My Rule of "Study-90minutes" Needs Clarity for Myself & My Teen, Pls Help

You seem to have a good routine for him. I assume he is the oldest child?

I'm not sure how old he is, since you didn't mention that. But, since he is always asking you "now what?" Well, maybe it's because he knows you want him to be 'useful' and he is just being conscientious and/or wants approval for what he did. So that's good.

Or, he genuinely does not know what to do with himself.

One thing you might try is: have a jar, and write down a few things on pieces of paper, so that when he does not know what to do with himself, he can go to the jar and pick something. It can be either "work/chore" stuff, or "fun" stuff, or even just the chance for him to just hang out or play. He seems real 'educated' and is a good student, so 'reward' kinds of things might be a good breather for him. Maybe even things like "write a poem or haiku" kinds of things, or creative things, or the chance for him to work on any "hobbies" he has.

I think its great that he even helps his sister with his homework... most kids don't like to even do that. Its a big responsibility. What a great kid you have!

Or, you can always "teach" him how to think of things on his own... teaching 'resourcefulness' to a child is always a great trait to acquire....especially if he tends to get "bored" and can't think of anything to do.

Or, if he is a "busy body" type and always has to be doing something with himself, then have him do other things... but bearing in mind a kid needs down-time too.

Its great you have him plugged-into things and expanding his mind with good book topics. :)

Maybe even ask HIM for ideas... then you won't have to do it all... and it will give him a chance to creatively problem solve for himself. Sometimes, even just sitting and doing "nothing" is great for a kid... it gives them time for self-reflection... and they "grow" this way too. My daughter comes up with all kinds of things when she does that. And then we talk about it or I tell her to draw what she is "thinking" or dreaming of, or any of her "hopes." Its a great exercise and fun at the same time.

Good luck,
Susan

thats very structured which isnt bad. but maybe you should let him have some free time to do something he pleases. if his sister doesnt need help and theres nothing more for him to do then let him got on line watch a favorite show hang with a friend etc. does he get much free time after all these chores? or just on the weekends? i dont think you ask too much of your kids you just want them to seceed and be knowegdable. keep up the good work and maybe just let him be a kid or teen when hes done with his needed chores.

Cool! I think it's great that you do that!
What about having a list, in order of "priorities". It would start with studying, then when he is done with that he moves on to the next most important thing, and so on. That way he doesn't have to ask you every time, he can just keep going down the list until he has his 90 minutes done. You could even make a little chart (on excel or something), and have him write in the minutes completed on each "task". If there is something on the list that doesn't need to be done that day, he can skip to the next. Also, have you tried the "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" books? They are great! That could maybe be something to put on the list! (They are easy to find on Ebay for cheap). Never know, he might like them so much he will read them on his own time ;)
Good job! :)

S.,

Wow! You sound like my Mom when I was a teen, and I really think structure is a great way for kids to learn about how to conduct themselves as adults.

What my Mom had me do was volunteer for something I felt stongly about...I volunteered for a Peer Grief Hotline for two days for one hour after school. She also created a checklist of other things I could do, kind of like a reference sheet so I wasn't always bugging her about what to do next.

Oh, and my Mom suggested hobbies...like sewing, learning anohter langauge, tutoring (made extra cash), building models, painting or looking into clubs at school that had a local benefit. During the summer, I did music and art classes or science classes at the natural history museum (where I worked for six years before having my son). But, I also got 'free days' for being consistent. So, if I went a whole month with good grades and no bad reports I'd get to some kind of reward.

It sounds like your son is on the right track and you're doing a great job! Just keep it simple and ask him if there is anything he's interested in and see if it fits your parameters.

Keep up the great work!!

It kind of sounds to me like he doesn't always need 90 minutes of study time. You didn't say his age. I'm guessing high school with that much study time. If he is getting A's why don't you let him cut down the study time but of course always help his sister. Does he play any sports or instruments or is he involved in any extra curricular activities with school like clubs etc. All those things I find just as important and gives them a great friend base also. Debbbie G