My strong willed 6 month old daughter does not want to nap during the day nor go down at night. Here's a typical cycle: she could go down at 9:00 pm, wake up at 5:00 am for a bottle then go back down (with no fight) until 8:00 am. She then will take 2 - 3 naps per day of only 1/2 hour (1 hour if I'm lucky). She can be completely tired, but she'd rather rub her eyelashes off and be awake than go to sleep. She cries before she goes down for naps and bedtime. We've tried putting her in her crib while sleeping and awake. Either way, she usually starts crying. Now we've resorted to letting her cry and work it out (especially when we know she's not sick, teething, too hot/cold, dry, hunger is satsified, etc.), but for the past few nights, she's cried anywhere from 20 minutes to 1 1/2 hours without any intervention on our part. The Ferber method says to go in every so often, but this will only make the situation worse (a vicious cycle of starting and stopping crying -- she IS strong willed). I need to get this resolved before she gets more mobile. Otherwise, I'll have real opposition on my hands. Any suggestions?
Thank you to everyone who offered their advice. Your advice and suggestions reassured me that I was on the right track. I found that consistency - bedtime and two naps per day at the same time each day was the key. With two short naps per day, she was ready to go to bed at the same time each night without being overtired and fighting it. I started a simple night routine to cue her "it's time". She went down peacefully each night, but would wake up in the middle of the night to feed or get soothed. I cut that out too. I had to let her cry on that one, and now she either does not wake up or when she does, she can put herself back to sleep with a little mumbling. It really only did take three nights to accomplish all of this. Now our family can all sleep quietly and peacefully, and no one has to wonder who has the "job" of putting our daughter to sleep or of getting up in the middle of the night! Thank you!!
Try Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, its my bible. Maybe she is overtired by the time she goes down for nap. My 10 month old will go into MELTDOWN if he gets overtired and at that point there is no way he will fall asleep. I lay him down at the first whimper of tiredness. Good luck!!! Mommies need nap time too to revive themselves!
(I just read Katari's response and agree with everything she said)
Hi A.....I had the same issues with my son. He never took naps and was up every hour and a half until 3 or 4 months...then, about five hours straight at night before waking up and very sporatic(if any) naps. The first time he had any real length of sleep was around 5 months when I followed the Weissbluth book (he was our pediatrician when our son was born) and I had to let him cry for almost 2 hours before he fell asleep. It was so hard, but I only wish I started earlier. The essential school of thought is that the child gets put to bed before they get too overtired which actually makes them sleep worse, not better. It's very interesting...you may want to check it out...it's called "Healthy sleep habits, healthy child," and every one I know who has used it raves about it. Good Luck
Hello A.
Your daughter sounds exactly like my son two months ago when he was also 6 months old! Of course my son also has problems (GI problems, GERD, and major teething), but the case sounds the same!
I also tryed the Ferber method until a pedi told me that sometimes it can have the oppisite effect on a baby, I didn't believe him but the more I thought about it, it made since. The child knows that you are coming back and gets themselves more worked up.
He told me to just be totally consistant with the bed time routine, bath, books, bottle, music (I chose to use the same CD) then lay him down, pat his head, tell him that I love him SOOO much and close the door. The first few nights where rough, crying (like yours) anywhere from 15min-2hours (of course I mad sure he was ok by peeking in). I tried to make myself busy too, so I didn't have to think about why he was crying, like doing the dishes, folding clothes, picking up. After 3 nights exactly, he started to fall asleep without even a wimper, he did talk to himself, but real softly.
We are still having other issues staying asleep, but at least it's not a fight to get him down anymore, that really was soooo stressful, so I know what you are going through with that.
Good luck and I hope I've helped a little.
Z.
p.s. I also had the same nap problems, and when we got him falling asleep at night, down, he started to take 3 naps a day, for a total of 4-5hr, I think that he was just over tired all those days and that too made him not what to sleep at nap and bedtime, and he his a much better baby than the one I'm used to!!!
A.,
I too had the same problem with my daugther, who is now almost 8 months old. Here is what we did to help her. First, do you need her to sleep until 8:00 every morning? Because I found that it counts as a "nap" in her book. So if you can get her up earlier so she will want a nap longer in the day. But be careful because my daughter will keep sleeping (for 3 hours) at her first nap and then not want to take a second nap but trust me, she needed it because she got really fussy. So now we wake her (carefully) after two hours so she will nap in the afternoon for an hour.
Just like everyone else said if you miss the window of napping she will get overtired and then not nap. Watch carefully and look for signs. If you need to write down her schedule so you can start to see a pattern. I noticed that three hours time span works for our daughter (up for three hours then nap then up for three hours nap and then the same bedtime within a half an hour difference).
I agree about going in when she is crying, it seems to just make it even worse if it is possible. It seems that seeing us upsets her more. We just listen to the cries and know that there are some that tell us,"No way, I am not napping at all." But we are very lucky because she has always been a good sleeper at night since she was 7 weeks old. She knows it is time for bed and gets her self settle and sleeps.
Good luck to you. Each baby is so different but think about that morning time because it may be throwing off her whole day. My daughter usually to sleep until 8:30am and I could a lot of things in the morning but she would stay awake all day with no naps (if I let her). Now I get her at 7:30 (no later) and she takes better naps.
I agree with the recommendations for the "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" book. It helped me alot with my daughter who is now 2. She began life as a "terrible" sleeper. She didn't even sleep her first night in the hospital, and the pediatric nurses even told us good luck. After choosing a method and sticking to it, and writing down a schedule for her every day (including feedings) she became a very good sleeper and still is. The biggest thing I think is consistency every day until a good routine is established. Another important item I believe is to find an object that soothes your baby that you can keep in the crib. My daughter would not take a pacifier, but got a lot of use out of a small (12" square) baby blanket. It is smooth on one side and very soft on the other and intended for sleeping. Hang in there. I think it took 3 weeks of "hell" to get my daughter to the point where we could simply put her down and she would happily go to sleep. I felt so cruel at the time, but it really did make everyone happier.
