My Sons Last Year at Home! :( Entering the Military.

For boot camp especially just send letters. If his was anything like mine, he will have to do pushups for every letter he gets, but it's SO NICE getting letters. No one wrote me, it SUCKED.

His AIT (Advanced Individual Training) I think will depend. The one I went to was 4 months long. We could have small care packages with cookies and small things like that. Remember, he'll be sharing living space with other people, and space is VERY limited.

I just want to say please tell your son thank you for protecting my family and thank you to you for your sacrifice as his mom.

First can you thank your son for making such a brave decision.

As far as making things special I'd say just keep things business as usual. Do whatever you usually do for holidays. Those are the memories your son will take with him.

Once he gets out of basic training send him a package of his favorite stuff. After that have him give you suggestions on what he needs to remind him of home. Set up skype sessions (I do this with my brother in Australia) and shoot off texts and emails to let him know what's going on at home.

I think one thing you can do is help him research the benefits of being in the military. So many benefits are there for our military personnel, but young people just don't always go looking for them. They don't read what they're given and they take a lot for granted. They also don't always map out their futures very well without help.

Sit down with him and talk about real life issues such as credit. SO many young military people decide to leave base housing and get an apartment or buy a car. They don't have a clue about compounding interest and contracts. They also don't know that businesses LOVE to sell something to our soldiers on credit because they know that the military will MAKE the soldiers pay their bill, even if the interest is up in the stratosphere, and even if the car is a lemon.

Some branches of the service will allow an enlisted person to move to officer ranks if they get their college degree (Army at least). Help him find out if that's a possibility in the branch he has chosen. Help him find an online class that will transfer to a regular university (he has to be careful not to get in a program that doesn't transfer.) This way he has flexibility to work on his studies while he is serving. It will also give him something constructive to do other than go party with the other enlisted guys during his down time.

Talk to him about appropriate sexual behavior and ways to say no to what he's going to see others do. Teach him about how to prevent pregnancy and not allowing his partner to handle all the details of birth control. He needs to use condoms every single time even if she is using birth control. You will have to understand that pretending that he won't become "a man" is not going to help him.

Lastly, though this sounds kind of strange, try to think things that he might misunderstand. Young people sometimes just don't have the experience to think some things through. An example I'll give you is a family member who went into the service. She thought that military drivers were exempt from the rules for driving in the HOV lane. When the policeman pulled her over and she told him she didn't have to have 3 people in the car because she was military, he made her get out of the car and walk all the way down to the sign (it was quite a ways too) and read it out loud to her. He asked her "Does it say anything about military on that sign?" She was pissed, but she learned the lesson.

How do I know about these things I'm telling you about? That same kid with the HOV story made mistake after mistake with her credit, buying a lemon car over 20% interest, same thing with furniture that broke because of her friends sleeping on it (long before it was paid off) and all other kinds of messes. She also had a baby by her douchebag CO. I'll never forget talking to her about it and her saying "But I luv him!!!" The military took out child support from his paycheck for the rest of the time he was in the service. If your son makes the mistake of not being careful, he'll be in the same boat.

I know you are excited and proud of your son. I'm proud for you both. Both me and my husband have military service in our families. Other posters are giving you different kinds of advice. I offer this not to put a damper on your joy, but to help you help him have a more successful time during his military tour.

There is not much you can do as far as basic training goes. They aren't allowed visitors for 6-8 weeks phone calls and letters occasionally. After basic it's either school or they get stationed somewhere normally it's school and then they get orders. Some times it's close to home others it's across the country or sometimes across the world. I know people who are stationed in Japan Florida and Arizona. It also depends on branch as well and what he plans to do in that branch marine is one of the hardest there is. They are very strict. My Sil married a marine they are currently stationed in Arizona. I know for marines if he is his father's Only son he will not be deployed somewhere dangerous. Not sure about other branches though.

Take lots of videos in addition to pictures. Start a journal about his last year at home. Make up a 100 question list. 1. What's your favorite color? 2. Who is your best friend? 3. What's your favorite holiday? Etc.

This will help you get to know him from his own words. Blessings.

During basic training ... not much to send except letters.

After basic ... it'll depend on what he's going to specialize in. Some fields have a lower turnover rate and take MUCH longer to get to the schooling for. It could be anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of years.

The length of the school will depend again on what he's going to specialize in. But during school standard cookie/toiletries/letters/etc type care packages are great.

Once he's done with and/or between basic and school ... personalized travel mugs that seal well (one or two), socks, underwear, toothpaste, toothbrushes, entertainment items (movies, books, magazines, music, etc ... be aware though that depending on where he ends up there may or may not be some HEAVY restrictions on what he can and can't have as far as movies and magazines go ... the middle east in particular), and of course cookies are always appreciated. Toilet paper, decent coffee (several of the larger coffee chains have programs that donate coffee to troops overseas that you can participate in), I would suggest soda pop also but I'm not sure how well those ship in general ... I know my husband craved his favorite kind when he was on ship.

As for what to do for his last year at "home" ... if he wasn't going into the military what would you have done? Taken lots of pictures, lots of video's and treated the major events for what they are. Do that :) He's going to have enough anxiety over this on his own ... he doesn't need you treating this as anything more than him moving out and getting a job.

During basic only send letters. Once he is in AIT or Tech school (you don't mention the branch) then care packages are more okay, but they still (at least when I was army) can not keep food/candy in their rooms, so I would wait until he lets you know what he needs/wants and can keep. Once he is at his duty station then, even if overseas, he should be able to find everything he needs either local or on base/post.

Geneva makes a great suggestion...work with him on money management! Best of luck for your son! My husband has been active duty for 15 years--it's been good for our family:)

Doris Day has excellent advice.

I'll add one related idea. Your son is going to be managing his own money. Before he leaves home, make sure he understands banking, checking accounts in particular. My husband was career military, and he has told me numerous tales of new enlistees who get themselves in trouble simply by not understanding how to read a bank statement, direct deposit, debit cards, required minimum balances, fees, ATM charges, and overdrafts.

And as Doris mentions, he needs to be well-coached and wary about offers of credit of any kind.

1. Find a support group for military parents.
2. Join you local (or as close to local) Blue Star Mothers chapter.
Why? You will need all the support you can get during enlistment. You will need to vent and air you concern to someone outside the family. Your son needs you to be his life line and this WILL get hard for you. Especially during deployment. And you will go months without hearing his voice.

3. MONEY MANAGEMENT! This will be huge. Talk about it now, set budgets now, set up an account with him now (1 parent should be co-owner).

Not saying this to upset you, just speaking from experience. My son is currently in year 2 of a 6 year enlistment and has already completed 1 deployment.

These groups will help you with any questions you have about care packages, OPSEC, and several other things that will cross your mind.

Ask you son what he wants, its what I did. I gave him what he wanted and left it at that. Because let's face it, while we want to make special memories, as moms it's really more important to us than them at that age. If he says sure, go all out, do whatever - then do so. If he says let's just keep it normal and low key - then do that.