Need Answers to My 6 Yr Son Behavior in School

More than likely, it is just a phase. My brother is a cop and at that age would dress in my mom's high heels and jewelry. He's all tough guy now.

I would say just let him be. Don't make a big deal out of it either way except for the steeling. He should know that taking anything that is not his will not be tolerated. I would get hims some Mardi Gras beads to play with. They are inexpensive at party city and it will give him his own bling. If you look at all the rappers on TV, they all love their bling. :-P

Don't panic about sexuality... They have no intention at 6 towards either.

Doesn't matter whether he's taking Tonka trucks or Polly Pockets, either way it's stealing and needs to be addressed.

That alone is the only thing in your post that I feel is cause for concern.

Enjoy your little fella!

:)

Are you asking if his interests are a phase or are you asking about him taking things? I suggest that his interests are probably not a phase tho they will change over time. He likes "girly" stuff at the moment. He may learn to enjoy sports later.

If you're concerned that his interests are an indication of his sexual orientation I say that they may be but also they're just as likely to not be. Six is too early to have a sexual orientation. Six is still an age without sexual instincts. Six is when kids explore everything but not sex.

When you say he takes girls stuff from class are you describing behavior that is actually stealing. Does he take the stuff without permission? I would be more concerned about stealing than his interests if he's taking stuff without permission. He needs a loving immediate consequence that includes returning the item to it's owner.

Is it possible he's taking girl's stuff because he doesn't have the things he's interested in. Sometimes parents are so concerned about a boy being gay that they only give him boy's stuff. If he doesn't have girly stuff for himself, I urge you to give him toys that are of interest to him.

If he's going to be gay there is nothing you can do to prevent that. We are born with our sexual orientation. The healthiest thing you can do is to allow him to have his interests and wait and see. Be assured that it's most likely that he's a normal boy with an artistic bent. Manly men also enjoy music and bright lights.

I've known several boys who enjoyed sports and bright lights too. Bright lights are attractive to most of us. As far as jewelry is concerned, I've also known young boys to enjoy dress up including wearing a skirt and jewelry. They're exploring the world which does include girls and "girly" things.

Enjoy your son as he is. Continue to provide him with a variety of things including the "girly" toys in which he's interested. If he has his own he's less likely to borrow (steal) others'. His interests will expand with time.

I'm always glad to see boys interested in so called girls toys and girls in so called boys toys. This produces a well rounded and interesting adult who fits into a variety of milieus (places). You mentioned music. Think of some of the singers who are boys and men. They aren't gay.

Your son is OK. He needs you to be interested in and share his interests. Look at how pretty the things he likes are and stop equating them with sexual orientation, if that is what you're doing. Teach him boundaries surrounding ownership and insist that he ask to borrow stuff from other kids. Provide him with his own stuff so that he can share with them as well.

Hi E.,

Hey, you've got to embrace who your child is. Whatever his quirks are, he's just a little boy who still needs the support and love of his parents. It may be a phase or this may be who he is. As long as he's healthy and not hurting anyone, why worry? Now, if he's taking the jewelry without permission, you need to explain to him why that's not o.k.

My brother (the 27 year old doctor, married to the most beautiful woman and a new daddy) and I used to play dress up. Oh, he loved it!! make up, high heels, wigs - he loved it all! Now, he's a gorgeous man with all masculine traits (and a sister who teases him often about the good old days ;)

I also have a cousin who was as girly-girl as could be when she was little, as she grew older that changed and she became more and more comfortable with who she REALLY was and came out of the closet. She and her wife have been married for 14 years.

I wouldn't worry. Just give him all you love.
good luck!
W.

Is he taking girl's jewelry cuz he cant ask for it and recieve it? Get him lots of "jewelry" of his own. help him find something a little more "boyish" like puka shell neclace and rope type bracelets. dont let it be a forbidden thing. Find compromises. Let him help pick out some clothes that are colorful, like tie dye with many colors. Music will benefit his mine video games will not so embrace it! Let him be who he is dont make him feel bad for it or it will cause sever problems Who knows what he will be like when he is older?

Could be a phase. Even if he ends up being a fashion designer, stylist, singer, actor, or interior or lighting designer, it's no guarantee he'll be gay. Lots of men who love jewelry are straight. Wait and see, and whatever you do, don't make him feel bad (I know you're not).
I worked with the sweetest man in the fashion district in NY-he was THE BEST with fabric, etc, very sensitive and into art. Picked all the best jewelry for the ladies in the men's lives around him-even their moms.
Back in redneck USA, he used to get dragged hunting by his Nascar dad and beaten for being a sissy. Needless to say, he fled and he's living a splendid life with people who love him and he never talks to those hideous creatures back home anymore.
Your son could love trucks and smashing stuff by next week, who knows.
He is who he is-enjoy it! If it's any consolation, my 3 year old son is dressing up in my daughter's fairy dress a lot.

Please don't worry, my grandson is just the same, he loves & wants everything pink, even playing his Mario games he must be the female Amy Rose lol!! Stop worrying because your the only one that will suffer, he's doing normal & natural things, this does not mean he'll be gay if that's what your worried about, those feelings don't develop for a few years yet.
If its any help my daughter is gay & she was doing what other little girls do at that age. Its us, society that categorize how kids should or shouldn't be & act so please don't worry,
take care, A. x

GET WORSE? I don't understand what is bad about this to begin with? I am certain many rich, famous, and HAPPY fashion designers and entertainers started out the same way.

My ex-boyfriend is a professional body builder who doesn't like sports. My aircraft-inspector husband (also hates sports and) LOVES music and sings constantly, I myself, have a love of bright Christmas lights. My brother, the computer programmer, loved jewelry and his cabbage patch doll when we were that age (and much older).

These "normal" adults aside, it is worth noting that until the turn of the century, colors meant nothing, and when they were first used to start pigeon holing individuals, pink and red were the BOYS' colors. The colors of blood, bravery, fire and courage. That didn't swap until after World War II.

It seems like either society wants to tell you who your son is, and you are okay with that. Or perhaps you have his life and personality planned out already?

So ask yourself A) Did you have your child just so the rest of the world could judge him? B) Did you have him merely to be a reflection of yourself, like a narcissistic clone? or C) Is the gift of life and the joy of parenthood to watch our children blossom into a perfect, beautiful individuals with something exemplary and uniquely theirs to share with the world?

One thing is constant either way, your son's self image will hinge on your acceptance, support and love of whomever he is and becomes in his life. What is his happiness worth to you?

My son (7) is similar in that he likes pink and purple and jewelry, but he is very much a "boy". He LOVED pink when he was around 2, but soon, he figured out that boys don't like pink. So, he doesn't talk about pink or purple anywhere but at home. Now, he has a little sister and so if he has something that is pink or purple, he just tells people it is his sister's (he has purple goggles). Also, I buy him necklaces and bracelets (cool, boy ones. He has a shark's tooth necklace and some "cool" bracelets). So, maybe you can address it with things like that. My son loves music too and he LOVES Dancing with the Stars. But, he also plays baseball and football outside with the other boys.

I think you need to just balance it all. But, you do need to address the "stealing".

Good luck!
L.

www.myprincessboy.com/index.asp

I saw this woman on the morning and I was so impressed with how she loved and encouraged her son. Then she wrote a book for others and share her experience and her sons.

Let him be who he wants to be and don't worry about it. Your support of him right now at this age in the things he likes/dislikes will shape his views every day of his life from now on. If he's gay, he'll appreciate that you didn't try to "hide" his preferences and he'll be a more confident adult. If he's not gay, he'll still have confidence that his mother ALWAYS obliged his tastes and preferences and he'll look back on it with laughter and not embarrassment.

The stealing thing is definitely something to address with him, though.

Good Luck!

Wendy's said everything I would say. Love your little boy for who he is. The more you try to fight or reject a child's enthusiasms, the more some kids will fight to hang on to them, even when they are a phase. And if he's showing an early tendency toward being gay, he'll need your love and support even more. Your choice of the word "worse" is mild compared to some of the harsh criticism he might encounter.

I think you have gotten some pretty good advice already. I was wondering about what influences he has in his life. Is his father in the picture? Does he have siblings - brothers or sisters? Does he have male playmates? Are these your interests? Is he trying to model after you? If he is constantly surrounded by females, then this may have an affect on his interests. I understand your concern, but this does not necessarily mean he will be gay. If these are his genuine interests, then I am not sure there is anything you can do about it, except to make him feel bad. You definitely need to address the stealing, possibly by allowing him to have some of these things of his own. I would also try to find him some opportunities to hang out with guys in a low key situation.

You must address the stealing. It is wrong.

If I were you, I would get him into some art lessons or learn to play piano....

What Theresa N said.
You need to address the stealing issue.