My Son Is Biraccial

hello, so is my little girl. We live in town...so far no problems she has friends and does not seem to care about race. Anyway , if you like to talk more you can call at ###-###-####.

Hello S.,
My children are bi-racial. They're German,Latino,with a tad bit of Japanese and Black. They've encountered racism through school. We've had teachers who want my children to pick one race and stick with it and don't believe it when my kids say they're German as well as Latino, the latino children tease my children for not speaking spanish for having a white daddy and step daddy. They seem to think my kids aren't good enough because they don't speak or understand the spanish language. Bytheway, my children look Latino. The white people don't believe they're german and tend to distrust my boy who is only 11 and very timid and shy, we haven't encountered anything with black people or asians.

What kind of problems if any are you having?

Hi S.,
Our son is biracial, I'm filipino and my husband is black. We haven't really encountered any problems but more looks and stares. I have been asked if I was babysitting one time, but that's all. It can be a bit bothersome when others don't know or understand that there are other people with children of mixed ethnicities. And then there are times when people say that mixed children are beautiful...go figure!

But in God's eyes, he loves us all. Remember the song, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red, yellow, black & white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world."

And if you're looking for support, I live in the Perris/Moreno Valley area...send me a message if you're in this area!

Take care

My daughters are biracial. I'm black (light skinned) and my husband is Italian. We thought the girls would have more of my skin tone but they are his.
We really haven't had any problems. There has only been one incedent when we took them to the Beach in California. This lady (black) was like "Are those your children? They don't look like you." She was only looking at the skin color because they do have my features. Then you could tell she was talking to her husband and daughter as they left about us. We felt sorry for her daughter because you know she was telling her "that's what your kids would look like if you're with someone white," or whatever.
It was pretty funny actually because we didn't give her the satisfaction of showing we were offended by it. We still joke about it.

What type of problems are you encountering?

S. ~ Wow, I'm so surprised that only 2 people have responded before me! I thought everyone was bi-racial!!! My kids are 17 and 20 and yes, they are bi-racial, so are almost every one of their friends. They think if you are not bi-racial . . . that's just not the "norm". The only problem I've ever known about is which race they should check on the boxes when filling out job applications/college applications, etc. What type of problems are your children facing? Do you live in California? Are you concerned with possible future problems? Maybe give a little more information and you may get a helpful response.

Oh, and one other thing, if you teach them that their race is an issue, then it will be.

my kids are also biracial. my biggest problem is that there dad is light skinned, so they aren't dark and a lot of people don't believe they are mixed or that they are his.

My daughter is biracial. Her father is African American and I am Caucasian. She is very light skinned with beautiful curly hair. Other than my parents worrying about the problems she will have growing up biracial, I have had no problems so far. Her father has chosen not to participate in her life since I was 5 months pregnant, but her paternal grandmother is part of her life. However, the grandmother lives in S. Carolina and we are in Seattle, so we don't see her often. My challenge is helping her know more about her African American heritage. And dealing with my parents "concerns", even though they love her very much and treat her as any other granddaughter!

My two kids are... I guess I use multi-ethnic?
My husband is Mexican and I am mostly white (with just a touch of Mexican).

I too feel that one problem is filing out forms--those that insist you "check one" instead of "all that apply" It's a little irritating. I tend to check hispanic because since I have a bit in my own background, I figure it tips the scales in that direction, and also because they have a hispanic last name.

--BUT, you wouldn't really guess it by looking at them! They are pretty fair (but still darker than me...sigh).

No major problems as of yet... other than white folks assuming I won't be bothered by negative comments about Hispanics (comes up during discussions about immigration). But I've had that problem with or without children, I'm just more sensitive about it since my kids. That the biggest issue--others insensitivity---because since my kids pass for white, bigots don't know to hold their tongues around me (or them)!

My 2 year old son is bi-racial. His father is African American; I am half Mexican, half Caucasian. Out of the entire family, he actually looks most like my father, who is full blooded Mexican, in regard to his skin tone and features. I have not encountered any real "problems" outside of the home with him, or his race. His father is not really involved in his life at this point, but I still make sure to read him books and give him information about the African American culture because I want him to know his background. I live in a pretty diverse area, so there are many more bi-racial families/kids than when I was growing up. I think it has become more of the "norm" and people are not as focused on skin color as they used to be.

My son is also biracial. I am afro-american and my husband is white. Our son doens't even look black at all. I have most of the problems with the fact that he doesn't look like me. What problems have you had and how old is your son.

T. M

Hello S.,

My son is biracial. My husband being black and me being white. B/c he is only five months, we have not run into any problems. It's funny b/c he actually looks hispanic (which I get a lot too)!!! i was really worried about how my extended family would feel because they are from the south. but they have actually taken it very well. Living in the san diego area, I don't think we will have any problems. I think we will have issues if we decide to move back down south...

My children are also biracial. I am filipino and my husband is black. We have 4 beautiful boys ages 11-2 years old. I haven't experienced any problems with my younger kids, but we have, in the last 3-4 years, had some mishaps with my oldest son. Now that he is getting a little older he is aware of the differences between the way he is treated vs. how some of his other classmates are treated. Also, kids can sometimes be meaner then adults. Sometimes it is hard to explain to him why some people are prejudice towards him just because he comes from two different ethnic backrounds. He has recently come to his own conclusion that he can survive and grow stronger with each incident he encounters. He still gets hurt (both physically and emotionally) but he tries to learn from it all.

What kinds of issues are you having? Write me back, sometimes it doesn't feel so bad after you tell someone else.

I'm Japanese and my husband is African American. My children are thus half/half. Sometimes I worry about how my children will be treated, but so far, at 3 1/2 (boy) and 1 1/2 (girl) neither has had any ill treatment by others. My boy goes to preschool (faith based) and his class is very diverse. The teachers also are very loving and I have yet to see any kind of discrimination in any way. I like to go to my favorite Asian markets and although I get stared at every once in a while, I've always been quite immune. My husband and I have been together 13 years, married 11 and we used to live in Vancouver, Canada which has a large Asian community (lots of immigrants) and almost non-existant African-decent community and I used to get stares and glares daily. Here in L.A. we've been to many areas of the city and I have found it to be much more accepting. I think the thing that changes things around me the most is that I am very confident, I believe myself to be intelligent and I try to think of people as generally good. So if I encounter something that seems rude to me, I just smile back at the other person, sometimes say hello, to which I usually get a smile back. For those that don't respond well, I just let it be and to myself I know that as we teach our children to be tolerant and accepting and they see our actions, they will do the same as they grow up. We can only change ourselves and our families and hopefully our actions will slowly change the way the rest of the world learns to become accepting and tolerant. After all everyone is entitled to their beliefs and lifestyles, we have to allow everyone to live and hopefully learn to co-exist peacefully.

S.,
My daughter is mulato. She has grown up (turning 17) into an amazing woman and I believe that it is because I instilled self confidence in her. Which is important for everyone. Because schools often do not give good African American history I have an entire library and have taken college courses.........all of which I had years and years before she was thought of. But she has the info. I have taught her that there will be people that may shun her due to her color, but that is their loss and ignorance. Not her problem. I have let her understand that no matter how beautiful she is on the outside, if she's ugly on the inside, she is ugly on the outside. Therefore the person that you ARE is what is important. Make your own choices and don't follow the crowd, ever. I also taught her that I will never accept, "I didn't get it because I'm black", or any type of excuse for anything due to color. Everyone bleeds the same color blood. Look at every person from within and disreguard the "wrappings". I truly believe that because I taught her these things that she is the lovely, strong, independant, compassionate woman she is growing into. And it goes for any child. Male or female, and any color or religion. And because he is a boy, make sure that he understands how important it is to treat women well.

My children (8 and 4) are mixed. My husband is AA/ caucasian and very dark. As a child people would tell his mom it was so kind of her to adopt minorities and other ignorant things, but that was 30 years ago. So my children, although only a quarter black, have gained very dark skin from him, as well as some other features. It is clear they are mixed with something, but here in Hawaii you never know what that could be. When we lived on the mainland things would happen like we would be seated in the back or near the bathrooms of a restaurant, but I think it was more about my husband and I being a mixed couple than our kids. Like someone else said, other than my family being concerned we will encounter problems, we really haven't experienced any violence or nastyness. Funny thing is, since I am white it is me who stands out. My kids joke playing "I Spy something pale". They know how beautiful they are. Thank you to the person about the comment about using "mulatto"... my husband would rather be called anything than that.

My son is half Mexican, and I'm a mutt. I am part Scottish, Irish, English, Welsh, Swedish, Danish, Protégées, and part Blackfoot Indian. (Basically, almost anything European ending in ish, and a couple others) I’m sure that because I carry so many “white” cultures in my ancestry, I have experienced very little discrimination. What I have experienced was BECAUSE I’m so pale. (I am the palest in the family, to the point they some times joke that I’m not white, but CLEAR.) I am very proud of my vast heritage! I LOVE the fact that my son has even one more piece to his heritage! My husband is first generation “U.S. Born”, so we still get to experience A LOT of TRUE Mexican traditions.

Enrich your child with as much knowledge of ALL their ancestry as you can. Maybe it’s the naive view of someone that’s always been treated “white”, but I think the biggest causes of racism are ignorance and self righteousness. I have NEVER done anything racially motivated, but have had some (a handful at most) people of color treat me terrible just because I’m “white”. I know! There are rotten people from every race! And I’ll be the first to say how DISGUSTING it is when I hear it happening, to ANYONE! (I’ve called a few people off in my life. I just can’t stay quiet in the face of injustice!!!)

Okay, I’ll climb off my podium now! Anyway, like I said, if your child is well educated about their races they will do fine. If you’re not married to their father (I don’t know because your bio doesn’t say), then learn everything you can about their father’s racial back ground and special traditions. For example, every year for Christmas we got a Julkapp gift. (but ours weren’t left on the door step by a stranger, as is tradition in Sweden; they were under the tree from Mom & Dad.) A “Julkapp” is a very prized gift, wrapped in several layers of Christmas paper. It might be 3 layers, it might be 30. It was always our favorite to open, even if it was just a cheap gift like bubbles. I don't know if it is in fact part of the tradition, but we always yelled "JULKAPP!" when we got to the actual gift.

Enjoy knowing that you have such a wonderful opportunity to enrich your child, yourself, and those that will undoubtedly be touched by your child’s very existence! -J

Hi Jennifer,

First off, I want to say that I am almost positive your son is the most gorgeous kid on the planet. I think biracial/mixed children are beautiful.

My neice and nephew are both biracial. Mom is caucasion, dad is african american.

When they were babies, they didn't really encounter anything bad...

I think getting older they encountered some racial put downs from outside sources, like kids at school and even some family members who would tease my nephew because he dressed "white" and would call him a "white N-----".

I think kids in general these days can be really cruel. My neice had to deal with a girl teasing her about her hair and throwing dead grass in it on a daily basis.

Both are over 10 and don't deal with anything of the sort anymore.

I think it all depends on how the children are raised... There are a lot of kids out there who's parents don't tell kids that it's OK for other kids to be a different 'color' or race. Not saying that they're racist in doing so, but if the kids are sheltered and they see something different when they start school, they're going to approach it in a different way. Curious, mean, what have you.

For the most part, there is absolutely no issue in regards to race for either child now. They're both at an age where the kids in their classes are mature and know them for them and not their skin color. They're both stellar atheletes and honor roll students and happy, happy kids.

Hope that helps... I also want to say that I didn't mean to offend ANYONE with what I wrote... I was merely stating personal experiences and stories.

My youngest daughter is 1/4 Japanese (her dad is 1/2). You'd never be able to tell because she has blonde hair and blue eyes, but I always make sure that my daughter knows about her heritage, even if she only has the slightest amount of it in her. Just teach your son to embrace both of the cultures he comes from, and to never be ashamed of it. So long as you do that, chances are that any negative encounters will not phase him.

my children are white and Filipino. My husband as adapted very well to our society, he's only been here for 4 years. We have yet to have any problems. I'm sure when we go out we get looks, and people don't ever believe that my daughter is mine. My son however looks like a white boy... I don't really notice because it is just how it is, they're brown, I'm white, but as my daughter would say "we're a family".

What kinds of problems have you encountered?

I'm sure we'll have some someday but not yet.

Hi S.,

I am biracial and so is my daughter, though you'd never know it. I was curious what sort of questions you might have. Are you here in Oregon? Let me know, I am happy to answer any questions.

*Side note - FYI to the group, not to sound like an angry person, but the word "mulatto" means "little mule" and it was orginally use to describe the "hybrid" nature of biracial children, as they thought, much like a mule. I think it is still being used because people think it sounds exotic when it is actually offensive. To each his own but I think biracial or mixed race is a much nicer way to say it.

my younger son is chinese and white. we always get stared at going to restaurants, grocery stores, etc. I often want to hold a sign that says "Yes! I am white, and he is indeed Chinese, now turn around and mind your own business!" I too when in chinese markets will stare at a couple if they are of to different cultures. I am not staring to be mean, it is more of an acceptable stare and I am glad to see you, I am glad more and more people are choosing their mate not based solely on race. California is much more acceptable then any other place for biracial children. Growing up in the midwest, I know too well. Young children will ask questions about the race and simply answer Yes, you are correct. We were lucky to have found one another. Make it fun for children when they encounter and ask questions. It is very imporant they know both heritages and encourage them to learn more then what you may be able to offer them. Mixed children are beautiful.

What problems exactly? My self, my sibblings and my children are bi-racial (mulatto). Are you asking if there are mental, emotional or physical problems from being born bi-racial? The only issue on record is mongolian spots which are seen and noted at birth. Mongolian spotts are found mostly in asian and mulatto newborn babbies.

S.,

I am Mexican and German and I have three children. My oldest's father is El Salvadoren and my younger two's dad is black. My children never have had those identity problems that I read, herad and was worried about but they each have encountered someone being ... less than nice .. about their race. What I did was get each of them books and DVDs on their heritage and teach them that some people are just unhappy and that it has nothing to do with them or "their people".

I honestly believe that if you raise your kids to be proud of who they are, life will be easier for them. It is not only about race, kids/youth are always picked on about something.. weight .. glasses... height .. just treat this as you would that.