A.R.
I know what you mean. My mom used to do the same thing- pull out a hairbrush and sigh like I was a bad mom, or tell me my daughter looked like an orphan when her pants were pinned in the back to keep them from falling off her tiny waist.
How about overalls? My daughter always looked pretty neat in overalls and if they are too boyish, you can buy pink ones or embroider, etc. on them. They worked for us because they were pretty adjustable length-wise and you don't really have to have them "fit" on the waist.
Pigtails are always cute- even if they are so short the hair sticks out like Pebbles from The Flintstones.
The truth is, I would just tell my mom I was doing the best I could and to hush or she was going to give her a body issue complex! It might take a few times of repeating it, but it's what worked for me!
(This from the mom of a 7 yr old who decided to wear her chef's hat and apron to the "fancy" breakfast place last weekend..... and I didn't stop her!! :)
M.