My Sister Wants to Babysit

Hey Susie,

Listen to your instincts and stick to your guns if the babysitting situation that your sister is proposing doesn't feel right to you. You are the shot caller for your son and sometimes that means making decisions that you know in your heart are best for him but may not be popular with other people. If you say "No," to your sister's request, she'll probably get over her disappointment but if you say "Yes" when your really mean "No," you'll end up resenting your sister and it could end up being a situation where you find out you should have trusted your instincts all along. You only have one shot at raising this boy, so do what you feel is right.

That said, there's really no need for any unnecessary conflict with your sister. Just keep telling her "No," and that you don't feel comfortable with her invitation at this time but maybe later when your son can tell others his name, address and telephone number if he happens to accidentally wander off from your sister. And maybe you can work out some other kind of babysitting situation at this time that feels good for the two of you.

Hang in there and trust your instincts.

You don't say how old your sister is, if she has kids, etc..?

Go with her! That is my suggestion.

The WAP is great for young kids. With my daughter from birth till 4ish, we went all the time. I'd go several times a week and we'd just walk around, I'd follow her lead. It's not like the zoo where you have to watch out for those busses. But, if your sis isn't used to watching an active young toddler, then I'm not so sure I'd feel comfortable. If it is crowded, it only takes a sec for him to get away. So, personally, I'd go with her. If you do end up sending him, pack a bag with snacks/water, extra clothes (there is a water feature there he may get wet at) so extra clothes, diapers and shoes! Dress him in bright colors - orange shirt. Make sure she brings a stroller for when he is too tired to walk and to store her stuff if needed. Tell her you'll KILL HER IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, but to have fun! Just kidding.

Hope that helped a little,
M.

Well, I felt like that when my sister became an "Aunty." She also does NOT have any children, or experience with children.

While she is a responsible career woman...she tends to blow-off any 'warnings' I give, about my children, and she'll just wave her hand & eye-balls rolling and says "they'll be fine. No problem, right kids?" BUT... once she took them to the park and my son is very fast, and he ran out onto the street and nearly got hit. AND she hadn't brought her cell phone with her either... so they could not call me as my son was scared and crying.

My major rule is: 'ALWAYS BRING YOUR CELL PHONE WHEN WITH MY KIDS...." even if you are walking 20 feet up the street. You NEVER KNOW what can happen.

Now, go with your instincts. If it were me, personally, I would not allow it. If she does not 'get it', then she will also not 'get' other things about children.

My Sister now, "admits" children are unpredictable... but she still makes it a sarcastic humor joke, to me. SHE thinks, that she can "control" all scenarios, with kids because she is so successful in her career and other aspects...but CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT. They are not a board meeting.

Go at your own pace, about letting your sister take your child out.

All the best,
Susan

Susie,

I'm not sure you are totally out of line with your feelings...I have a younger sister who adores my son who is almost 3, but she would never ask to take him that far from home or be gone for that long. Only because she KNOWS what she can handle and how much my son can handle...it's common sense, but some people don't know that kids can be THAT much work.

Is it possible you go with them? Or just put your foot down, be honest and tell her taking into consideration you son's schedule and the distance you'd prefer she stay closer to home and be considerate of his needs. Also, based on the fact that he's only met her a few times, I'd see that as a factor too.

You just have to follow your Mommy heart and go with your gut...best guide we have!

I would just trust her, this might be the only way that they can get a close connection to eachother. After all she is his aunt and should have the privelage to take her nephew out to have fun. He might enjoy spending time at the zoo.

Why don't you go along? This is what I did with my sister. Explain in a light-hearted tone that you are still a worry-wart, first-time mom and that you want her big first outing with her nephew to go smoothly. Play it up that you are tagging along more for her benefit to help with any tantrums, poopy diapers, etc. Tell her that outings together now will prepare your son better for the time he can go off on extended outings or sleepovers with her and how you look forward to that when he is older. After your day together, suggest she take him to Chuck E. Cheese or Castle Park in the next few weeks so you can get your nails or shopping done. Something like that.

He is at a great age for the animal park. It is one of our favorite places. It is a 45 minute/hour drive from Corona. Lots of walking, so take the stroller, water and sunscreen. The great thing about the Wild Animal park is that it is not a crowded place like Disneyland. An aboslutely wonderful place to spend a spring day. This is the time of year to see lots of babies. Pack a picnic lunch as there are tons of tables near the playground. He is proably too young to stay still and quiet on the tram if he is as active as most 2 year olds. There is an awesome carousel and a petting zoo.
All the money made by the animal park (and the San Diego zoo too) goes right back to the park. They are a non profit agency and if you get a membership it is tax deductable. Living so close, I recommend you and your hubby do that. So cheap for a year worth of fun at both parks and it goes to a great cause.

Can you find something in that area to do so that you are close by if a situation arises?

Hi Susie,

I think you should let your sister be an Aunt. I know it's a little nerve-racking. But you just have to trust your sister and look forward to the time you'll have alone with your husband for the day.

We relocated last year from Dallas and my daughter had only met my brother twice before and she was a few months shy of turning 3 when we moved. My brother was so excited to be an uncle and couldn't wait to take the kids to the beach, to the park, etc. I was a little nervous letting him take my daughter anywhere. He doesn't have kids and it's a big responsibility. But I finally just had to take a deep breath and let him take her places for the day.

Have your sister come over and spend a couple hours with your son before they head out so that they warm up first. It's important for him to start developing a bond with his Aunt now.

Just take a deep breath...

-Char

Hi susie, I would take a few things into cosideration before making a decision, number one is your sister reliable, number 2, how far is the wild animal park from where you live, 3, would she be wiling to bring your son home if he's having a hard time being away from you and home. My first child was about that age when we took him for th first time and he loved it. I do have one question why don't you all just go together? this way he gets to know auntie better and mom and dad are close by. J. L.

I totally understand how you feel. I freak out about my son going on school field trips and he is in 1st grade. I would be like...yeah right sister, I don't think so and I really wouldn't care about her feelings (or if she "gets" it) but that's just me. My childs safety would be more important. Well Susie....good luck with your decision.
My vote = Thumbs Down
-M.

I think you are being to overpertective. If you do not let your child experience being with other people. Trust me he will be just fine, if you are comfortable then he will be.
Just let go.