Napping/crying

I put my son in his infant carrier, his pediatrician's suggestion, because his digestive system wasn't developed fully he got gas I guess and it was uncomfortable lying flat and the reclined angle helped. Sometimes he was in his crib, but usually for naps we kept him where we were so he could get used to sleeping through regular everyday sounds. Good luck with it. It's reaaly rough when they don't nap and even harder whey they are crying AND not napping.

Let her nap somewhere else. My 4 month old naps in his swing everyday. He wakes up if I try and get him to nap in the crib after 10 mins. but he sleeps fine in there at night. I'll move him to the crib when he's about 7 months old. It's what I did with my older two. My 18 month old naps fine in his crib now and did since I moved him at 7 months. In my opinion, as long as they sleep in the crib at night then who cares where they nap. Good luck.

Get a ring sling or wrap or other baby carrier and wear her around. This is the only thing that helps with my second baby some nights when it's time for bed. She's older now, so I put her in the mai tai in a back carry and walk around the house picking up the toys her and her sister left. When she was a newborn I'd have her in the ring sling in a cradle carry and she would sleep snuggled into my chest while I was at work (I worked with other new moms and was able to bring my baby with me). She will go to sleep on you while you do the things you do with minimal adjustment to how you do things. You can get one at most places like Walmart or Target, and eBay always has good deals. I recommend an unpadded ring sling for beginners. www.askdrsears.com has wonderful advise on this and other subjects.

I wouldn't let her cry it out. I believe it does cause trust issues between mom and child. Give yourself permission to hold her for now. It's not like that is gonna damage her for life. LOL! And so what if you don't get everything done on your list of things to do. That part is a wonderful bonus of being a SAHM (stay at home mom)! Enjoy being a mom to a little, baby girl. She will be driving before you know it! LOL! And while she is gone to the store or out with her friends, you will have plenty of time to do all of those things that you didn't when she was just a baby. Permission to relax and enjoy...granted!

Please tell your husband THANK YOU from our family for his service. We are so proud of our military men and women. One nation under God!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 8 & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal.

Hi Jamime,

I didn't read any of the responses you received already but I just wanted to say that I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It is sooo hard isn't it? My son was never a good sleeper at that age and it continued until he was almost a year old.

I agree with you that at 3 months of age crying-it-out will do more harm than good...and I wouldn't even consider that as an option until they are over 9 months.

Anyway, my husband and I struggled so much with naps, that we finally said that we would do whatever it took to get that baby to sleep, b/c he needed it for his health/growth/etc. So we did end up holding him (just for his naps), but it worked. Often, I would wear a wrap and he would sleep in that. At 3 months, they are still so young and they still need a lot of contact.

I can only imagine how hard it is doing it on your own and you need a break. I bought/read every sleep book I could get my hands on. But none of them had any ideas or advice that would work for MY baby. So, I quickly learned how to sleep sitting up holding my baby while he slept (just naps). Yes, it was a habit we had to break later, but as he got older, he didn't mind his crib so much and it got us through those really tough months. It was a gradual process but it worked and now he naps twice a day in his crib and sleeps great at night. I NEVER thought I would say that. But it does get better.

Hang in there. Everything is a phase and it will pass. Good luck!!!

Hi Jaime,
2 of my 4 kids were "high demand" babies. They need constant physical closeness and would never sleep on their own in a crib at that age. Letting her cry it out is not a great idea at this point in her life. I strongly recommend you practice baby wearing.. get a sling and learn to use it (it takes practice and patience so dont give up after the first two tries wink.) Some babies just need to be close to mom all the time for the first 6 months or so. My babies never napped in cribs, I let them nap wherever they were willing to sleep.. bouncy chair, swing, car seat etc.
I did see a marked improvement in their ability to cope when I practice baby wearing so give it a try.

i didn't read what everyone else posted, but i put my little guy to sleep in his bouncy seat and he'll go for a few hours. (this one: http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2001&e=detail&...) we use this bouncy seat instead of a pack n play when we travel and he sleeps in that. i also get more sleep from him if i tire him out playing with him before i put him down. sometimes he's really fussy and i have to swaddle him before trying to get him to sleep. i haven't put him in his crib yet for a nap.

Hi J.! I've responded to you before, and I don't think this is going to help you, but I just REALLY wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I wish I lived next door because I would come over and pop that baby into a stroller and walk around the neighborhood while you enjoyed an hour of QUIET!!! I didn't have much help when I had my "crier", and the only time she stopped crying was when we walked. A benefit - I lost all my pregnancy weight and then some in the first 2 months!! She may just be one of those kids who will cry the minute you put her down - even if you try every tip that is given to you. But PLEASE know that it will end. In the mean time, see if you can get a friend or neighbor to help out.

K.

We had the same issue. Turned out to be severe acid reflux.
we laid her down and it took 10 minutes for the acid to leak up to her esophagus and was very painful and uncomfortable and got her to crying.
Pls get her checked out for either a milk protein allergy or possible reflux. Google GERD in Infants- and see if any symptoms are similar...

What Are the Symptoms of GERD in Infants and Children?

The most common symptoms are:

* Frequent or recurrent vomiting
* Frequent or persistent cough
* Heartburn, gas, abdominal pain, or colicky behavior (frequent crying and fussiness)
* Regurgitation and re-swallowing

In young infants and children, some problems may be associated with GERD and include:

* Colic (frequent crying and fussiness)
* Feeding problems
* Recurrent choking or gagging
* Poor growth
* Breathing problems
* Recurrent wheezing
* Recurrent pneumonia

Be optimistic! Every week is a different week when a baby is that young so by the time Thanksgiving rolls around your baby will be napping and you'll have a new challenge to work with (maybe excessive drooling or something like that?) :-)

I feel for you and this too shall pass!! Your baby is so young and you really shouldn't worry too much about the sleep thing-- i.e. getting her on a schedule, timing naps, etc. My daughter slept for hours and hours in a sling. I would wear it and be able to do some things around the house. Have you tried laying down with her and nursing her down and then leaving? That works now for my daughter and she is 13 months. My duaghter still does not sleep through the night, but I am a big believer in co-sleeping and easing your baby into and out of sleep and independent sleep. I highly suggest any books by Dr. Sears. I know it is hard and confusing. All I can say is-- TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. YOu are her mom and know what feels right!! Good luck!

My son was a crier at that age. He's definitely grown out of it... he'll be two next week. I didn't try Cry It Out until he was between 4 & 5 months... until that point, I wore him in various slings and carriers and would let him nap wherever I could get him to sleep. Often times I'd have him nap in his papasan chair or swing with a light weight blanket over it. I also think the book and DVD "the happiest baby on the block" worked the best for me to stop the crying. I only wished I had studied the book and dvd before he was born.

Not sure what other books people recommended to you, but we also used the "healthy sleep habits, happy child" book once he was about 4 or 5 months and that helped with setting nap times and other sleep issues.

Good luck.
A.

Good luck to you. I am sure she will stop crying and start sleeping in her crib eventually... give her time and know that while it is exhausting and can drive you crazy, it's only a stage.

i second the wrap idea. i used to put my daughter in a wrap or front pack and then sweep and mop my floor. the rocking put her to sleep and my floors got done. then after cleaning the floor i would just lay down with her.

another thing i did was to lay on the floor or bed with my daughter on my chest and breathe slowly in and out. i tried to relax all of my body and mind, like meditating. this was good for when she cried a lot. it calmed both of us. the rise and fall of my chest helped her and also babies feel our stress so it helps to be as relaxed as possible.

which brings me to my final thought, if you are at your end and she won't calm down, put her in her crib or bouncer or somewhere safe and walk away. i used to put my baby in her crib and jump in the shower for a couple of minutes. this rejuvenated me. in the long run, it may be better and safer for your baby to step away when you need to. good luck!

Hi J.,
At 3 months old, babies just eat and sleep; have you checked if she's hungry, dirty, cold, too warm,,,or probably she just needs mom. Don't try to be too strict with her schedule at this age,,,babies need lots of love and care. Her schedule will later accommodate to yours, but now just focus on what she is probably asking.
Try making her sleep in her stroller, take a nice walk with her (that worked with my baby when she didn't want to sleep), put her in a bouncer,,,or just rock her until she sleeps.
Good luck!

J.,

Are you also the mom who has recently switched to Similac Alimentum? If so, talk to your Dr. about acid reflux. My son had the same symptoms, we are also on Alimentum and the Dr. discovered he had acid reflux. He is now on medication and the difference is night and day. He no longer cries constantly and will actually take a nap. We didn't discover the cause of his crying / fussiness till 4 months and since then we are all much happier - he is now 6 months. Please talk to your Dr. Good Luck!! Stay strong :)

My daughter did this when she was young. At one of her check ups I talked to her doctor. She had acid reflux. I don't know if that is what is happening with your daughter, but it would be worth checking out.

J.,

My daughter Kaitlin was a horrible sleeper/napper until about 5 1/2 months. She did exactly what your daughter does...will fall asleep on you and the minute you put her down, eyes pop open and the screaming starts. I can remember a day when we actually let her cry for 2 hours (and yes, we timed it). Then of course my pediatrician said that was too long for a 3 1/2 month old to cry.

The only way she would sometimes stay asleep is if she was very tightly swaddled. Do you swaddle your daugher? And I mean tightly..to the point where you might think it's hurting her. I think my daughter slept on me for the better part of her first 5 months. Then at about 5 1/2 months, I was having an exceptionally rough day and decided to let her cry for a while in her crib to try to nap. I went outside so I didn't have to listen to her. 1/2 hour later, it was quiet. I went upstairs to check on her and it was the first time she had flipped herself over. She was sound asleep on her tummy. From that day forward I put her down on her tummy. It took about a week for her to really get used to it, but after that she slept like a champ.

Hang in there....it will get better. I am now dealing w/ my little boy (9 mo) who has severe reflux and throws up every time he flips to his tummy!

L.
Reston, VA

Some babies simply won't "cry it out." I've read that most kids, when they cry, produce seratonin, which relaxes them and puts them to sleep, hence crying themselves to sleep. Others (like my own daughter!) don't produce seratonin in the same levels, so they will keep crying and crying.

My daughter would only nap in her vibrating bouncy seat, a swing, or the car. If your baby just wants to be near you, you could try a sling or other baby carrier.

If she's crying all the time, not just when you put her down to nap, of course you should get her checked out for reflux or other things as well.

If it's any consolation, I had a baby that screamed about 18 hours a day for her first 3-4 months. Around 4-5 months she was much better and is now a happy & healthy nine year old.

But we didn't have any more after her!!!

I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this, but, my daughter was a terrible sleeper/napper. We tried letting her sleep in her swing, on me, on the floor, everywhere. She finally slept when we put her on her tummy. I know you are supposed to keep them on their back the first year, but once they can roll over on their own our pediatrician said it was ok. I also did a lot of research and kept a very close eye on her. I was amazed at the difference it made. I am also a tummy sleeper so it makes sense! She is 15 mos now and sleeps great, on her tummy! Good luck

Does she have colic? Acid Reflux? Ear infections? Any of those could cause the crying when you lay her down. Consider those first. I would recommend mastering the swaddle and/or use a swing if that doesn't work. My first slept on my chest for naps by the third I learned how to swaddle. I would also consider using the infant carrier if she naps well in there. One of my nurses during my third pregnancy admitted to having her daughter sleep in her carseat at night so I didn't feel so bad about the constant swing napping.
White noise also helps in the room. Good luck! You are doing a great job, Mom, and you know that this too will pass (it just seems like an eternity!).

Make sure you have her checked out with your pediatrician. She may be ill.

how are you putting it to bed

try these things.

if you think it is accid reflux. get a very stiff pillow and put it under the head end of the matress this should help raise her up a little bit.

also i know every one says back-to-sleep. but have you tried to get it to sleep on its stomach. my baby would only sleep on his stomach.

also do you still swaddle the baby? if not try it if so try not doing it.

another thing when she does sleep in there and then wakes up crying, dont pick her up but talk to her reassure her. touch her tell her it is ok, talk to here.

also when she does sleep does she fall asleep in silence or noise.

try and put some music on or childrens story on cd on. that way it could help.

also do you let her fall asleep in the light and then put her down in dark??? try messing with these variables. all i know is that it takes longer than 3 days to get a good routiene going and you can not show that you are stressed or aggitated like that.

babies will pick up on that.

wost comes to worst take a nap with her that will be good for you too. you will just need to reschedule your day.

just remember that these books are just recomendations and that you have to go with what works for you.

i am also a military wife,
if you are local maybe we can get together and you can come see how we did it.

message me back private.

hope you find this a little bit of help.

Mel

At that age, I would put my kids into their cribs when they were awake with a few toys so they could associate their crib as fun. Then I would work up to the point where I could take a shower while they played. Eventually they would be used to it enough to take a nap. Healthy Sleep Habits by Weissbluth really helped me, and it does have a section in it about young infants. good luck. (I don't think I accomplished napping in crib until they were about 3 1/2 months--for my son, and 6 months for my daughter)

My 2nd daughter was an awful sleeper in the begining. It got better around 5 months. She hated to sleep in the crib for naps. She would always shake her hands and wake herself up after 10 min, so swaddling helped some. I used to lay on the couch and let her sleep on me, or I put her in a sling. She still LOVES that sling (I got it at Babies R Us) it's very easy and you can move around the house or even take a walk outside. Speaking of, fresh air usually helps both mine settle down and sleep. Your baby really needs consistent sleep to be healthy right now, so do what you have to. I always had a book/magazine in the car if she fell asleep there.

If she sleeps okay at night, I don't think it's an ear infection or acid reflux problem, but tell your doctor anyway just in case.

I know it's hard so Good Luck!!

J.,

When my twins were that little they never wanted to nap in their cribs either and I never forced the issue. I think they didn't start really napping regularly in their cribs until they were around 6-8 months old.

They were either fall asleep on me (yes both at the same time) and they'd sleep for at least 1 1/2 hours or in the swing or bouncy seat. At that age I didn't want them to cry it out so I let them sleep where they would be most comfortable, becuase for my sanity they needed to sleep!

You want to consider that she's got some tummy issues that are keeping her from getting comfortable in her crib. Where does she sleep at night? If she's sleep in her crib at night then it may not be there.

Also I used the book 12 hours by 12 weeks for my twins and it was great. The advice was fantastic and it's a short book with super good tips. I have many friends who used that book as well.

Good luck and at this age you should hold her if she cries. there is nothing wrong with giving her what she needs at this age. It's not going to spoil her as she gets older.

J.,

What do you do when you put her down for her naps? do you rock her a bit? feed her? I don't know if it could be medically related, but has she had any ear infection issues? The reason I even bring this up is my first child did the same thing, she was fine upright and then when i put her down she would sleep but wake up in a matter of minutes. Does she sleep through the night and this only happens at nap time? she may not be a napper which stinks for you.

Once we knew what our issue was we were able to get her sleeping longer than 10 mins. If you know it isn't medically related, have you tried playing music while she sleeps? They have soo many types of soothing music and did that for both of mine. Mine weren't big nappers, but 10 mins, that stinks.

Good luck! L.

I agree with a couple of the previous posters...do what you can to get the baby to sleep at this age. I loved Happiest Baby on the Block...he essentially says the same thing. My 16 mo. old napped in the swing or bouncy seat until he was around 5 mo. old and transitioned pretty easily to crib naps too. Who knows why but I guess he wasn't ready... He naps great now in his crib for 2 1/2-3 hours. Don't worry... it won't last forever! :-) Good luck!

Your baby is just 3 months old. You have to make violence to yourself and let her in her crib even if she cries.
Don't jump to hold her anytime she does. Babies feel when we are too weak with them

My daughter never slept in a crib. She would wake up quickly.

For me, babywearing and putting my daughter to nap on a playmat quickly accessible to me worked best.

Also, if you daughter is so quickly waking from being put down, I suspect that she is not as asleep as you think she is. Babies have two sleep stages. A shallow one from which they are easily awakened and a deeper sleep. She needs to be in the second sleep stage. Pick up her hand and let it fall. If it falls limply back without reaction, she is solidly asleep.

I have 2 little boys, ages 4 and almost 2. They were both not good infant nappers. Here is my advice: at 3 months, do whatever you can to help them nap! (As long as it doesn't drive you crazy). I used the swing, the baby bjorn, swaddling, rides in the stroller, WHATEVER and they slept in the co-sleeper or crib at night so they did sleep lying down at night. My boys napped the best in the swing. Then when they were 5-6 months of age I slowly put the swing away and moved them to the crib. There was some crying but they quickly learned, and they were old enough to soothe themselves. You just can't let a 3 month old cry in his crib - my baby had no self soothing skills until he was an older infant and it just isn't good for them and won't help them sleep. By 6-7 months of age, both of my kids were napping on a schedule, in the crib, and sleeping all night. And they, and my husband and I, were very happy! They continue to be good sleepers now. THe Healthy Sleep Habits book is helpful - however some of his advice just didn't work for my kids - I took from that book - early bedtimes, nap at home in the crib (at 6 months for my kids) and be consistent. Just don't stress about about the napping in the crib now, throw him in the stroller and walk sometimes - you'll both feel better. But she does need to nap so make sure you build in sleep.

I use to be a stay at home mom in the military. I have 3 boys who are older and in school and now a girl who is 2 months old. I notice a huge difference with her now that there is a schedule in our lives when the boys were younger i didnt have that as much. Maybe if you try waking up the same time everyday taking your shower around the same time ect... it has made a world of differnce for me.I think they learn what to expect and i know it doesnt sound directly conected but i feel it really is.

hi J.- please don't listen to people that tell you that you have to let her cry, that she can sense "weakness" etc. She's only three months old. There's a great theory out there that the first three months of a baby's life really should have been spent in the womb and that they are born at 40 weeks for size reasons only (can you imagine pushing out a 3 month old) and that by 3 months, they are just barely starting to figure things out. My daughter napped in a swing, in the car, in a bouncy seat that vibrated- I didn't even get her near her crib until 4 months. To put it bluntly, she's just too young. Maybe some babies can handle it, but yours can't, and she's too young to be forced into it. Don't stress- your instinct is right, she isn't ready for this. Relax and let her sleep where she wants to- wear her, rock her, swing her, whatever works.
THe vibrating bouncy seat was a miracle- i'd nurse her, rock her, and then tuck her into the seat. It was awesome. :) good luck