I am looking for some help with my DD. She is almost 21 months and seems so bored. She wanders around the house, but never really stops to do anything engaging. I ask her to do play-doh, read books, kick the ball, color, etc. All she says is, NO! Then I get on the floor and start doing these activities, and she still doesn't seem interested. I don't know if she needs more stimulation or what I am doing wrong. Most of her day is spent caring for her baby doll, but I want to be more involved with her play. We take walks and go to playdates once a week, but I still feel like she is bored. Please help!
ETA: She is very verbal, speaking in 6-7 word sentences, but never tells me what she wants to do.
Sounds like she would like to be outside more. The nice weather is here so you should be outside with her everyday. Take her to a playground. She
might just enjoy playing by herself when you are home together. She likes
playing with her baby doll, so join in that activity. There is so much you can
do with that. Maybe find a playgroup in the area so she can play with other
children.
I guess I have a few ideas...
One, it could just be a phase. She might genuinely want to play with her doll, etc. (Right now my two year old ONLY WANTS to watch Berenstain Bears. We are not a huge TV watching family, but this is ALL she wants to do!! I am so frustrated...I try to get her to read with me, color, play toys, etc...I am actually relieved that right now she's playing Barbies with her sister.)
On a less positive note, if this is not a recent phase but an ongoing thing, you may need to have her tested for something on the autism spectrum. I hate to put it out there so bluntly, but disinterest (especially if it's really ongoing and as severe as you make it sound) is often a key sign of many autism disorders, regardless of whether or not the child is verbal.
Then again, she's only 21 months old. Like I said first (because it's probably the case) it's just a phase. :)
Follow her lead-- if most of her day is spent caring for her baby doll, make that your focus and expand on it. it's nice that you are offering her other options, but if she's not interested she's not interested. Get more accessories and toys for her doll, have creative projects that focus on that -- Build her doll some baby toys out of recycled boxes and color them? Make play dough baby food to feed to the doll? Read to the baby? Take baby to the park and push her in the baby swing? It's absolutely OK for her to be laser focused on one type of play, and you can find plenty of ways to use other types of learning/skill sets with the baby doll as the focus. Meet her where she is and try not to worry too much!
She's still little. I don't think she's bored. I do think you need to get out of the house more, if the playdate is the only fun outing you do each week. What about outside time? Park time? A mom & me class? Gymboree? Story time at the library or book store?
Could it be she is overstimulated and there is too much being offered, going on etc?
She is still a bit young to put together "what do you want to do? "
Instead set up activities.
In day care they would be out side in the morning.. on the playground with the play scape.. the trikes and cars.. This is for about an hour and a half.
snack
Then they would have a craft project inside. Maybe 15 minutes. total, clean up some free play inside in the different play centers. .. then lunch..
Then a quiet story as they are first laying down for their naps..
Nap..
Wake up, snack..
learning activity.. like playing with letters, stringing beads, building things with blocks, leggos , sponge stamping.. Then some inside play and then outside till they are picked up..
Every day this is how it would go.. The activities change a little. some new things are brought in each week.. Like a sand table or the water play.. or Giant balls on the playground.
Learning songs while they are playing.
If they are learning about colors.. they will have a week devoted to a few colors..
If they are learning shapes, animals, family.... then the activities reflect this.
Also at this age, many children like to be a little helper.. "Please help mommy take these towels to the laundry room.. Thank you.."
"Please help mommy tear this lettuce for salad.. Thank you."
"Please help me put these books on the shelves."
When making the bed.. let her sit on the bed while you pretend to make the bed with her under the sheet.
When planting flowers.. let her have her own space to play in the dirt give her some plastic garden tools..
Get some big boxes and use them outside like blocks.. or let her crawl through them like a tunnel.. or let her color on it.
Her behavior is normal.. remember.. her attention span is only about 2 minutes at the most.. she can flit around to 4 different things in just a few minutes.
If she doesn't need or want you to be more involved in her play, then leave her alone.
My kids play by themselves all the time. They have very active imaginations, etc. and I think I got in the way of their play!
In short, your daughter sounds perfectly normal to me,but I do think you need to get out more, if you are only taking her places once a week. I try to make sure we do something big (the zoo, a muesum) once or twice a week, and then two days of parks or playgroups. We then have three days of whatever (the library, just hanging out)...It's all about exploring at this age. When my daughter was a toddler, we lived at the park --went both in the morning and afternoon!
I agree with those who've already suggested making sure she's getting enough activity away from home. I have one other suggestion... if you aren't already doing this, try rotating the toys/books/games that she can access. We have certain activities that we keep solely for times when we need our little one to be engaged (think car trips, church, etc.) and even limit the ones she can play with at home. Every week or two, I put away some things and get out others. This always results in a flurry of activity since the toys are "new" and interesting again. I have even thought about a toy swap with families who have children of similar ages, but I haven't tried it yet - would be a great way to double the activities without doubling the cost (or overstimulating, since we have to give away to get in return).
That sounds boring to me! Make an effort to do something fun, even if it's just the park every day. Can you join a mommy and me group? Gymoboree was great for my son at this age. Does she ever engage you or want to do things with you?
