Need Advice for Unique Situation

It doesn't sound like this is his dream job so much as better than what he is doing so I don't think he is going to take it as hard as you think.

If you are buying out a practice there is more than likely employees in place you would probably want to keep, right?

Yeah what you need is a front of house type manager not just an office manager. Give him the title of CFO and have him do the accounting. :)

The PPer had some great advice.

Yes, buy the practice. No, don't have him manage it.

The two things I might say are, first, "We're partners. I don't want to be your boss." And, "Taking over a practice is risky. I think we as a family really need to diversify our income."

I also randomly want to say, how wonderful it is that you're a vet! I'm such an animal person, I just admire vets as a whole category of people. :)

Well, first and foremost... you will need his income until the practice is making good money. Unless you have the money saved to purchase it outright, you will be taking out a business loan with monthly payments.

I say this because 20 years ago, my parents purchased my uncle's business. My father had worked for him for 15 years prior, but purchased the company upon his retirement. My mother was his secretary and book keeper, but not full time. She continued to work as a per diem teacher (special education itinerant) to keep money coming into the house until they were financially stable as the owners of the company. At that time, she left her job and worked for him (pulling little or no salary). They work well together ONLY because my dad is clearly "the boss" and she's not there full time. They bicker about work all the time, but are pretty good at leaving it at the office... after 35 years of practice.

I would go from the financial standpoint at first. Let him know that you will need to maintain his income while you are establishing yourself. Agree to revisit the situation in one year to see how things are going. In the meantime, hire someone to manage the office and give your husband some defined role in the company.

Good luck! This is such a great opportunity for you and I hope you are able to make it happen!!

You could be bluntly honest.
Or, you could pass it off (at least for awhile) on financial security/safety. I mean... if you BOTH jump into it with both feet, and it doesn't end up working out... how does that play out financially for you? Wouldn't you both be better off with another income stream from a separate job that is NOT tied to the veterinary clinic?

That is what I would think in the beginning, regardless of whether or not he is suited for the job OR whether you want to work with him day in/day out.

I would tell him:

"honey - this job is not what you THINK it is. I don't want to mix marriage and business like this."

That would be the starter conversation. This is YOUR job - but it does affect the marriage. So he should have some say in what happens...because being the owner means more hours, more stress, etc. so with that in mind - tell him that he doesn't have the requisite skills for the position - no veterinary background so talking to the reps would be cumbersome, etc. and since he really doesn't have office management experience, the ramp up time for him would be too much and the business could suffer.

As it stands, most times there is a "take over" like this - the buyer comes in six months to one year so the clients can get to know him/her and the staff stays on as well for continuity for the clients.

Tough decision!! Hope you make the right decision for you and your family!!!

Good luck!

I have a solid marriage of almost 25 yrs.

For the last 6 yrs, hubby and I work together 24/7 to run our successful company.

It is not always easy and YES, we do butt heads on some issues.

I run the financial end of it with Quickbooks, paying payroll taxes, filing the quarterly reports, etc. The last time I sent him the weekly reports he came to me wanting to know why I sent over $13,000 to the IRS in April. I explained... in detail... we have 3 employees.. you me, daughter. Thanks to our lovely system, we pay through the nose for payroll taxes, medicare, social security. I have to send that in monthly and file the reports or be fined. I am a stickler for detail and very picky with my books being 100% spot on at all times. I also manage all the accounts payable and receivables, invoicing and schedule travel.

He is fantastic with numbers, sales, consulting, negotiating, forecasting and I get into it with him if I don't feel comfortable allowing a customer run up a balance to $100,000.... His answer to me.. I've worked with them for 30 yrs, I know them, they have excellent credit.

Granted, no one has ever not paid and we've not had issues but you get the gist of how 2 people can see things differently and both things are equally important. We do make joint decisions regarding running this business as to how much inventory to hold in the warehouse, who to put on cash only due to bad credit, etc.

I do admit that it is a relief when he heads out on the road and is gone for 2-4 nights. While I am still doing my work, I have somewhat of a breather . We both enjoy the breaks. Next week we head to a conference together and it is so weird because at these conferences, we hardly see each other with exception to the dinners, entertaining, and sleeping.

Bottom line, the office you are considering purchasing should already have an in-house office manager. That person will be a major asset to you with managing everything that has to be done with your business, employees, accounting, etc.

From what you say, your hubby does not have the experience and if he were to jump in to that job with no experience, you could very well lose everything. There are a lot of t's to cross and i's to dot with a successful business and you need someone very well qualified to help you.

Good luck.

I am a business owner so I speak from experience. First, you are already showing signs of a successful business owner. You know who is not right for a position. Here's how you let him down easily:

"Honey, this is a big investment. As an entrepreneur, I know I need to take risks and hopefully these calculated risks will be the right ones and ultimately result in a successful business. But, as you know, I am likely to lose money for the first few years. It is imperative that we have a bread winner in the family. We really need the stability that your "regular job" offers. Plus, If I can hire someone who has managed an office before, their experience will help us turn a profit sooner.

My husband is the "Director of Research" at my company. It's an unpaid position, but has really helped my business become a leader in our field because of his scientific expertise. It's unpaid, but... He reaps the benefits of the profits the business makes.

Find him something he is good at, maybe promoting or marketing. Something he can do and keep his day job. I bet he just wants to be part of the "action" and feel like he's contributing. Make him a partner, let him know you are in this together, but you aren't going to hire him for a job that doesn't fit his skill set.

explain to him that you're happy with your marriage and don't want to mess it up by working together - let me tell you, a boss/employee relationship would NOT be a good dynamic for a married couple... a co-owner situation is bad enough. my parents, married for 39 years, are beginning the divorce process after co-owning a business for the past few years - DON'T DO IT :(

You tell him that unless and until your practice is established and making a reasonable profit it would be foolish to put all of your eggs in one basket. Owning your own business is great, but if you can, especially when you are just starting out, you want your DH to keep his job in order to cover (at least part of) your bills.
After a few years, once everything is moving just great, you can either reconsider or he may have long abandoned the idea.
Good luck.

It sounds like he wants to be partners but you don't need a partner, you need an employee. I would just explain that to him very nicely. I would also joke around with him by saying...
"Honey, I think it is so cute that you want me to be your boss but do you really think you would like reporting to your wife? Would you be upset if I needed to fire you? What if I decide you didn't earn a raise next year...will that upset you? "😃

What Mira said. And maybe add, "I love you but I think it's wise for a married couple NOT to work together, especially in a brand new business that may have financial bumps for a while to come."

I wonder -- you say he currently is a truck driver and has been dreaming of beiing a businessman -- it sounds as if this is as much about his discontent with his current job as it is about his wanting to work with you if you buy this practice. It might be a smart move for him to work now with a headhunter who can help him start to search for a more fulfilliing job regardless of whether you buy this practice. He may be seeing the practice as a way out of a job he dislikes. Does he need to return to college for a degree? Does he need to work some other job to get experience for a better resume? Use this as an opportunity to get him to think about a career and not just a job.

But I totally agree -- from what you describe you and he should not work together. One thing to beware, too: If you buy this practice and he's not the manager, is he going to drop hints about that constantly; press you to let him try; criticize the person you DO hire as manager, etc.? Just something to consider.

For him to quit a job to be your manager would be risky. You have no idea how quickly your practice would take off, even as established one. I would start there. I would not work with my hubby!! Love him but

Don't tell him all of that, it will hurt his feelings. Just say I love you and I don't think we should work together - it would harm our marriage and it's not what I want.

Separately, if he wants help changing careers/having his own business, help him if you can.

It takes a special couple to work together that way . . . but I have personally seen it work very well.

I agree with Krista that it's risky to put all your eggs in one basket, so-to-speak. That's probably the best tack to take with your husband - i.e., that you need to count on a steady income from another source for the time being. There's no reason that you could not bring him on board down the road if it seemed like the right thing to do.

From your previous posts I would also worry that you would be thrown into the "mommy" role with him again. When you engage in professional practice you cannot stop what you're doing to nurture his ego. On the other hand it may be a way to keep your costs down (don't pay him much).

Of course there are also legal questions pertaining to spousal partnerships. What happens if the marriage ends? I wouldn't bring that up at this point though.

As a personal aside, I hope you will consider holistic veterinary care. There are more and more pet owners looking for integrative health care for their pets. My holistic vet is great but he's pretty much the only game in town right now. I'd love to have other options.

I wish you the best of luck!

I would tell him that you think it is best for the company to hire someone with vet office experience and best for your relationship if you both have your own jobs. I would string my husband by his toenails if we had to work together. He's very good at project management but when he tries to project manage ME, I get testy.

I also like Mommmyofone's response that your household needs to diversify and both of you working at the practice means that if ANYTHING happens to the practice, you are sunk.

If he really wants to get another job, support that. Just...somewhere else. Perhaps he could find one with appropriate health benefits so that you don't need to worry.

I agree with you. A manager should have some experience & I couldn't work with my husband AND see him at home. 24/7 is hard.

I would tell him "wow, wouldn't that be nice to work together but unfortunately we can't. I need people in the office that have previous vet experience only. This is the only way the practice will work & we won't
lose our money/investment in this venture. We can't lose our shirts.".

Then encourage him to look for work as a manager (office mgr or sales
manager) at a local truck dealership (the big rig kind).

So you will be firm leaving no room for doubt BUT you do it so nicely that it looks like you would want him to work with you but there is no way possible that it can be. Good luck!!!

Edit: maybe he can help you at home doing mailers, coming up with a
newsletters, help you draw a diagram for office furniture placement (desks etc). Something to keep him "involved" but at bay!!!!

I like the logic Mira presented.

I do know a few vets who work a practice that involves their husbands. Perhaps you have some colleagues who do the same...

I would suggest contacting them personally, explaining the situation & asking for their feedback. Maybe it works because the husbands/wives were already animal people (one of my examples that comes to mind, she is the vet, he is involved in showing/breeding/training/etc.).

Ask if they would share their experience, what is good, what is not, why they did it, what they would change, if they'd do it again, what their personal thoughts are (if they know your husband) on how it can be done to be successful.

Can it be done? Yes... anyone who passionately goes after what they believe in can make it work, with some adjustment period.

Should it be done? Now you need to factor in things such as Mira pointed out.

I would start out by talking to your husband... express your excitement & hesitations about what he is proposing... Don't shoot him down right away, listen to what he has to say in return... ask what his true motivations are... and then take it from there.

Best of luck, & I am so excited at your opportunity! Whether you go for it or not, to have the chance to consider it is wonderful. T.

Just explain to him that you need an office manager with experience in a vet clinic. That you need them to be able to answer basic health questions over the phone, and if you get a tech, who can also help with injections and vaccines and all that, taking some of the load off you. If just makes good business sense to higher a vet tech for the job so they could do more then the books. JMO. Plus, when you are first starting out things may be slow and your family may need his income to be separate from the practice, in the beginning most of what you make may have to be put back into the business to help build up a client base. His feelings may be hurt at first, but hopefully he will get over it. If it gets to a point where you are making enough to easily keep your family comfortable then maybe he could quit his job and start helping out and learn from the other staff.

You could use the "If I was to do this, at first to be safest I would keep people in place who have that experience already, and then down the line we could see how it goes...."

And then of course never bring him in :) It is smartest not to have him quit his job and jump into something with no experience-personal stuff aside. Focus on that and don't feel bad!

Ok-well it's obvious from what you say that your husband is a bright guy, but nowhere NEAR qualified for that position.
I'd approach it from the "with a new business, we can't put all of our eggs in the new business basket"!
It will take years to get that business the way you want it, it's a night and day commitment (you already know that) and you need his separate income/endeavors and NOT both of you up to the eyebrows in "new business stress", right? ;)

Sounds like you just need to sit down with him and explain to him your feelings. If you think you need a mediator for that conversation find one. A councilor, preacher someone that will not take sides per say that can help.

Would it be possible to stress how his current job would be much more financially practical? Or question if he'd be able to handle working with you (of course it's the other way around, but if you make yourself out to be too much of a perfectionist and difficult to work with...really downplay yourself...maybe that would get him agreeing with you). Or agree to it, but with a condition: that you both attend marriage counseling to keep you on an even keel.

Is he going to be able to take directions from you w/out his ego being bruised and left at the front door? Have him think about that before making a decision. Back to his current job, if it pays more than an office mgr would, remind him your finances are going to take a hit, so is that what he wants?

I would go with, "Honey, I think it's great that you're so supportive of this. It makes me feel really confident that I can do it. I just need you to support me as a husband and not as my employee."

Then after that, emphasize how having both of you involved in a new venture isn't as stable as you'd like it to be and you each need to be in your own niche, etc, as others have suggested.

Of course he'll say that he can handle it and he's motivated to make it work, so you may just have to be blunt about it at some point.

"Honey, I love you, but if I buy the vet business then for the sake of our marriage we shouldn't work together all day every day. It might be better if there are situations where I ask you for help and then you let me know if you can do it in specific instances. This is what's best for our marriage."

I wouldn't bring up his lack of experience in veterinarian environments or his temperament. I would appeal to his desire to provide for his family and to come to your rescue when you ask him to do so.

What Mira said.

Perhaps you can have him be involved, and tap into his dream, without havig all your eggs in one basket. You said he had a good head for business, though he is in a completely different field. Perhaps he can be a Part Time Marketing Consultant - Monthly brainstorming meetings on how to promote the business, etc. Have him be involved, use his head for business, but as a consultant - an Independent Contractor - and not as an employee.

An office manager is a business person and should be able to sell anything to anyone. It really sounds like he's a good person to do this job.

BUT I do agree that being together that many hours per day would be stressful.

On the other hand all the money the practice makes will be going into your household and not be split up into several households.