My Kids Will Be 15 Mos. apart...HELP!

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"and then there were two forum" (This board is for families with 2 under 2 or anyone with more. )

I agree with what everyone has written. I'm a SAHM of 4 y/o twins and I love it, but I also wanted to offer a different perspective. My sister and I are 14 mos apart, and we are closer than anyone I know. I can't imagine my life without her and sometimes think that this is maybe what a twin relationship feels like.
Good luck to you!
C.

I have two boys who are 19 mths apart. Just a bit more than yours, but enough to say that I think having them close together is a great thing!

They are close friends, and the oldest didn't have time to understand the whole "only" thing so there was very little sibling rivalry or adjustment issues when the 2nd one came around.

Now, the real problems you will face is the whole "two cribs" thing. I took my oldest out of his crib at 15 mths so that he had about 3 mths time to sleep in his bed and not think that it was related to the baby coming. Your oldest might be a bit young for that... but that's really NOT a big issue!

Feel free to write if you want to talk more!

Hi! My first two children are 14 months apart!~ It was wonderful!~ Sure, it was kinda like having two babies/twins.. kinda.. I wouldnt change a thing looking back.. we had double stroller, and they almost did everything the same.. and played together and soooo loved each other, my older ~daughter, second..son really great! Now, that they are 9, and almost 8~they argue all the time.. and are growing up..I long for those first 4ish years..
ENJOY this time with your first, because, yes, you wont have that much one on one.. but that doesnt mean you love E. anyless!! it will be woooonderful.

Congratulations and relax! Mine are 12.5 months apart (yes, rather intentionally) and I am so glad we did it this way as I watch many, many other friends and relatives with children with bigger gaps struggle.

Here are just a few of the pros -
- similar schedule for naps (once baby was 6 mos or so)
- similar schedule for nighttime/wake up time
- similar feeding schedules, similar meals (both in bed 7ish, wake 6ish -from pre-1 to even now)
- very easy to find toys that both cna play with (no worries about one liking toys with small pieces, etc)
- similar books and similar movies and tv shows (Ses St fans here)
- you won't deal with the spoiled/possessive jealousy feelings that bigger age gap kids have
- one diaper bag = and changing 2 becomes a quick process!
- you go through these phase as one big one (newborn to toddler to preschooler)
- you will have many tricks up your sleeve as to what worked with one - not much time in between to forget!)
- they do lots of classes together (many classes are for a specific age and up to 18 mos so they fit in great together)
- we are not there yet, but being one class apart will be beneficial for homework, friends, etc.
(I am leaving out tons more, but I think you get the point!)

Cons
- the first 4-6 months is challenging with any newborn so just be prepared for that.

- I often forget how close in age they are, sometimes unfairly expecting the older to do more/act older.

My daughter is 3 and son is 2 and they are best of friends. Good luck and feel free to email me anytime with any questions

My two are also 18 months apart, and it was quite frightening at first. But actually, things worked out very well immediately. My daughter, who was 18 months at my son's birth, is and has always been very easy going, which made life alot easier. Financially, we found the close age to be very beneficial. We kept many of our toys that our daughter played with as a baby and my son still plays with them now. We also did the otddler bed at 15 months, for the same reason as the other mom, and it went extremely well. Our expense was a hundred dollar toddler bed versus, probably buying a new crib had we waited longer. Emotionally, my daughter loved watching her baby brother and likewise, she was one of the few people who could make him laugh instantly with her silly faces.

Now, at nearly ages 2 and 3 1/2, it's a little more difficult because my son is much more demanding than my daughter was. My daughter skipped terrible 2's (lucky me) but my son is not going to. lol. But when they do play together, which is most of the time, it is fun to watch/listen to. The other big plus--everything that I teach my daughter, my son follows close behind. He has learned various shapes, colors, and can count to 13, albeit not very clearly, but all because he hears his sister and I practicing them.

Good luck, enjoy it and congratulations.

My boys are 13m onths apart at first it was super hard... I felt like all i did was change diapers and feed them. They are great friends and it is such a blessing that they play together!! The other bonus is that by the time one outgrows soemthing the other is in it. You will be fine and the older one will really step up and help its so surprising!!
Good Luck!

You will be fine.. my girls are 15 months apart.. now they are 3 and 2.. and they love each other.. with your first.. she only has you to play with.. but the second has both you and their sister. I personally love that they are close in age... I have another daughter who is 21 months from the youngest... I love it. they all play with each other.. it is very nice b/c you can see how much they care for each other at this age. Personally when I had the 2...it wasn't a big deal that they were so close together... they will soon be on the same schedule and it is sooo cute...

Enjoy.. don't freak out...

I hope this helps...

my two kids are 18 months apart. the first was a girl, the second a boy. they are now teens and are really good friends, mostly because they hang with the same kids (good kids!) and go to the same school and like the same music/style/tv. Vacations were easier because they both had the same desires and abilities, whereas if you have an older one, the younger one can't/won't want to do the same things.

You will totally lose your mind over the first 1-2 years, there are a lot of things I can't remember because it's such a blur. I would be going out with the kids in winter, my daughter was 2 and my son was not even crawling. I remember putting his winter coat on him, then turning to put her boots on. I heard him "poop", so I had to undress him again, and while I was changing him, she had unzipped her coat and pulled her boots off. My husband asked why it was so difficult for me to go to the store during the day, and once he saw this, he understood.

But in the end I am SOO glad they are close together. I don't know if you already have a girl or a boy, but either way, once you get past the first one-two years of losing your mind, you will LOVE that they are close and will probably be friends, especially if they are the same sex.

Good luck! it will be crazy but well worth it!

Hi there, my kids are 10 months apart (no kidding) and I really really like having them this close in age. They are really close to each other and have a lot of fun together. I'm sure there's pros and cons to close-aged siblings and those with more time between, but it is what it is and you just gotta run with it. I have no experience with children further apart in age, but in my experience, I really am glad that my two are close in age (I could have stood a little more time between the two but I'm so lucky to have them). One thing is that the older one never got used to being an only, and pretty much has had a brother most of her life (of course they're still only toddlers, so my experience is limited)

Hi, my two boys are 16 1/2 months apart. At first it was overwhelming......but it gets better. (I work full time - just started a new job when I had found out I was pregnant so my leave was only 8 weeks...that didn't help) My oldest had a major melt down / regression hit the first week we came home. We made sure we (husband and I) spent about an 1 hour alone with no interuptions, that really helped. The boys are so close. They play together and entertain each other. I wouldn't have it any other way. Congrats to you!!

Relax!!!! It is actually the most fun and tiring thing you will ever do in your life. I have 4 children and they are all really close in age. my oldest and #2 child are 18 months apart and then #2 and #3 are 14 months apart. When I brough child #3 home - my oldest was only 2 1/2! I still worked with 3 babies at home.

Looking back (they are 10,9,8 and #4 is 4)it wasn't as hard as it originally feared. You just take one day at a time and do the best that you can. They are now good friends and share everything (not always willingly - we are far from perfect!!) The other good thing is that they will be into the same things at the same time, which helps with toy buying and carpooling to activities.

Overall, just relax and have fun with it. It will be hard, tiring and you'll be up to your elbows in diapers for a while but I would not have done it any other way - and ours were not planned!!!

My kids are 18 months apart. We planned it that way. The beginning was the hardest. My daughter, the oldest, was just entering the terrible twos when my son was born. To top it off, she's very challenging and tests us on everything. Learning to juggle two completely different schedules was hard but after the first couple of months, I got the hang of it.

I never found it difficult to spend quality time with each of my kids, and I've never regretted our decision to have them so close in age. At most times they can play with the same toys and they often get along. Of course, there's always bad days where one or the other or BOTH seem dead-set on destroying each other, teasing, hurting, taking toys, etc. But that's nothing compared to the vast majority of good days when my daughter tries teaching my son how to play with a toy, or to count, or letters, or reads to him. They are good friends most days and truly love each other.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Good luck.
-Jen

My boys are 13 months apart. Ben is 17 months and Sam is 4 months. Let me just say 1 is like having none and 2 is like having 10!
Right now try not to lift your other one too much, I ended up on bed rest and having to hire a nanny the last trimester.
Once they are here it takes a few months to get into a routine. But now I am actually enjoying them. Both boys are so much fun right now. I have friends who had theirs this close and it is hard for the first year, but after they start to play together it is a breeze.
Congratulations! You will love having them this close and they will be best friends!

I have two girls that are 21 months apart. Don't worry!!! It is working out for me just great... our older daughter loves and cares for her baby sister. And the baby sister ADORES her big sis! Sure... there are bonks on the heads, and crying from having to share toys... but it's all worth it.

It always works out in the end... don't worry!
Jen~

I have twins. And my SIL had 3 under 3 years. It's rough many times but you just do what you need to do. You might now sure how you get through it but you will. The benefits....you can get your pre-preg bod back faster, your kids are closer in age so potentially for them to be closer when they grow up, etc. Congrats and good luck!

Hi there! My two kids are 16 months apart, and I was as nervous as you sound. My daughter is 6 months old, now, and my son is 22 months old. I cannot lie--at first it was HARD. But, I will tell you the good things about it.

1. Your older baby will still be taking naps. Sometimes they will coincide with the younger baby's naps. Hurray! If you can dedicate yourself to it, you can also gear the younger babies naps once they get into a routine at about 5-6 months to have one of them at the same time as your older baby's nap. This hour to yourself is heavenly.

2. Your older baby will not have reached the "terrible Twos" yet, and you'll probably find he/she is so accepting of the new baby.

There are really a lot of pros--it's great to read to my son while my daughter nurses; he's at an old enough age where he can handle playing on his own for a little bit at a time; they are SO cute together; my daughter LOVES everything my son does; he's not big enough or motivated to play rough with her; and the list goes on. From what I have heard, from moms with older kids that are this close in age, its great as they grow up, too, because they have each other to play with and will be really close to one another!

The cons--it's TIRING. There were some days with me that I wasn't sure I could get through. Thankfully those days were very few. It becomes something you don't think about, you just do it. You'll be great. I hope for you that your first baby is like mine--laid back and extraordinarily sweet. That will make it a lot easier.

Plus, any help you can get is a lifesaver. My husband is fantastic about helping with them when he gets home. Dinner/bath/bedtime is a little hectic, but if he's home, it makes it a lot easier because he helps so much.

Good luck, and if you have any questions along the way, feel free to ask!

Congratulations, E.! It will be so exciting to see your two children start to play with eachother. My children are close in age. A few things that helped me a lot during the first 6 months:

1) Wake up the baby an hour before the older child wakes up. This will give you an hour to feed, burp and change the baby before the older child wakes up.

2) Start the baby's bedtime routine about an hour before the older child goes to bed. This way you can continue the structure you already have in place with the older child. I wasn't very good at this and have had to struggle to get back into our old routine. The good thing is that once the baby can sit, then both children can their evening bath at the same time.

3) Tell your husband that you'll need his help. Make a list of things that are really important to you, and then tell him that those are things he'll have to do. You won't have time for **anything** the first 6 mts. If the important items are being accomplished, you won't be so stressed.

4) Understand that one child will always be crying. It's okay and it will eventually get better!

5) Try to get a sitter for a few hours a week. This will give you time to run errands, have a "date" with the older child, or just be by yourself.

Good luck! All will go well!