Need Alittle Insight on an 8 Year

Be prepared he may be one to go into puberity a little early...My 8 year old is the same way he is 8 1/2 and for the past 6 months we have been dealing with somewhat of the same issues...he seems to be gettng better but it mostly goes up and down...I really think it just has alot to do with their age, maybe try backing off a little its not easy I know but maybe giving him a little more room and freedom might help

Part of it is the age. My son started going through cycles like that around that age too. He's testing to see how far he can go and what he can get away with. I think it is pretty normal. He is trying to come to terms with becoming a young man vs. being a "little kid". My son is almost 12 now, and I still get some of this, but it is much better. He is starting to realize that a lot more responsibility comes along with more privileges.

Does your son have any regular chores around the house? If not, it's time. Our son's first was taking out the kitchen trash... not just once a week or something... but EVERY TIME it gets full and needs to be taken out.. it is HIS job to do it. Doesn't matter if it is dark outside either... we have flood lights. Just like our daughter's (younger) is taking the recycle items out to the garage, including the newspaper from the newspaper/magazine rack.

When they actually have concrete expectations placed on them, they tend to come through. And they feel a sense of pride, accomplishment and contribution to the family, that helps with some of those attitude issues.

Oh, and CALL him on it! Tell him that he can leave that attitude in his bedroom, because you're his mother and he will treat you respectfully like a son SHOULD treat his mother. That you will not accept less. Being straightforward about it with my son goes a long way... long winded conversations about why he is acting that way and what to do to fix it go NOWHERE.

try the book "Have a New Kid By Friday."

Its a good non-punitive book, on how to handle kids. Despite the title.. .it is a thoughtful approach.
I learned some good ideas from it.

Nagging him won't help.

You can find it online like at Amazon or E-bay or at book stores.

good luck,
Susan

I would try time out again, One minute for every year old so 8 and tell him the time doesnt start until he is sitting in the desiginated spot quietly. Tell him what he did wrong and explain that you will not tolerate his behavior anymore. I know you said it doesnt work but you might want to give it a try again.

I remember going through a similar situation with one of my boys. It turned out that he felt like I was always telling him no don't do this, stop doing that. He thought that I felt like he was always bad. I did not feel this way but I was not giving him enough praise so he was seeking attention the only way he knew how to get it. Try telling him that you appreciate the way he is good for others and that you would appreciate it if he would do that at home also. When he does good things at home make sure you acknowledge it. Don't go overboard and say it for every little thing but do tell him at least once a day that you appreciate how he is behaving good. Good Luck! and God Bless!

I know to a degree what you are experiencing, as I have dealt with somewhat the same situation. (Just to let you know, both of my children are now grown.) It was sort of like a Dr. Jekyl - Mr. Hyde effect and at times now I sort of see the same thing again with my two children. It's like they think they have to be perfect or "extra" somehow in the eyes of other people and then when they are around family, we get the REAL deal. I think it stems from some sort of conflict with inner feelings about themselves maybe in association with others and how they are (maybe even being degraded or put down or maybe even being bullied; of which most boys detest admitting and don't want to be the "tattle tale"). Since my son has gotten older, he has told me some things I had no idea about and for that matter my daughter as well. She told me about how other girls commented on her clothes etc.. When they were younger, I spent a lot of time talking with them about how they didn't have to be perfect and that it was okay to make a mistake, or be gotten on to by the teacher. I tried to compliment them and build them up any way I could. I let them know that I support them no matter what and they could ALWAYS come to me about ANYTHING and I would try to keep an open mind. I prayed alone about them and I would pray with them as well. When they acted out, if it wasn't major I would ignore it to a certain degree, thinking maybe they needed to release pent up feelings. I encourage outdoor activity. One day when my son was outside with his ball bat, we took turns pounding on an 'ole rotten tree stump thus getting out some energies as well as helping dispose of the top of the stump as well. lol I would tell them to get out and do some running and get some fresh air. I told my daughter one time to pound on her pillow if she wanted or to scream into it if it would help her with her frustrations. (I never let them think, though, that it was okay to be destructive or harm anyone else.) I have given them corner time (stand in the corner with their nose/face into a corner wall) and if they talked back or was had ugly behavior, I would tell them "extra corner time", and believe me after a while they would get tired of standing. I didn't allow them to squat or sit while in the corner or turn their heads to look around. When they would quiten down and seem more calm I would ask them if they were now ready to behave and if so they could come away from the corner and go on with their activities. I know it is very frustrating and mind boggling and is hard to deal with. I don't know if any of this is helpful, but I grasped at straws trying to find different ways to handle the different situations. My husband due to his job couldn't be home much and I think they resented that and he didn't seem to be as interested and complimentary with them as I was. Between that and the outside world and dealing with all the pressures, it can get to a child and other children can be sooo cruel sometimes. I hope things get better. Hang in there and God bless.