Nap Time - Hillsboro, OR

Get a Maya wrap!! They are great. I have 3 girls. But my third one was very demanding as a little baby!! I couldn't do anything........... she wanted held all the time. And No you can't SPOIL a baby. She just needs you right now! Anyways, the maya wrap helped so I could have her "on me" and still get basics done. (dinner, helping other children, etc.) My third girl is 2 years old now and is TOTALLY happy, healthy and independent. So there is an "end" in sight :)

Hi S.,

I am just about in the same boat you are so I will be watching the responses closely. My two month old sleeps great at night. (Thank my lucky stars and all.) But she doesn't nap well at all! It doesn't matter if I put her down asleep, drowsy, whatever... she wakes up. I know she is exhausted. Ugh!

Best of luck to you,
A.

No way can you spoil a child this young. There's a theory of the "fourth trimester" meaning humans are born before they're really ready to be born because otherwise we'd never be able to birth their big heads. So the first three months of life all the little guys want is to be snug next to mom, the only stimulation your heartbeat, your voice, your face.

Please consider wearing your baby. Moby wrap, ergo, baby bjorn, any will do that you find comfortable and still able to get everything else you need to get done.

I suggest Dr. Sears Sleep book and No Cry Sleep Solution... they both have excellent sections on napping.

My 9 month old only started regulating the timing/duration of her naps within the last month or so. It was important for her and me to remain flexible to meet her needs as they change: we co-sleep when she needs it, I hold/carry/sling her when she needs it, even to nap, even at this age. Rather than "spoiling" her she is learning she can trust and depend on me. She is learning no matter what I'll be there for her. The benefit: as she begins to walk and explore her world she is secure in knowing someone is looking out for her. Does that sound spoiled or self-confident and independent?

Good luck,
A.

2 mos. should still make her own schedule
mom of 3 weeks/ 3 year/ 6 year/ 12 year old boys

can't spoil.
she needs you.
every baby is different.

didn't read the other responses ... so super-short:
back carrier?
one of those baby-swings, in the room you are in?

I agree with the previous reply. It is not that she is spoiled just that she has become used to falling asleep on your chest or while being carried. One of the things that helped us was the Slumber Bear. It plays the sounds of in utero. We found the big thing is when you lay on someone you can hear them. Much like when she was in your belly. This is very comforting to them. We bought the bear, and slowly started putting her to bed in her crib with it on. Also be sure she is fully asleep at first, as time goes on you can start putting her down sooner and sooner until she learns to fall asleep on her own.

HI S. - You can not spoil a baby this young, that being said......haha. I seem to remember both of my children not really being on nap schedules until they were around 3-4 months. THey just kind of slept whenever they felt like it, BUT....I would try to entertain them as much as I could during the day. Songs, silly faces, walks, and just talking to them. That way they were not sleeping every hour, but more like every 2 to 3 hours, and then sleeping at night (well, my second slept at night at 3 weeks. I bought a costco size package of batteries and he slept in the swing for almost a month, and he slept 6 to 8 hours a night. Hallelujiah. Unconventional, yes, but did I sleep!? YES). So my advice is to try and keep her up and aware for longer stretches of time, that way, she can't fight it, she will sleep. I think when kids are taking a bunch of cat naps through out the day, then we can entertain them more so they will take fewer naps for longer amounts of time. Good luck! L.

Hey S.!

Congrats on your new baby!

I honestly do not believe anyone can spoil a 2 month old.

Your little one has gotten into the habit of sleeping on your chest and/or your husband's chest, but that is not the same thing as spoiling.

A book I would recommend is The Baby Whisperer. There is actually a case study in the book of a newborn baby who would only sleep on his mommy or daddy's chest. The author then outlines what she did to help break the habit in a loving and gradual way.

You sound wonderfully busy, so I don't know how much time you have to read a book! The website to the Baby Whisperer is here: http://www.babywhisperer.com

They have chat boards where you could post your question and get good answers - it might be easier for you then getting the book at the library and reading it.

Best of luck, M.

"Spoiling" is a matter of definition, and so there's always a great deal of discussion on the topic. I think spoiling is giving in to a child in order to make it stop some deliberately manipulative behavior – teaching the child to misbehave to get what it wants.

But babies are not that deliberate, in my observation, for at least their first 5 or 6 months, and probably much longer for most of the ways kids can get spoiled. Babies' needs are always legitimate, to them, and they respond with distress when their needs are not met.

So the trick is to find ways to meet those needs without cutting into your own needs too severely, although we do well to recognize that for the first several months, NOT meeting a baby's needs will create more disturbance and disruption for everybody, and possibly mark the baby's personality in ways that will create additional problems later on. (It's hard to recognize that when you feel that meeting the baby's needs are already causing total disruption, but really, it could be worse.)

It has appeared to be true for both my daughter and now my grandson that spending a little time trying to understand any situation from the child's point of view brings helpful insight. Both of these babies napped best when sleeping on someone's chest for their first couple of months, which became a terrific burden for the caregiving adults (especially as they became heavier!).

I found that if I gradually introduced other stimuli, such as singing or a sound machine, gentle bouncing, tapping a back softly with my fingertips, etc., the baby would absorb those inputs as part of its comforting and relaxing signals. I was able to put both babies down very gradually earlier, withe the help of the alternate stimulus. With my daughter I also introduced a flat pillow between her and my body, to cut down on the heat and heart sounds she would get from me, and was able to lay the whole "package" down when she had fallen asleep. (Those were the days before SIDS became part of parents' vocabularies.)

There are lots of stories of babies getting "spoiled" and not making good transitions or fitting comfortably into their families. I can't say that that never happens, and I'm sure personality (of both parents and their babies) figures into the equation prominently. But the babies I have known who are most secure and adaptable have generally had their needs met consistently and ungrudgingly in those early months. That could be because they were the easiest babies anyway, not making heroic demands on their parents. But my heart sense tells me otherwise. Parents who are able to give their babies what they need tend to have happy babies. So the sacrifices you make for your child now will probably make parenting easier in the long run.

My best to you. It must be difficult to give your new baby everything you wish you could when you have other little ones tugging at you.

So my advice is a little different than the previous posters! My husband and I are firm believers in not doing things you're going to have to undo later. For example sleeping with the child. You know that in time you're going to end up having to break that habit and get the baby to sleep in it's own crib so instead of starting out sleeping in the same bed, we put the baby in the crib so she's used to it from day one. To us it seems like unnecessary struggles later down the road. If you start out doing what you're going to end up doing it's better for everyone all around. I have a 5 week old daughter and we're going through the process of trying to get her to sleep more at night than during the day. I also have a 5 1/2 year old son so it's been awhile for me since I've had to do this stuff and our pediatrician gave us a handout at her 2 week checkup about preventing sleep problems. It says that you need to lay the baby down when he/she is drowsy but not asleep. This will teach them to self soothe and learn to fall asleep on their own. Do you have anything in/around the crib that plays music or makes noise? With my son he loved the Ocean Wonders Aquarium and even to this day still likes to listen to it when he's going to sleep (he's not dependant on it, he just likes it...he's now given it to his baby sister). Tatym on the other hand (our baby girl) doesn't like the aquarium as much as she likes the Rainforest one we bought her. The lights keep her attention until she falls asleep and she's listening to the rainforest sounds instead of music. I still have to let her cry-it-out at night when I know she's been fed, changed and is sleepy. She fights the sleep but I can tell you she's sleeping longer now! She's been sleeping from around 11-5am and I think that's great! LOL You're going to have to put your daughter down and let her learn to fall asleep without having to be held. You don't want to have a 4 year old that still has to be held to fall asleep.
Good luck!!!

Hi S.,

No, you can't spoil a baby that young! In fact, you are meeting her needs and being a good mother by listening to her. Have you tried a Moby Wrap? I sell them and I offer free lessons on how to use them. I understand you run a daycare, so you are welcome to come by in the evening or on the weekends too. I tried a number of slings and carriers and found the Moby to be the most comfortable and versatile carrier. You can wear your baby so she is able to nurse and go to sleep and keep her high enough to sit, stand, lean against a counter, etc without disturbing her and keeping it comfortable for you to do your job and take care of your own needs. I wore my daughter while I vacuumed, did the dishes, packaged up orders, etc, etc. It was awesome to be freed from the couch! You can view them at www.mobywrap.com or on my website www.punkinbutt.com

Good Luck!
A.

Well, this doesn't help you get anything done, but to answer your specific question....NO, you can't spoil a two month old baby. She isn't even close to knowing what manipulation is. Right now her very basic need is human contact - it's right up there with food and sleep. Maybe you should get a new "front pack" that is more condusive to your body and what you're using it for. Good luck.

I read Peg M's answer. What a lovely way to help our babies adjust to sleeping without movement.

I once read a very wise woman's words:"Food spoils. Babies never spoil." Too true.

Your littlest one is still more accustomed to the womb than the outside world. She is still more in tune with the pattern of sleeping on you, while moving, than sleeping while lying still. She's just sharing with you what she needs.

I wonder if it might help to talk to someone who could help you find a sling or other kind of pack that would work better for you than the one you have. One you could wear a little higher and be able to sit down with. In Portland, there is a store called "Mother Nature's", and I understand that the owner can tell you all about different options with packs/slings, helping you find one that might work for what you need.

But back to your question, no, you absolutely cannot spoil babies. Once they are older (say 6 months plus), it is more likely that we choose not to start habits with our little ones that we don't want to continue. Babies are, by their very nature, all need. They need our love, our touch, and the nurturing of close contact whenever possible. I too provide child care and having a small person was a great experience for the older children. They learned that the very youngest of us are very dependent for so much, and part of that lesson for all of us is patience.

This is just a season, so hang in there. And remember, if your daughter is just catching catnaps when she can, she will catch up on her sleep at night! My best to you and your family.

No, you cannot spoil a two months old! I highly recommend that you look into getting a wrap - a Moby wrap is a great place to start! It won't work for a much older baby/toddler (maybe past around 9 months or so if you have a bigger baby or past a year if she's small), but it's great for babies!

With a wrap you have a ton of options for carries and you can put her on your back so she'd be out of the way. With the back-wrap-cross-carry, the weight is all on your hips which is wonderful :)

Using a wrap definitely has a learning curve and isn't as easy as buckling something on, but in my experience, it is well worth the time spent learning how to wrap! My two girls are 20 months apart and the wrap has been indispensable for me. My younger takes naps in the wrap when we're out and about so we don't have to rush home or anything and I can still play with my older daughter even when I'm nursing my younger (she nurses in the front-wrap-cross-carry).

Women in other countries use wraps to carry their babies while they're out working in fields and such. We can learn a lot from those wise women!

This is a great resource for baby-wearing:
http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum/

Best wishes!
~B.

Hello, what caught my eye was you have a daycare in home! We are searching around I have a 5year old boy getting ready to head off to school:( Anyway did not know where you are located or if you have openings? My husband and I are just searching, we have f/t care currently but it maybe time to change.

Your baby sounds like maybe a growth spurt with 45mins and then 2hours of nap, but as hard as it is just lay her down everytime. What we did for our son was a music player that does water sound and heart beat, because that is what she is hearing when she lies on your chest and maybe that will sooth her better so you can have some free time!

I will ditto Christina C. Why train one way now, just so you have to re-train them later(does not make sense). The confusion it adds to the kids as well. I don't really have an opinion on the spoiling thing, but parents can sure make things hard on their babies and themselves by allowing these types of little things to start and most of them are quite hard to reverse. Just keep in mind that the little things we are talking about are actually SKILLS that our children need to learn. You're not being mean or a bad Mom, you're helping them learn skills that will greatly benefit them and your family now and through their whole lives.
D.

S.,

I am so glad you posted this because I was about to write the exact same post (swap out 7 year old for two year old and subtract the in home day care). I do have a moby wrap--it IS comfortable and my daughter will sleep for hours in there as I do stuff. This is great, but all the same I do want her to adjust to napping on her own. I believe this is an important skill for her to learn, one that will stay with her as she grows. I am trying to put her down for at least one nap a day. If it's short, so be it, but I am hoping that over time, she will learn to sleep longer on her own during the day. For now, other naps can be on me or in the Moby, I guess. GOod luck to you!

I don't believe that you can spoil a baby. When they are that little you've gotta give them everything they need/cry for. :) Whatever makes them happy, that's what you do. At least that's my opinion on a child that young. Once they get a little older it's a different story of course. ;)

It is not possible to spoil a baby under the age of 3 months. What your baby is telling you is that they haven't quite adjusted to this world.
Please, please get the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD or book (dvd is faster.) What you are giving her while she is being held is swaddling, movement, noise....these are making her feel safe. When she is put down, she doesn't feel safe. In short (but I still recommend the dvd) swaddle her before putting her down, turn on some white noise and possibly, even use the swing. That should improve things greatly.

I have 8 years of professional experience with babies. The Happiest Baby on the Block works. I've only had one time that it didn't and that baby needed some other medical attention.

Good luck,
J.

Hi S., you cannot spoil an infant ,she needs all the comfort the gazing the bonding she needs and this is prime time for her the first 6 months are crucial to wire in her brain the sense of safety that will give her a sense of confidence in the world. I am a neurodevelopmental movement practitioner and could tell you more about all this. Feel free to go to my website and call me ,it is canelledemange.com. Take loving care C.

Hi S.,

I have a couple of suggestions. The first (and best) is to get a Moby wrap. At first I thought that it looked intimidating, but it has been the BEST thing. It is one long piece of cloth that you tie around you the same way every time, but you can put your baby in a couple of different holds at this age. It is extremely comfortable, and it allowed me to sit, do dishes, ride on an airplaine, etc. with my son. He would sleep in that really easily, as it was a comfort to be close to me or his dad and also the movement helped to comfort him. You can get it at many kid/baby stores in Portland (got our at Bellastella) or only at www.mobywrap.com. Best $40 we ever spent. It continues to be useful as they get older, as you can face them out (the one I use most now that he is 5 months old)) put them on your hip or on your back. It's really comfortable, and you can put it on yourself. Everywhere I go, people ask me about it and say they're going to get one for themselves, their son/daughter who just had a baby, etc.

I saw that someone recommended the teddy bear with heartbeat thing, and I love our white noise machine. It's a simple little machine that has a few different noises like rain, waterfall, ocean. He still sleeps with it, and it's really nice. It can kind of block out the noise from the rest of the house as well as comfort them when they're really little with the sound of the womb. :)

Good luck to you! And don't worry about spoiling her this little. She's still incredibly need-based!

I would recommend trying a Peanut Shell sling (or Kangaroo Corner, etc.) to wear baby while doing things around the house. These slings hold the baby in such a way that both arms are free and should not give you any problems while trying to sit.

I don't think you can spoil a child that's only two months old. Infants aren't manipulative, even though it sometimes may seem as if they are (for instance, waking up at the exact moment your feet hit the warm water in the tub for a nice bubble bath).

Your baby is just getting used to the world. Heck, I don't even think their eyesight is fully developed at two months. If slings aren't something you're interested in, for napping I would make sure the room is dark and has some background noise (the womb is a lot noisier than we think). Before putting her down for a nap, make sure all of her other pressing needs are met - clean diaper, full stomach, etc.

Oh, and also swaddling. There are great linen blankets that you can use now since it is hot outside. I wouldn't recommend using these, though, unless you know the temp in the baby's room to be around 70 degrees.

Good luck. We went through a spat where our little man wasn't napping well. The constant demand for attention can be a bit draining. I imagine this is compounded by the presence of a second sibling.