Need Dating Advice! - Bath,NY

I think what you did was great! I can't imagine that the rules have changed that much. And I have always found that guys tend to like to do the asking out. That being said, go with the flow. Continue to flirt. But, if a moment arises where the time is right I would just go for it and ask him out for a cup of coffee or something. Good luck!

it may have been too subtle! you never know until you try, so just be direct but not too aggressive. ask him if he would like to go have a drink or coffee sometime, if you had an email address for him, it would save the possible anxiety of being turned down in person, but, you have to ask, because you never know until you try and some guys are clueless about someone liking them!

Don't start out by asking him out on a "date" just yet. You may scare him off. If you have any breaks at school how about asking if he wants to join you for a cup of coffee or a soda? Then maybe you can talk about something other than school or the kids. Get to know each other a little better first. And at the same time you will be letting him know you are interested by saying something like, "Hey, you like bowling (or whatever), how about we get together and take the kids bowling some day?". Then let him take the "lead". After you have done this a couple times if he doesn't take the lead and ask you out, you know he isn't interested. On the other hand, he may be just as interested in you as you are in him, but is afraid of getting turned down. Just like you are.

Hi F.,

I've been married for 17 years so my advice may not be the best.

If he's involved with the school, maybe after a school event or a PTA meeting you could casually ask "would you like to get a cup of coffe?" Or if the kids are with you, you could ask "The kids and I are going to get some ice cream would you and your son, like to join us". Sure you'd have the kids around, but it would be a great opportunity to see how they relate to him.

Good luck

There might be some rules at the school about not getting involved with the parents....so go back to the bike store, start a friendly conversation about anything...then ask him if he's spoken for or single...he might ask why, he might even say he has a girlfriend or maybe he'll tell you he is single or still going through a divorce..what ever his story is, you'll know if you still want to get together with him or not..
Then say, "I couldn't figure out if you had a women in your life or not...and I was just wondering if you were legally free and not spoken for, would like to meet for coffee or have lunch with me sometime. ((((don't use the word "Date".)))))

Suggestion: don't date anyone who's married or hasn't been legally divorced for at least a year....It's nothing but heartache and trouble. You deserve someone who has their act together. Someone who's mind isn't else where when you are trying to spend quality time with them.. These people think they can give you the moon but they are just way to screwed up to do so...

Join different local activities that you will enjoy doing...it's the best way to meet someone with the same interests..

......and learn not to take rejections personal. Most of the time rejections have nothing to do with us although we do feel them that way...it's just a feeling that will pass..it's not the end of the world. Everyone's situation is different....Some people are shy, others can be nervous, lack of money, not ready to date, lack of time, health problems, stress, not free to date, or just don't want to date, etc...

*breathe*

You have been apart from your ex for about a year or less if I am reading this right so my first peice of advice is to make sure you are over a lot of your issues with your ex and that you are comfortable with who you are AS AN INDIVIDUAL before looking to "couple-up" with someone too quickly. Sometimes we move a little to quicky from one relationship to another because we want to recapture some of the good stuff we had in the former relationship. I think it's so important to make sure you re-discover your identity as an individual first and be comfortable in your own skin first because then it makes it easier for you to make better choices in whomever you do eventually end up dating or getting into a relationship with.

The man that you described has met you in the kid's school last year when you were married and now he has seen you in the bike shop recently and you are separated. Not sure he knows that you are separated. If not, that could account for why he hasn't called you. I am also unsure what kind of body language you have sent him. Sometimes, a man is a little slow. Other times (no offense) but they are simply not interested.

I wouldn't put myself out in order to run into him again, but if and when you do see him again, just be friendly and mention to him that he must not have gotten any "cheap bikes" in since you didn't hear from him. Gauge his reaction. If you can maintain some light and easy conversation with him, then you can "joke around" and say to him that since he hasn't found you an affordable bike for your kids, then at least he can join you for coffee sometimes. If he takes you up on it, great. If not, then it may be time to just let this one go.

Good luck.

How about taking a really direct approach? Keep in mind that I have been with same man for 8 years and it's been a while since I've dated. But looking back I wish I was more gutsy with men. I think guys like women who are unabashedly confident and bold. As a mom of three, I think you can get away with being really straight to point without seeming intimidating. You can blame it on your acquired parenting skills. For example, you can start off with talking about your children -- think of a funny experience you had with them and talk about that. That breaks the ice a little. Then you can say, "You know, since I am a mom of three, and I've learned from experience that if I want to get something to happen I really need to be direct with my kids! If I am not straight to the point, they won't understand me. So straight to the point is the only way I know how to be these days (giggle). So (don't hesitate too much, don't mumble!).....this is a little awkward but I'll just be, well, direct about it. I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date with me (smile!). Be flirty about it. It won't hurt to wear something a little bit sexy that day too! Good luck! :)

don't go into his bike shop. it's weird and you may put him in an awkward situation at his work place.
for being more gutsy depends on a few things: does he seem interested in you? is he a single dad (volunteering at your child's school). are your kids friends? etc etc.
i haven't been in the dating world for about 8 years now, but i never asked a guy on a date. i gave hints that i was interested but never asked a guy on a date.
my advice would be: start a conversation with him at the school, or as you guys are wrapping up the volunteering work. if you exit the building together, if it is lunchtime ask him if he would join you etc. give hints.
now the last part, if your children are friends or know each other, don't do it.

Have a "casual" conversation in which you are asking him what he likes to do, as in what he likes to do for fun. Keep asking questions around this until you find a good lead in to say how much you enjoy XXX and haven't been able to do so in a while or it'd be fun to go with him (together) some time if he'd like, etc. Something where he can take a more direct cue. Then he will probably be a bit akward or uncomfortable or excited and need a sec to mull it over so try not to stare at him expectantly. At that point he may say something like "yeah, yeah, weoucl do that some time" or "yeah maybe you could join my girlfriend/boyfriend and I" (are you sure he's single and hetero?). Etc but it will be easier for him to define how he wants to respond to your interest, either by asking you out 1:1 or letting you down easy by leaving it open and never following through or explaining OR he'll be thinking it over and is open to it by inviting you to join a group thing. If whatever it is is something he hasn't done in a while either, then you can suggest you both figure out a time to do it (rock climbing, movies, etc. doesn't matter) and be kind to yourselves- that type response. By the way, why don't you pick up a copy of a book called "The Rules" about relationships and dating... it's very helpful. Best wishes, N.

I'm in your same potision, having split from my kid's father I've been hesitant to delve back into dating since I have no idea what to expect, I've had self-confidence issues, and that I just don't know what the rules of dating even are Nymore...but I can tell you this: F. in yourself and aa smile are all you need to win anyone you want. If you feel the urge to approach him, do it. The worst that can happen is he says no thanks, but then you know where it stands and you won't have to beat yourself up over not doing it.
Good luck!