My Son Wakes up During the Night So Many Time.

Updated on February 24, 2008
C.V. asks from Rancho Cordova, CA
12 answers

My son is 3 months old and he can't sleep through the night yet. He woke up so many time during night. He goes to bed at 9pm, woke up about 1 am, I have to rock him for 10 minutes then put him back to the crib. 2 hours later, he wake up and fussy again. I have to feed him then put him back to the crib. About 5 am, he is fussy again and I have to put him to my bed next to me so that he can sleep with me until 7am. What can I do to make him sleep straight through the night. Last night, I didn't want to feed him but he woke up almost every 2-3 hours and very fussy eventhough he slept next to me on my bed !!!! If anybody have experience about this, please give me some advice. I asks his pediatrician. He told us let him cry for a while before picking him up!!!

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H.F.

answers from Sacramento on

I just wanted to add that I have a 14 month old and he just started sleeping through the night consistently at 1 year. I didn't have the heart to let him cry it out so we would just go in there and pat his bum. 90% of the time he'd go back to sleep with this. Good luck and try to be patient. They sleep through the night in their own time, just like everything else :)

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Give yourself a hug! Wow, surprised the Dr didn't tell you that infants that age MUST feed every 2-3 hours to stay hydrated. It's also a great chance for your baby to bond with you because along with nurishment he'll learn comfort and trust from you responding to his needs. Babies who are responded to quickly are less likely to cry and showing them to suck on their hands teaches them how to comfort themselves and go back to sleep on their own when not thirsty. Pacifiers only fall out of their mouths and you'll have to assist, instead of them being able to easily find their own hands. Give yourself another hug! This time is hard on Moms because our sleep pattern is interrupted and we get less of the much needed REM sleep. What you do is snuggle down and sleep when baby sleeps. Ignore dishes and cleaning during this time for your own mental health. My daughter is four months old today and she is now sleeping 4-5 hours during the night, needing fewer feedings because she is a more efficent eater and I play and talk with her in between naps during the daytime to help her slowly learn that night time is for sleeping and daytime is playtime. PLEASE don't ignore your frustration - your body knows it is tired. I am concerned that you will "crash" and fall into such a heavy sleep that you will possibly loose track of your son while he is sleeping next to you. Unless you feel ultra confident, a co-sleeper or bassinet next to where you sleep is a safe alternative. I say this out of appreciation for your situation. Lastly, the best thing I have ever done for myself is say, "enough!" and have a friend watch baby with a bottle of my milk when I passed out for a full four hours. I awoke feeling like a goddess ready to take on the world. Wink.

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J.J.

answers from Sacramento on

You are going to get lots of advice from othe moms on this. I recently put a request in for the same thing. I am being told by everyone that it is a growthspurt and will be over soon. Hang in there and just go with your gut. You know what your child needs better than anyone.

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T.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My son nursed every 2 hours till he was 10months! Babies stomach's are only as big as their fist, they need to feed often, and the majority don't' sleep through the night at that age.

I would not recommend Babywise, Ezzo is not a Doctor, I think he's a Christian Minister or something of that sort... talking out his....! The American Academy Of Pediatrics is against his practices and calls them unsafe, you can google and find all kinds of articles that warn against him.. here's one:

http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

Here is a great article published by Harvard that I like to refer to..

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNe...

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L.I.

answers from Yuba City on

I totally agree with the lady that suggested Baby Wise, I have three children, two of which were sleeping through the night by about 2 month, and the third is just about there as he is just now 2 months. Anyway I love this book and recommend it to everyone. If you get it there is a section about starting late, meaning starting there ideas not right away at birth. I do really like the book, but remember you know your child best.

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a 14 month old son, and he woke up in the middle of the night until about a month ago. My pediatrician advised me to let him cry, but i didn't have the heart to do that, so he slept with me most of the time. But just try to nap as much as possible, It was really hard on me, especially being a single mother. i went back to work after 8 weeks so i tried to nap during lunch or whenever i had a chance. But just be patient, it gets easier.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

You must have a girlfriend whose baby sleeps through the night…some are lucky! My kids both woke 2-4 times a night till they were 9 months old. I even went through a period with one of my girls where she was getting up every hour for 3 nights in a row. Talk about exhausting!

You said when he wakes at 1am you are rocking him and then putting him back to sleep…does this mean you are not feeding him till he wakes again at 3? At 1 am he has already slept for 4 hours so probably has not eaten for 5. (You time feedings form the start of one to the start of the next.) That is a long time for a 3 mo old! If you are not feeding him till 3 am then he is going almost 7 hours without a meal. Guaranteed he is not getting enough to eat at 3 am to satisfy his empty tummy and waking two hours later because he is still hungry and your milk supply is not adequate to feed a VERY hungry baby. If you feed him at 1:00 then he will probably wake again at 4:00 or 5:00 then it is possible he will go back to sleep and sleep till 9:00. This is only two feedings in the night and will get you the rest you need to function during the day.

Eventually you can cut out that middle feeding but it is too early in his young hungry life right now <grin>. Don't hope for sleeping through the night, just be happy when it finally happens. And don't be surprised if he does get up more next month and then less the following month. Babies grow so rapidly in the first year of life that their schedules change about every three days.

Be patient and like the other lady said…take care of your self before the house and chores! There will be time for that later!

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S.B.

answers from Salinas on

I do believe it is quite common for a 3 month old not to sleep thru the night, especially if breastfeeding. I realize it's difficult on you as a parent, but hang in there. Our 13 month old son started sleeping thru the night around 5 months, yet still woke for a 3am feed, then again around 6am. About a month or so later, he dropped the 3am feed and slept until 6am. Longer sleep intervals do arrive, just be patient. I've spoken to many mothers who said their children didn't truly "sleep thru the night" until almost 4 or 5 years of age. Reason being, our children go thru developmental stages and well, waking up during the night is quite common...it's how we address the waking up at night (i.e. cry it out method, rock back to sleep, etc.). Our son currently goes to bed around 7:30pm and sleeps until 7am. He is a good sleeper and content in his crib, we lucked out. However, he has recently been experiencing some bedtime anxiety and yep, more teething, so waking up 2-3x per night is not uncommon when a child is going thru a stage. Sometimes he is able to put himself back to sleep and other times not. When all said and done, patience with sleep patterns and how we handle sleep disruption is key. As for the crying out method, it's not for everyone and well, for a 3 month old, seems a bit young to be using this method (in my opinion). We do let our son cry, but he's got 10 months on your lil' one. It's not easy to let them cry, but if we pick them up every time they cry, they will not learn how to soothe or work thru their own emotions. But again, your lil' one is still oh so very young...don't be afraid to pick him up. And before you know it, in just a few months you will be surprised how his sleep patterns will have changed and you will look back and say to yourself, "How did I ever make it thru this?" Well, that's what I experienced : ) Best wishes!

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

If you do not have the book "BabyWise," you may want to buy or borrow it. My older daughter would wake up every hour or two all night every night FOR A YEAR! Needless to say after that, there was no way I wanted more kids! I could barely function on so little sleep. Well, my husband talked me into another baby and I was so worried that I would be in for another year of no sleep. My friend recommended the BabyWise book and I followed it with my second child. Guess what? She slept through the night at a month old and was the fattest, happiest baby. And I got to sleep! It was like a miracle. The thing is, when you feed a baby each and every time they cry, not only do they not get a full meal (because they're not super hungry every time you feed them), but they get frustrated because instead of fixing whatever problem they are trying to communicate, you are making them eat, and also they never have any idea what to expect because they are the ones running the show, not you as the parent. If you can get your baby onto some kind of schedule (that you direct based on what you know your baby needs), then both you and the baby will be happier, your baby will get big, full meals, and will begin to sleep longer at night. You will be amazed how much happier your baby is with longer sleep periods. So that's my advice - BabyWise. It made a huge difference for me! I hope this helps you. I know newborns are so hard, but you will make it through!

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T.D.

answers from San Francisco on

My son does the same thing.... There are many nights that he wakes up every 2-3 hours, sometimes he only sleeps for an hour and a half. Some babies out there are just sleepers and some are not. My son is not much of a sleeper. It's hard as a mother to not compare your child to other infants. And it's easy to get caught up in the "why won't my child do this" pattern, especially when we hear about friends kids that sleep through the night so early. You just have to trust that your child will do what's right for him when it's right for him. I have been in your shoes. I used to get so frustrated when I would have to get up more often than every two hours and think to myself "why won't my child sleep!??!" But then I changed my attitude and thought about the nights as my time alone with my adorable little baby to snuggle. It really helped!!! I still get frustrated at times, but the more I've relaxed the more he is relaxed and he's even slept a few 5 hours stretches latley. But just know that your childs waking patterns do seem very normal for this age.

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E.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I know you're really tired, but it is fairly common for babies to wake up that often, especially if you are nursing. Breastmilk digests in an hour! Most babies will need middle of the night feedings until abut 6 or 9 months. It really takes a while before a baby can ingest enough during the day that you know they don't need night feedings.

My suggestion is that you start pumping. Find 1 or 2 times in the day to pump for 15-20 minutes with an electric double pump. Wait about 20 or 30 minutes after feeding your babe and then pump. Go to the Medela website for tips on storing/freezing milk.

Have 1 or 2 bottles of milk ready to go in the fridge and have your husband or partner do at least 1 nightfeeding so you can sleep. If your husband is resistant, let him know what hell your life is, which translates into HELL for him, if he does not agree to be a dutiful husband.

Your body will adjust to the pumping. The first few days, you may only get half an ounce. After 3-5 days, you'll be getting as much as a typical feeding.

This is what I did, and I can honestly say it saved my sanity!! Was it tough on my husband? Maybe. But he got used to it and I was a much more agreeable wife because he helped in this way.

If you are not nursing, then so much the easier!!! Just make your husband do the night feeding of formula! You're already set to go.

If you are a single mommy, then try to learn nursing lying down...

BTW - even if you decide to cry it out to train your babe to sleep (we did), sleeping through the night is defined as 6-8 hours, so you still might not get the sleep you want or expect. Remember, 6 hours is considered through the night!!

Anyway, if the whole pumping thing sounds confusing to you, I would seek out the lactation services of a local hospital. Maternal Connections is the place at El Camino Hospital in Mountain View. They do free phone consultations and the ladies are very knowledgeable. I think I read some useful things on www.kellymom.com and the la leche league site too.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Your son sounds perfectly NORMAL for a 3 month old. That's the problem with infants - they're exhausting. The only way you can get him to sleep through the night is wait until he's older, he's still too young and you SHOULD still be comforting and feeding him this often. I'm surprised a pediatrician is telling you to let a 3 month old cry. He's not a very good pediatrician.

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