Need Advice - Akron, OH

First off, CONGRATS! Buying a house is a big deal and I'm sure it's stressful. Maybe your mom's just under some added stress too. My mom has a knack for this herself. It sounds as if the circumstances surrounding your mom's house being up for sale to begin with may not have been her most favorable, so being under that stress for what ever reason and also knowing that her "little girl" ('cause you know we're always their little girls) is a single mom and about to take on the wonders of home ownership, maybe she's a bit scared for you too and instead of verbalizing that she's afraid for you for whatever reason she's instead being negative about the idea. My mom does the same thing. I have to tell myself that she doesn't intend to be negative, she's trying in her own way to guide me... all be it a bad way to guide, it is her way. LOL Maybe slow down and have a talk with Mom, let her know how you're feeling and why. If you can, show her how you plan to care for the house and that she has nothing to worry about. I know my mom worries about whether or not I'm organized enough or make enough money, or have enough time, etc. I'm betting this could be the case with your mom too. Have a talk, get it out, and hopefully then together the two of you can enjoy this experience instead of dread it. I think it's wonderful that not only are you doing your best to provide for your son, giving him the stability of the home he's known, but you're also helping your mom. That's wonderful!

I think you should go ahead and go through with the sale. As long as you know you can handle it you shouldn't let her run you out. I know that is so much easier said then done when we look to our parents for that support. Go for what you know will be right. I wish you the best of luck and congradulations!

I think you should ask your mom why she does not want you to buy the house from her. My husband works at a car dealership and when he sold cars he would not sell cars to family members. He did not want to sell to a family member because he was afraid that if something happened to the car and it needed repairs some time down the road that they would get mad at him or it would cause family problems. I personally do not know your mom or her reasons, but she might be afraid of the same thing.
Good Luck,
S. R.

I think that it's always risky to mix business with family. And buying a house is just that--business. You wouldn't allow a seller who wasn't related to you to question you on this level and make it hard for you to GIVE them your money. So what you have to ask yourself is, is all this worth it? If you can afford to, and you don't want to deal with drama, start looking elsewhere. You might find a wonderful house out there that is in your price range and comes with no apron strings attached.

If you feel like you can talk to your mom, tell her how you feel and that you are trying to do business with her, which SHE needs. If she is going to continue to give you a hard time, then that has to be her problem and not yours.

....L

We bought one of our homes from family. It is hard buying / selling a home anyway. There are emotions attached to the property weather we want to admit it or not. The truth is we take the memories with us thus the emotions.

Imagine going back and seeing the same home you decorated and raised your family in changed. This is what she is working through. My wonderful Mother-in-law revealed her feelings several years after we had been living there. We had big ticket items we had to fix on the property since we waived inspections. There were dented feelings on both sides... Just remember that blaming always breeds more hurt.

Be patient we all don't transition graciously. Those feelings are hers to own not yours. Own yours only and remember to forgive. Time will help her see different. Part of her wants to sell but part of her wants to stay.

The position your in doesn't feel good right now. Tread lightly and make the best call you can. I would be careful if you think it will cause irreparable harm to your future relationship. I would say that kind of damage is not worth it. Best wishes... C.:-)

Try to explain to your mom why you want to buy the house and that after looking at your finaical situation, you feel that you can do it. Maybe she feels like if she is moving out, she does not want to see the house much again and if you are living it in she will have to see it then it makes it hard. My parents are in the process of selling their house they lived in for 23 years. They have rented it for a year and my mom is having the hardest time going back into that house and cleaning it and all. It actually made her sick the first time she went back in. Your mom's feelings could have something to do with that.
On the other hand, I understand the support issue. I was in school to be a physical therapist. The classes got overwhelming and I got a D in one of my classes. This meant I had to make some changes, such as drop back a year or find something else. I did recieve my bachlor degree but it wasn't one that I could get a good job with. When I told my mom I was going back she said "Are you sure that's a good idea? Do you really want to fail again?"...I looked her in the face and said "I think I can do it, I want to do it and we will never know if I can unless I try so I'm doing it." She didn't totally agree with me, but she did at least give some support from then on.
Just remember, stand up for yourself and go after your dreams! Best wishes!

I think if it were my situation I would go right to her and say if I was to go buy a house elsewhere would that be ok, is it that you don't want to sell to me? But it would be ok to buy from someone else.
I agree it is a little more stable to have a child in the same surroundings until older and they have no problem with expanding, moving up in the world to something new.
It would be like moving to a new area with a new school, all alone, no friends, know noone and thats scary to a kid.
Adults as well are the same way.
Afraid to take that step and move, grant it, its a lot of work moving, adjusting, wondering about job security and so on...
I would just go sit down and have a calm talk and see what issues she has about selling to you and let her know the big changes it would be for you and your siblings if you were to move elsewhere.
R.