Dear Moms,
I go in on Thursday to deliver my second child, and my mom will be in town to help take care of my older son (who turns 5 on Sunday!) My hubby and I agree that we'd like our son to see Mommy in the hospital before his brother's born (he's had a lot of questions and anxieties about Mommy being hurt, will I be okay, etc) so I'm having my mom bring him up relatively early in the day (before the major pains begin!) to see us, then they'll go have a fun day "out" before coming up to meet his brother after delivery. Any other moms out there that can share their experiences with this? Would you recommend doing it another way, like having them wait up at the hospital with us during most of the labor, then just stepping out during delivery?
Also: because we only have a 2-bedroom house, our boys will be sharing a room. We have a basinette for our room, which is where my son will sleep at least the first month. My question is this: our big overstuffed comfy rocker (where I'll nurse) is in the boys' room, so I imagine when he cries and wakes, I'll walk him quietly into their room for nursing each time. Yes, my older soon should sleep through it (he's a very sound sleeper) but I'm anxious already about the interrupting of his sleep schedule? Anyone else's kids had to share a room, and how did you handle it? I'm just trying to plan all this out in my head, and try to anticipate the challenges of incorporating the new baby into our lives! It was much different with my first, when all we had to worry about was him, and didn't have a pre-schooler in the house (and room!) too.
Thanks in advance for your advice, ladies! We sure are excited about welcoming our new little guy; been waiting a long time for this!!
My kids always shared rooms, and there wasn't a problem with the babies waking the younger ones. My first 2 were just 20 months apart. At one point, I think I had 3 kids in one room (the first 3 were 4 years apart)... it was a BIG room! We also used a bassinet for the first month or so, so that did make it easier.
My daughter was 4 when I had my son. She did great. I had a c-section though, so there was no waiting around all day. I had her there before I went in to give her hugs and kisses, and I made sure she was the first one to greet her new little brother.
As for sharing the room, I would suggest keeping your baby in your room until he is sleeping through the night and feed him in your room. My baby is 4 weeks, and she wont be out of my room until she sleeps through the night, and probably for a while after because shes my last baby. ;)
My kids were 8 years apart. I had my mom and daughter wait at home until my other child was born. They didn't need to be there for hours waiting. Once I was about to deliver, my husband called my mom and then they headed up to the hospital. It worked out way better that way.
My kids also shared a room. But - my newborn was in a bassinet in my room for a while so we didn't have many problems. Plus, when we did move the baby into her sisters room, the older one is a very sound sleeper and never woke up to the crying. Not sure how well of a sleeper your son is.
Another option is to have the crib in your room for the first year. I have friends who did this with both their children. Not sure how you feel about that. It worked for them. Then the kids are off to their own rooms.
Do you not want him in the room for delivery? My husband watched both of his sisters be delivered and that's something that made him feel special and those are good memories for him... we are having our second in december and plan on having our 2 1/2 year old in the room for delivery so she can see where her little brother came from.. now if labor is like crazy long then my mom will take her to chuck e. cheese or something until the action starts. There's no way I'd make her stay up there for hours waiting but we have every intention of having her in the room during delivery.. maybe we're just crazy lol.
I wouldn't have the five year old hanging around at the hospital, he'll get bored and you'll be worrying about him instead of focusing on you. Let him have his fun day out and then come back to meet baby brother. Of course, unless this is a planned Csection, you can't really know exactly how things will go, so you just have to be flexible.
On the room sharing, I'm guessing big brother will probably sleep through baby noises. I always thought our second would wake our first with every cry, but kids don't have those sensitive "mommy ears" that respond to every noise the baby makes. Of course, they didn't share a room, but were right next to each other with doors open. But there have been times more recently that they have shared a bed, and the toddler waking and calling (loudly) for me didn't wake my oldest.
Good luck, and enjoy this time. It has been my greatest joy to watch my kids develop a relationship and love each other!
Well my first was only 2.5 when my second was born, but I didn't have him come up until the next day. That gave me and the new baby some rest and recovery. My older son came up with Daddy to pick me and his baby bro up and he loved it. I kept my second son in my room for about 2.5 or 3 months. That might help with the sleep thing as they tend to wake alot during those months. I don't really move my babies until they are sleeping about 7 hrs per night bc I would rather just reach over and pull them into bed with me to nurse, than walk across the house, so just a thought. I am about to have to broach the whole room sharing thing myself so I haven't quite been through it yet, but no matter how we do it I am going to keep our new baby with me until he/she is sleeping through a good chunk of the night. Congrats!!
It sounds like you have a perfect plan and a great mom. Such an exciting time! For a five year old, distraction is best until after labor, when he can come see his baby brother. Good luck and enjoy!
My daughter was almost 6 when I had my son. She went to school that morning and hubby brought her up later that day and all was well. Just be prepared for the jealous issues when you come home!! My daughter was fine until we got home the next day and she realized the baby was not only coming with us but staying too!! lol She had some ugly words to say about the whole thing and I calmly explained to her that wasn't a nice way to talk and that we still loved her and all that good stuff. I also made sure I spent one on one time with her when my son was napping too so she didn't feel left out.
Good luck and congrats!
S.
