Hey moms! We have 3 kids (4 years, 2 years and 8 months old) and my husband is scheduled for the big "V" on Thursday. This was mutually agreed upon. He's open to another, but sometimes I'm not sure I could handle it. As the day approaches, I'm having more and more second thoughts, though. My husband is very helpful and my family lives here and are very helpful, too. We could make the space for another one if we needed to. Financially we could do it, although that would make travel to his family that much more expensive (I'm not sure driving is an option) as well as doing fun things with our own family. I know that's not all there is to life, but these are some of the things running through my head. I guess I'm looking for advice, perspective, any sort of insight from moms who have been there. I know you wouldn't trade your kids for the world, but what sort of additional stress and issues would I be inviting in? How has so many kids affected your relationship with your husband? I know we can always postpone the procedure, but I also want to keep the kids close in age (and I'm no spring chicken), so this is a decision we would want to make relatively soon. Thanks!
Wow! I am really humbled by all of you who took the time to respond. I truly appreciate it! We had a good talk tonight and have decided that there is enough doubt in our minds as to whether we are done having kids to postpone the procedure. Not sure if #4 is a done deal, but my husband is breathing a sigh of relief right now :)
My Mom says that after three, you can do anything. Plus each will have someone to look after. Even numbers are nice. You will always have equal teams. I only have 2 and my ex-husband "forced" the tubal. I regret doing it. I wanted more. If there are doubts, cancel the appt. CB
Hi J., Me and my husband did the Vasectomy and regret ever making that decision. My husband had a daughter from a previous marriage then we got prego with my son who is 8 now. We thought 2 is enough. We recently made an appointment to reverse it but it cost $5,000 dollars to do so. We decided we should wait because it is a big decision that might not work. I want to have more kids and I regret we did the Vasectomy. We talk about fostering children to help those in need but always go back to wanting our own. I hope this helps in your decision. B.
You are still young enough to have another child. If you are in optimal health and think you might want another, then maybe you should consider another means of birth control until you are sure. This sounds like a good time to step back and re-evaluate one more time before making that V cut.
My husband and I have four children - the last is 12 years younger than our former youngest. I was in my 40s at the time, so the stress levels and issues would certainly be different than what yours might be. If your children haven't adversely affected your relationship with your husband so far, then it is doubtful that another child would change that relationship, especially with your youngest still an infant.
I have 4 kids and although mine are spread out 16, 8, 5 and 2 they are exactly what I wanted and yes there is stress but in my eyes no more by having added one more. Since you are having doubts and you say that he is an awsome dad and help is not an issue I would have to say DO NOT have it done.
If you are unsure, then *ask* him to postpone it. It can always be rescheduled. Why not wait? Why not in a year or 2 after you know for sure that your are both done with pregnancy...?
I am a proud Mom of 4 and mine are really spread out 18,17,5,3. Boy/girl and again boy/girl. You will never regret having a fourth but the only regret you may have is stopping when you maybe should have had more. I was urged by a friend who had four to have one more after my third and I told her no way and surprise I had my fourth two years later. She is definately meant to be in our world. Cancel appt and rethink in another 6 months or a year.
Hi J.,
I am blessed to have four daughters and I would not have changed a thing. There were times when I was a little frazzled when they were little and needed so much attention. But now that they are grown it is pure joy. They are wonderful. How does your husband feel about having another? If you can afford to have another, then go a head and have one. I wanted four from the start and I was lucky that my husband had a good salary. I went back to work when they were in high school so I could pay for the college. If your health is good and you have the money then by all means. Best wishes.
I was in the same place as you two years ago before my husband got the big "v". I have 3 kids, 5 and 6, the 5 yr. olds are twins. I went back and forth about not having another child, evening out my family, etc. I think I thought about it more when we finalized the procedure. I was gung ho when we scheduled it and then had doubts when it was actually going to happen. This is normal to have doubts the closer the time comes. If you agreed at the beginning, then I think you are happy with the 3 you have and with the finalization of it all, it is sure to start making you think twice. I am glad that we had it done and don't think about it any more. But, you'll know what is right for you and your husband! I wish you luck with this...
