My Three Years Old Daughter Says Almost Everyday Let's Pretend I Am a Boy?

My daughter played that often for a few months. She stopped doing it after a while and moved on to a different character. It's just make believe, it's good for them to use their creativity and imagination.

Mine pretended to be a cat everyday, then for a long while it was unicorn...my guess is it is just a phase...

If she is transgendered then it will become more and more pronounced. If she is typical in a few weeks or months she will want to to pretend she is something else...

Three is an age of make-believe.

She's probably just fascinated with her older step brother.

But I think it's time to introduce her to some strong female role-models. She should not equate boy=strong, girl=weak and clumsy.

Personally I think this is yet another homework assignment but I will bite...

No, well of course my opinion, but no, children as young as two or three do not have gender identity crisis, their parents do. Sorry but I haven't read a single case where the parents weren't pushing the transgender.

I am so glad I am 45 because god knows some parents would have had me having a sex change at five! I didn't want to wear shirts, I only wanted to wear boy clothes and dammit if I could figure out how to pee on a bush I sure as hell would have done it! Boys have it good! Shirts and skins, we can't do it, dresses fly up over our heads when we hang from trees, don't even get me started on the convenience of having a built in hose to pee with!

I have met plenty of women like me who have raised plenty of girls like me and none of us ended up transgender! All of us just realized they boys have the cool toys.

So what?
Boy stuff is cool and pink is gross.
Jeans don't get in the way of climbing, hanging upside down, turning cartwheels, and running the way skirts and dresses do.
Boys can get away with being gross and people think it's cute 'boy will be boys'.
At least that's the way I felt growing up.
I was a complete tom boy.
I built my own tree house by the time I was 7 (with a girl friend of mine who was a year older).
I still got married to my husband and we have our son.
I would not leap to any conclusions that pretending to be a boy means that she is transgender.
Stop worrying!

My son pretends he is a train everyday. Pretty sure he's not going to start blowing steam out his head.

Listen, this is normal. You do NOT need to try to label your child trans anything. This is a phase, and if it's not...there's nothing you can do about it, other then love and accept your child. Let this go, don't make it a thing.

Goodness gracious, you've answered your own questions. She is obsessed with her step brother who visits a couple times a month. He's not around every day, so she pretends to be like him. Just let her play and don't try to analyze everything that comes out of a 3 year old's mouth. Next week she'll want to be a puppy. It won't mean she's trans-specied.

I agree with the Ped. If I were you, I'd just ignore this. Bless her heart, she's wrong about boys never falling down. She just doesn't understand that.

Please put aside ths gender identigy crisis thought. If you keep thinking about this, you're going to push this off on your daughter.

I think this is "hero worship". It's about her big brother. She is very young and he is so amazing in her eyes. Think about it for a while, his 12 years to her 3. He is so big and so perfect. Tall and strong.

How much time does he spend with her? Does he play well, actually seem to like her? These things can have a big impact on her and her future dealings with other males.

To help, you can talk to him. See how he feels about his sister. See if he's willing to dedicate an hour a day, when he's with you, to be with her. Let that be her "boy time".

I think all is fine. Just love for her brother. :)

There's nothing wrong with your daughter pretending. She's even expressed to you that she knows she's a girl and WHY she's pretending to be a boy. Perhaps if you start teaching her that girls are just as strong as boys and everyone does fall down she will realize that while it's fun to pretend it's also wonderful that she's a strong girl.

There's nothing to worry about, so stop worrying and start teaching. Teach your daughter to be proud of who she is. Teach her about what it means to be a human being. Show her just how men and women are equally as strong and weak as one another. I realize she's only 3 so this will always need to be an ongoing lesson.

I've seen this in reverse as well, when I was a nanny and worked with at least 4 families where a younger sibling might have emulated or 'identified' as the opposite gender. Those older brothers and sisters are very powerful role models. Kids might even get a bit stubborn "No, I am a boy!" and they also need us to be completely convinced that they really are who they are.

The fact that she is able to voice that she is 'pretending' to be a boy suggests you don't have a lot to worry about in this regard. The sibling hero-worship is something special, let them enjoy it and I would encourage you to enjoy it as well. Hopefully, they will be close as they grow up and he won't just turn into a 'boring, stupid boy' when she is older.

Holy cow. She is 3 years old.! She probably just likes boys be ause they run wild lol. Why are you even thinking transgender. Just let her be and enjoy her childhood. I am so glad that back I. The 70s we just raised our kids. We didn't need books nor did we worry about who had friends, who didn't, what boys played with dolls, girls with trucks etc. throw the books away and let her be who she wants to be on any given day!!!

My son believes he is a steam engine. He's two. This is what kids do, they imagine and make believe. There is no reason for you to think your daughter is transgendered. I have never met a child who didn't pretend to be the opposite sex for some period of time.

Show your daughter that girls are strong, brave, capable, etc.-all the "masculine" traits, and stop emphasizing beauty and femininity to her. She is a complete little person. There is nothing wrong or strange about her behavior.

With regard to dresses, why does she need to wear them?

I think people throw around "transgender" WAAAAY too early!

Most kids don't even fully understand the differences between boys and girls until they are older, and getting closer to puberty. Before that, it is pretty much about style and the ability to do certain things. I had a friend who was convinced her 6 year old was transgender, because she kept saying she wanted to be a boy and dressing in boy's clothes. Turned out, she associated boys with football... And she wanted to play football. Now she is 16, and is quite the girly girl. (Who plays football on her high school team. Lol.)

So, while transgender kids DO exist... I think most of the time it is in the parent's head, or born of a child's desire to dress/ be allowed to act outside the gender stereotypes assigned to them. Then the parents make SUCH a big deal out of catering to the "difference" that the child simply accepts it as their reality.

So don't make a big deal out of it. Just let her pretend however she wants. Maybe (most likely) she will grow out of it, maybe she won't. Just quietly accept the age-appropriate decisions she makes, and follow her lead as far as her gender identity goes.

FWIW, I REFUSED to wear dresses, lace, or other girly clothes until I hit high school. I was ALL tomboy, and used to pretend I was a boy all the time... I also used to pretend my brothers were girls (and most of the time, they played along. Lol)

99% of the time, this is simple "pretend" and wanting to pretend to be the opposite gender is not different than pretending to be something else she has little or no chance of becoming: a superhero, an astronaut, a princess, a lion, a dragon, a butterfly, a prima ballerina, a billionaire, or a turtle. But this one is alarming you, I suspect because you want to be prepared for any major identity issue. It's good that you are being sensitive, but you are also working to try to remind her she's a girl, and you take pains to say she is "feminine" and "beautiful" which puts a kind of pressure on her about what a girl is or isn't. You make a point of saying she needs to wear dresses sometimes and you sometimes don't let her wear pants. So we all need to think about what it is that defines us as girls/women.

I agree with what others have posted, that girls who like trucks and superheroes and who hate pink and dress-up are somehow a matter of concern to us. We give pink gifts or blue gifts, or go to yellow for those pesky couples who don't reveal the gender of the child. There are separate sections in the clothing stores, but when you get right down to it, why aren't things just sorted by "dresses" and "overalls" and "construction theme" and "animal theme"??? A friend of mine had a little boy who was ridiculed for liking a pink binky and purple swim goggles. Poor guy. Same things happens to little boys who want to wear mommy's high heels or nail polish - you'll see all those concerns on Mamapedia as well.

Your daughter admires her big stepbrother, which is common in kids who have an older sibling or cousin who visits but doesn't live there all the time. And she may already have picked up on the fact that boys (and men) get to do a lot of fun things that people think are ridiculous for girls/women. Hell, maybe she wants to get paid for her work instead of 79 cents on the dollar! Maybe she thinks mowing lawns is cool. Maybe football looks like fun to her. Maybe she's just incredibly imaginative and wants to explore being something really far from where and who she is.

Let her be who she is. Don't try to "correct" her and make sure she knows she is pretending. If she's transgender (or lesbian or bisexual or anything else), she needs a soft place to fall and a parent she can talk to - and hopefully she will come to you rather than suffering in silence fearing she won't be accepted by her loved ones or by others.

Try harder to enjoy her without worrying. Worry about her crossing the street safely and wearing a bike helmet and getting enough sleep. If you are too busy researching things, you'll miss so much joy in the moment. If you have to do anything when she talks about pretending to be a boy, ask how things are different for boys. Explore society's expectations but on her level, probing and asking questions. Why can't boys wear nail polish? Why do girls have to wear dresses (or do they)? Is it more important to dress for the occasion in terms of formality or casual style rather than specifically in dresses? I remember my mother making me a suit for school (really - jacket and skirt!!) and what a horrible time I had running around the playground in a skirt with a small pleat in the back. Ugh! Girls took home ec and boys got to take cool stuff like shop! turns out the guys wanted to cook and the girls wanted to make lamps.

Be open to questions like, Can boys be cheerleaders and girls be football players? Why or why not? Not all the time, mind you - but when the subject comes up and as she gets older, questioning stereotypes can be important in personal growth. Can dads stay home with kids while moms work? Can 2 parents work and still love their children? In our house, I'm mowing the lawn while my husband does the laundry. (And that's pretty basic stuff.) What about women in the military, men teaching elementary or preschool?

I mean, really, we can make ourselves crazy with all the assumptions we make and assume are facts and requirements. You have a great opportunity to explore with her, and to open new doors for her that were not open to you as a child. Go with it!!

She's 3 and playing pretend. I wouldn't be concerned.

Girls are strong too. Barbie has had pretty much every job out there. :-) And women are among the ranks of the most successful people in the world. :-) "Being a woman is about more than having a pretty face."

http://www.forbes.com/2009/03/05/barbie-careers-jobs-busi...

OK...my gut tells me that it's a phase...she's 3 and she idolizes he older step-brother, who, yes, happens to be a boy

Granted, I don't have much experience w/ transgender but if it makes you feel better talk to her pedi next time you go in...

BTW: just a note from experience, I was born a girl and 50 years later I still am and am perfectly content as such...however, I am much more comfie in pants and have no use for dresses and pantyhose but will wear them when appropriate so I can relate to your daughter's dress habits....

Good luck

Don't borrow trouble and assign issues where there are none.

I like to ponder being a superhero on occasion but it doesn't mean I'm going to jump off the roof.

My 2nd son wanted very badly to be a girl at age 3. He had no sisters. He grew out of it, even if he hadn't I wouldn't have done anything different. We played along, never made a big deal about it, but he did love fairy wings so I bought him a couple of pairs of them. Six months later he changed his mind. It didn't make him "normal", there is no such thing. He is who he is, a heterosexual male that is now 15 and is interested in girls. Had he grown up to be a drag queen, that would have been awesome, too. But normal? As a former punk rocker from the 80s, I never wanted my kids to be "normal".

She is 3.
Developmentally, this is the time they do LOTS of pretend play.
They are not stuck, on "roles" like older kids or adults.
They don't have total comprehension of abstract, concepts. They don't even have an sense of "identity" yet. Their emotions are not even fully developed yet.
AND she is OBSESSED with her older Step Brother.
Okay.
There you go.
Young children, OFTEN idolize, older, kids. They are into "heroes" and such. Normal.

But she also says that boys are strong and they do not fall down.
Okay.
RIGHT now, from this age onward, teach her that it does not matter if a person is a boy or girl... a girl can do anything, too.
Girls are strong, too. Inwardly and physically.
This is not a transgender issue.
It is about... a little 3 year old child... making inferences. Based on her little 3 year old mind and imagination.
But, kids this age, do not have, fully developed deductive or inductive thinking processes yet.
And their world, is of, pretend play.
And your daughter thinks of her Step Brother as a "hero" of sorts.
Maybe, get your daughter some hero type toy figures.
Or just toy character figures etc. to play with and pretend play with.
Both my kids (I have a boy and girl) loved those things from that age.
Ya know: Superman figures, or those animal toy figures etc.

Read this article as well because it is all tied in:
http://stage30.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=679

Please, do not get hung up on finding a label to fit your daughter into.
Just teach her to be herself, and to learn (both of you), what her interests and talents, are.
I have a boy and girl, and they BOTH played with opposite gender toys, too and did TONS of pretend play. They still do.

When I was a kid, my late Dad taught his daughters... that they can be and do ANYTHING. Both "men" and "women" things.
And we did. And do.
And he taught us to be strong. Capable. Not just wearing dresses and prancing around. We wore shorts and pants, and t-shirts, got dirty and muddy, and made pretend swords with old pieces of wood, and played in the forest in the back of our house. We OFTEN wore jeans. Why does a girl only have to wear, dresses????
And ALL kids, go through MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY phases.

Being feminine and beautiful and a girl, does not mean, they have to dress and act, like they are made of china and prance around and play dolly. They can wear, pants & jeans. They don't always wear dresses.

Congratulations, it's a boy!

You'll need to get him the surgery asap. In fact, you should call your doctor and set up an appointment right now.

Just a phase. Kids also like to pretend they're dogs, cats, wizards, etc.

Sounds like she is obsessed with her 12-year old brother and wants to be like him. Perfectly normal. She's only three, I wouldn't worry and just go along with her playing. Many young kids get role models and want to be like them. I think I wanted to be a male Samurai for a long time and I dressed up like one every day.

She may have tom boy tendencies. No worries. I think transgender kids are pretty rare. You sound like you have an imaginative little girl on your hands. Just go with it!

Doesn't sound like she is trans - just becoming aware of differences between boys and girls.

My son wanted to be a girl every day at that age. Until he was 5 or 6 he always pretended he was a girl. He really loved the females in his life and looked up to them. He didn't like how boy characters in movies were tough or fought or were "mean". He is now just all boy, gets crushes on girls at school, loves the skatepark, soccer, and video games. My guess is this is a normal 3 yr old phase.

It seems normal to me. She seems to already sense that males are the stronger sex and wants to be strong...like her big brother. Some girls just don't like dresses (I didn't when in school, my mom, mil, aunts, and cousins don't either).

Maybe she just doesn't want to be treated like a girly girl.

I think you said it in your post - she is obsessed with her step brother and probably wants to be like him.

I also really think it is way too early to start making these types of assumptions.

If you want to show her that boys are not always stronger than girls, have her watch "Naked and Afraid." On every episode I have seen (about 4 of them) the WOMEN have been the strong ones; those men would not have made it without the women. btw, they don't show any of the nakedness so nothing inappropriate for her viewing.

If you truly have fears that if this is a transgender child you want to "handle with care" then I would bring this up with a medical professional. I think you should give her time, but I am also not a parent of a transgender child, nor have I had a transgender friend that I can consult on this topic. I do think, however, that if I suspected my son may be a transgender that I would seek the guidance of a medical professional.

She's too young to worry about this. If she's still pretending to be a boy at 6, you can start wondering if she's transgender. Until then, it's normal 3 year old behavior.

Nothing wrong with it, but you might want to read to her from a book like this:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0393045986/ref=redir_mdp_mo...

Strong women are all around!!

Keep breathing, M. S. My granddaughter that age has pretended to be a boy, a mama, a daddy, a dog, a cat, a number of characters from children's TV programs, and several other things.

Three-year-olds can be obsessed with their clothes, too. They have to be just right for their moods, I think!

If she's pretending to be strong (and "upstanding"?) from watching her stepbrother or some other male, there's nothing wrong with that. She'll learn that girls have those qualities, too.

The reason the pretending is a big deal with them is because at that age they haven't hardened the lines of differentiation between real and pretend. That's why they can have so much fun.

It's not time to worry. A few years ago my friend's little girl insisted on wearing boy clothes... for years - this was when she was in elementary school. She had a "boyish" haircut (that is, straight and simple) and didn't want anything to do with the fussy or girly in her clothing or in her activities. She has grown into a lovely, charming young woman whose fashion taste runs to the classic, and who is 100% female.

FWIW, I have a transgender friend. He lives today as a male and I've known him since he was an 8 year old girl. We are now both in our 40's. Even as kids he would tell us he was a boy. He did not suggest that we "pretend", he just always claimed to be a boy. He acted like a boy, kept his hair short and had some mighty fights with his mother about how to dress We lost touch for many years after my family moved away, but when our paths crossed again I was not at all surprised to find out the truth. Because it was obvious, even back in the 70's when "alternative lifestyles" were not to be talked about.

If your daughter is transgender, or gay, or strait, or... it will be obvious. Just let her be who she is, even if she is not who you want her to be. Don't judge her, or criticize her. Love and support her and let her know it's OK to be who she is. And try not to worry, because it won't help, and it won't change anything, but it will eventually start to effect your heath and well being. And it could effect the relationship you have with your daughter.

My son wants us to pretend to be saber tooth cats most days. Some days mongooses. But saber tooth cats a lot. I am not worried that he thinks he is a saber tooth cat. I would not worry that your daughter wants to pretend. I would make sure you are showing her that women are strong as well. I hope you are reading books with strong female protagonists and that she knows women are athletes, scientists, astronauts, doctors, physicists and soldiers as well as nurses, teachers and mommies. I hope she also sees men who are nurses and teachers as well. BTW - boys fall down all the time - at least mine does.