) and once he's calm again, place him back in the crib and say firmly "It's time for a nap, I love you" or "I'll be up in a little while" etc...and walk out. It seems to work for me! But whatever you decide to do, do it EVERY TIME. Don't try the swing one day and the car another, he craves the routine. He just wants to know where he's going to sleep and where he's waking up (another reason why he probably won't "transfer" well from one place to another...it's scary to wake up in a different place than where you fell asleep).

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