D. W. About Engagement Ring

Sorry, but he might be using that as an excuse to not do it. Anyone who was dying to marry you would want to with anything. Maybe he is not the one for you...which is ok. It only means someone else out there will jump at the chance.

Ebay, Ebay, Ebay!!! My Mum and I get wonderful jewelry deals from Ebay at a fraction of the cost.
Also, maybe he would consider getting you a "just for now" ring. One that may not be THE ring he wants to get you but one that he can replace later...

Hi D.,
There is a way to meet both of your needs. You can tell your boyfriend you are very excited to see the kind of ring he wants you to have. In fact ask him to take you to a jewelry store and show you the ring he wants for you. Maybe the store has long term layaway. While you are in the jewelry store you can show him a simple band and let him know that the band is all you need to be his wife and that you want to spend the rest of your life with him and that the more expensive engagement ring would be a wonderful anniversary gift down the road. Remind him that your marriage should not be based on materialistic motives, but on the love that you share for each other and your son. But if he insists on the new ring make sure he is buying it for the right reasons.
Good Luck
Kim

D.,
Go to QVC.com or watch channel 79 and look for DIAMONIQUE. 14k yellow/white gold or epiphany which is Platinum over silver. They have GORGEOUS wedding sets that look like the real thing. I have had earrings from them for 18yrs now and still look like the real thing. I also purchased an epiphany wedding set in case I wanted to change from my real wedding set of yellow gold. Ialso have an eternity band from there.

LOVE IT ALL...at least take a look and they have a great return policy

Hello..I can understand what your saying about how you dont need an expensive ring because its not the cost that matters when two people love each other....What if you both went and made a comprimise on a ring that is inbetween the cost that he wants to pay and what you think he should pay...That way he still feels like he is getting you what he believes is what you deserve.

Hi D.!

You might want to point out to your partner that the diamond industry is actually really unpleasant. My husband and I deliberately avoided diamonds (though they are beautiful) when we were getting married because of all the bad stuff that goes along with the industry. Here is a recent article you can share with your partner:

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines06/0210-06.htm

Good luck to you!
L.

D.,

Consider the possibility that this is a little stall. Not that he doesn't want to marry you, or that he has doubts, just a little minute to stand back and take a deep breath before he jumps, you know? Let him have it if he needs it, and go into your marriage confident that he is committed and sure when the day comes.

If you're really sure it's about the rock, try explaining to him not that you'd rather skip the ring and just get married, but the things you could do with the ring money that would be better investments. Appealing to his practical side might be a more effective tactic.

Good luck, and congratulations in advance!

J.

My mother often laughs about being married for 20 years before getting her engagement ring. I do not have mine either. Our relationship is worth so much more then a ring. I personally know many girls who had a big ring, and never even made it to the alter. Or did only to be divorced a year later. Maybe one day after years of marridge, when finances are sound he may surprise you with it. Tell your man that you are more concerned with a good relationship other then a ring. If he is insistent on a ring, tell him the only ring you want is a wedding ring.

I had told my husband that I didn't want a ring, and I truly meant it. He went out and bought me a ring anyways, but thought again, and bought us the bands that I had said I wanted. I think he had thought that maybe I was just saying I didn't want a ring, but that I secretly wanted one. Anyways, you should tell your boyfriend that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, that you don't need an expensive ring and that the best gift he could give you is himself. Suggest putting the money spent on a ring towards something else, like a great getaway, a savings for your kids, etc. Good luck and congrats!

I would say here's the calendar. Let's pick a date. LOL. Four years was plenty of time to buy a diamond. Sounds like it could be a delay excuse??? You don't need a diamond to get married. I've been with hubby for 30 years. Good luck
D.

Ladies, Ladies, I see it as your boyfriends are actually using "want to buy you an expensive ring" as an excuse of why he doesn't really want to tell you that he isn't quite ready yet. You guys should just sit back and live your lives without the stress of wondering whether or not you are married.....and most importantly, stop having his children until you do get married.

never got a diamond here either was just happy to be with him . I think after 4 years if he really wanted to married you would be. i wish you luck

Look I've been married for 11 years to my bestfriend. We've been through alot of ups and downs financially. Many times I had to sell my rings. Today and during our hardtimes it has only made us stronger. My love for my husband is what I carry in my soul...not on my finger. Tell your boyfriend that it's only symbolic. The fact that you have a child together and he joined you along with your other children says alot about your boyfriend..What a nice guy. If a ring means that much to him, go with him a pick out a reasonable one from K-mart..I'm not making a mockery out of it either.. A ring is a ring. I feel the same way about a ring as you do. Wanna hear something cool? For my 11th wedding anniversary, my husband and I had tattoo rings put on our fingers..that way I never have to hock another ring. Ha! ha!...I take this love I feel with me forever and can never lose it..and even if you buy one and lose it?, it means nothing...love forever and stay real like you seem to be.

well diane, your not getting any younger,so my advice to you is to buy an engagement ring set. for less thean five hundred dollars you can get an entire set that comes with an engagement ring for you and two weddings for both you and him.don't wait for him anymore , propose to him and set a date;or you can pick out an inexpensive ring and just keep raving about it ,even get family members involved in telling him on what a perfect ring it is in hopes that he'll get it for you.good luck!!!!

Find the ring yourself, snap a photo and give it to your man(of course the ring will be within your budget). And reassure him that this is the ring you want.
I do not even wear my e-ring gets in the way! I wear only my simple gold band. And I would not have it any other way.
Good Luck!
M.

Well D. I dont think anyone can give you any advice that will be helpful. I too was in the same situation. I did eventually get him to get me any old ring since I too believed that it was more about being married then about the ring. However he had to come to it on his own and the truth is that it took 9 years for him to come around. The more I bothered him to more he waited. I would have to say that if you are happy in your relationship then let it be and it wil happen faster then you know. As long as you love each other and he is good to you a piece of paper. I am now married 4 years and the truth is it does not feel any different. Once you live together you are married in my opinion. I wish you the best and I hope that you get what you are looking for. I would have to say that all you can do is continue to love him and honor him and his feelings on getting you the ring that he wants to get you. This will make him feel like he did the right thing. Again GOOD LUCH>

I don't mean to sound bitchy, but I'll tell you what I would tell my own daughter (who's 20). Many men want everything without commitment. If you're living together he can definitely marry you, if not, move on. I'd hold out for the expensive ring, though. "It's the thought that counts" applies to many gifts, this ain't one of them. Engagement, it's the size that counts. Show me JUSt how much you love me, baby. That's my opinion! (yep, if I sound jaded, I am! LOL)

Wow, D.. I'm going through the same exact thing!

When I got pregnant my boyfriend started ring shopping immediately. I told him I didn't want to get married only because I was pregnant. It was important to me that he was madly in love and happy to get married because we were in romantic bliss and committed to each other. I refuse to have a shot gun wedding.

Well, now, 3 years later, I'm still waiting on a ring. He said he has one picked out and it costs 9k. yes, 9k. I told him its ridiculous. I assured him I'm more than happy with a gem stone considering TRADITIONALLY AND ORIGINALLY gem stones were given as engagment rings. It was the jeweler, DaBeers, who marketed their diamonds in the 40's as engagement rings and since then it has been the standard.

I assured him that for our 10th or 15th anniversary he can get me the mother of all rings. But, I really feel we should be married before our perfect son realizes I'm just his daddy's baby momma.

I think all we can do is wait or leave. I've already told him that once our son realizes we're not married, I have to make the decision of leaving. I feel it will humiliate him. And, I'm sick of constantly explaining my last name is different from sons. And, I'm sick of people asking 'So, when are you gonna get hitched?' It's such a dumb question.

There's nothing we can do girl. Good luck!