We have agreed as a family that the best option for my 17yo SS is the military. We are looking specifically at the National Guard's split option training program, where SS would go to basic training this summer after his junior year, train one weekend a month through his senior year, then finish his training after senior year. As a National Guardsman I believe there are college incentives as well (if he is able to get in -- not looking good). He is at a point where basic training could literally save his entire future (long story), and we are worried about delaying that for another year. I have seen the positive life changes enlisting meant for other young men in my family and we all want the same for SS. But what I am reading is that if he commits to the National Guard now, it will be difficult for him to then switch over to full-time duty if that becomes his choice after high school.
I'm wondering if any of you have experiences with this program, or have children in other branches and could share your experience. Thank you!
I appreciate all your advice and opinions. SS's story is long and complicated. He is not a bad kid or on drugs or a criminal. I am not going to detail everything we have done to get him motivated in life. It is an exhaustive list spanning ten years; we spend more time parenting him than any other child at any age. We have given him countless opportunities (things he chose, that went untaken or abandoned), consistent consequences, counseling, school evaluations, and even doctors, etc. etc. At this point SS is old enough to understand that he himself has made the choices that are precluding him from getting into college. He does not have the confidence his friends have; he has never truly worked to accomplish anything, never done anything even remotely difficult or worked hard to see something through. He is definitely deep into a pattern of inaction he is unable to break, we are unable to inspire him to break, and that we all agree the military will break quickly. He admits that without college as a goal, he has no drive to do anything but slide through senior year. He sees the military as a chance to do something of great value while getting himself together -- a process he wants to start sooner than later. He also knows that despite his track record, he can contribute to society in the military, just like many of his relatives do everyday -- much more so than he would working at a job that just pays the bills. It's actually a pretty mature realization for him to come to, in my opinion. So no, we are not dumping our problem off on the military or using it as discipline. Actually they will be getting a kid who has all the potential in the world -- he just needs help unlocking it.
I signed up at 17, independent studied my Sr. Year in 3 months over the summer (sitting in the recruitment office for most of it), and left for bootcamp (AD USMC) in the fall.
My husband is a former active duty Marine and now is currently a National Guard reservist. He agreed that if he signs on as a Guardsman he will have a very difficult time switching to active duty.
We did not do this, but you can look into Junior ROTC programs in other branches. I used Young Marines with one of my foster kids. There was little real commitment, but he was younger than 17. But it beat the pants off of scouting for a tough kid.
Be wary of recruiters they will lie, but go ahead and call them for information. There are tons of options. If he is heading into senior year they can do lots of ROTC programs with a commit to enlist (that has more outs than many people realize and it is sometimes best to minimize for the teen involved)
There are lots of reasons to question a parent who pushes their kid into the military (and you may get these criticisms here or IRL) but there are also many things that the military can do to actually save a kid on a really bad path long enough for him to grow up. I encourage Air Force due to their much lower rate of actual combat involvement. But, they are not as strict and they have higher standards. I could talk about this for hours so feel free to PM me if you like.... Do lots of research! Make the choices that are best for your family under your circumstances. Good luck!
that is exactly what my oldest did, except she went to basic after graduation, did her weekends during her freshman year at college, and finished her training the summer between freshman and sophomore year. I don't have a lot of information about switching over full time, but his recruiter should have that information.
Michelle:
Have him check into the ROTC program at his high school. Some are REALLY good.
To the best of my knowledge, those who start out as NG - have a hard time going AD (active duty). If he's got good grades, have him apply to the military academy's - being an officer is better pay than enlisted. However, I'm thinking that's not his case, right?
I've been on both sides - officer and enlisted so I speak from experience. I also have a girlfriend who used to work for my husband as an Airman (A1C) and now she's a Lt Colonel. She did the Boot Strap program that paid for her college and she now holds a Masters and is working on her Doctorates.
If you know people who are AD - have them talk to him about their personal experiences in the service. For some, they left after 4 years. For some - they made it a way of life and a career.
go with him to recruiters - do NOT let him sign ANYTHING. Just to get a feel for what they offer and why he should select that service. The best place really would be to start with the ROTC program at the high school.
When my cousin enlisted in the Marines, they met with an attorney and a recruiter to make sure that he was locking himself "into" or "out of" any opportunities. The situation is a little different in that he did 2 years of community college (decent grades) and decided that he just wasn't ready for a 4 year commitment.
For him, this was a great decision. He's now a Navy Seal, which just blows my mind sometimes. His maturity and commitment are amazing, but it was HIS choice, not something he was pushed into by my aunt or uncle.
You're talking about a career choice here (at 17), not "military school" to straighten out his behavior. BIG difference.
My husband is a retired Marine, he went from enlisted to officer.
My son is a Navy Petty Officer, he's been in 4 years.
Like Cheryl said look into his JROTC program at school.
He can enlist now into any one of the services, you just have to sign the paper saying that you know he is enlisting at 17
He will be a DEPPER, delayed enlistment, so he will go to boot after he graduates.
He meets weekly with his recruiter to do PT and military drills
He can go in after taking the GED, but he has to wait a set amount of time, I think it's 12 months.
There are military schools in Kansas, one starts in 7th grade so he would be a little old to start now.
If he goes NG there is little hope he will be able to get active duty.
I am all for sending all our men into the military.
The Navy saved my son's butt.
I know nothing about the military but it just seems like 17 is young to have him commit to something so dramatic. If he's troubled there are other options. It sounds like you want to use the National Guard at a teen boot camp for troubled kids.
From some of these posts it sounds like kids who have good grades and are driven have benefited from joining to gain an education or become an officier. If you son is "lost", don't you think he better find out what he wants in life before signing up for the military?
Throughout your post you say "we", it sort of sounds like you want a solution to the problem that is your SS. Maybe try to help him solve his problems before making such a huge life commitment. It's his life, not yours.
I hope that your stepson is serious about this. If not, it doesn't matter what you "as a family" have decided. The military is not something to force young people into to "fix" them.
That said, if he really wants to be in the military and turn his life around, go the active duty route.
College can wait until after he's served a couple of years and gotten his act together and learned some self-discipline. At that time, his high school grades shouldn't matter as much.
Please do not take this the wrong way (my oldest boy was a mess and a handful to deal with in High School), but when you say "we have agreed" who is the "we"? If your SS doesn't fully commit he won't make it through basic training and his options will be limited even more. My son did an honorary enlistment at 17 before his senior year (fully his choice). Within a few months, went back to his bad influences and partying ways. Short story is he didn't follow through and went off on his own. We couldn't force him to follow through and had to sit back and wait. Fast forward 4 years, he decided for himself that he really did need what the military could offer and enlisted. Right now he is about 3+ weeks into Basic training. If he hadn't decided this for himself, he would have already quit and come home.
I support the military and think for some kids it's the best thing they could ever do for themselves. My advice to you is talk to recruiters of every branch to explore every option and get things in writing (not just from the internet).
