My Kid Won't Sleep at Daycare!!!

Updated on June 09, 2011
B.B. asks from Omaha, NE
9 answers

I'ver recently switched my son from a daycare center that i was extremely unhappy with, and have begun using an in-home daycare which I love. It's a much much better environment for him and he seems to be happier when i pick him up and I know he's getting the kind of care and attention he needs there. I have run into one little problem though. My son doesn't seem to want to nap at daycare. I don't know if he feels like he's missing out on something, or if it's just because he's used to his own crib, or what the issue is but my daycare provider mentions it everyday. His naps are broken up and sometimes he will only sleep for a total of 1-2 hours a day. I don't seem to think this is a huge issue because he always seems to be in a good mood once I get him home, and he sleeps incredibly well for me when i have him at night and on the weekends when hes home. Also, the other kids at the daycare both sleep about 2-5 hours a day for naps, and that seems alot to me. I guess I just need some perspective on this issue and what to do about it. I've tried making suggestions as to how we do things at home just to help keep some routine going for him but it doesnt seem to be working. I just want some outside opinions. Thanks!!

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R.C.

answers from Sioux City on

Have you asked the daycare provider why she's bringing it up? Maybe she's just afraid you'll blame her if he's cranky from missing his nap.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Add up how much he is sleeping in total (naps plus night). If it is less than 13-15 hours I would be concerned that over time you will see behavior and problems related to sleep shortages. Continue to monitor his moods (so far it sounds like he is okay) and provide any additional info for the provider in terms of his routines for naps (keep as much the same as she can provide). How did he sleep at the group daycare? Was the setting really different? You also didn't say how long he has been in the new setting. He may adjust in time. But you do want to aim for the same nap schedule at daycare as he has at home.

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C.Z.

answers from Omaha on

Hi B.,

I too, am a licensed childcare provider. I have been providing care for children for the past 20 years and have never had a child sleep more than 2-3 hours AT MOST unless of course, they are an infant. It sounds to me like the children are sleeping too much and that the amount of time that your child is sleeping is more age appropriate.

I have children that are light sleepers, long, heavy sleepers, some that don't sleep at all. I always put a "sound spa" on so that if a child is awake, they don't keep the other children up. If this move is a recent one, your little one may still be adjusting to the new schedule. With that being said, I do have to say though that any child who sleeps at daycare for more than 2-3 hours is getting entirely too much sleep. If you would like to visit more about this, feel free to contact me. We live in the same town.

C.

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N.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know other posters have already addressed this...but I feel I have to add my thoughts as well. I guess I find it disheartening that someone would think a child not taking a nap is a problem. In fact, I think it's odd, so I say keep your eye open on this one. Your provider's daily mentioning that your son won't take a nap might be an indicator of the type of care she is providing. It sounds like she is abusing "naptime" to get a break from the kids. I don't know many toddlers who can nap that long! Are they really sleeping? Newborns, sure. Toddlers, not likely.

I guess my reaction would be one of annoyance and even concern that she is seeming to put pressure on you and possibly your son to solve her percieved problem of "no naptime". I guess I'd want to know if she's bringing this up because she is feeling inconvenienced because she's now required to occupy him for 3 or more hours while the others sleep, or is she bringng it up because she is truly concerned about his health and well-being?

I guess my thought is "so what if he isn't taking a nap?" This isn't a behavioral problem. Realistically, depending on the age of a child, their temperament etc. some kids even outgrow naps altogether or take very, very short naps. If he's content without a nap, not cranky etc. then perhaps he's one of those children needing little to no nap.

There is also the fact that he's in new surroundings. My kids can not sleep just anywhere. If they're in a strange place other than their own bed, with their favorite "stuffed buddy", blankets, etc. they're not going to sleep. Even if its at grandmas. I'd try to find out what the provider is doing to help make the atmosphere more comfortable for your son.

I know you just found the daycare, after apparently leaving another situation. Unfortunately, finding good help is tough stuff. I'd push her a little harder to explain why she keeps bringing it up. Depending on her answer, I'd have a backup plan in the works.

Find out what she does while the kids are napping during those 3 to 5 hours. Also consider how many kids she's managing and at what ages. Does it seem she has more than she can handle? Does she have help? Find out how she's occupying your child when he doesn't sleep, or if she's trying to force him to nap. Find out what she's saying or has said to the other parents about this topic. If she's saying it to you, chances are she's made it an issue with other parents too.

In fact, I'm curious to know how she manages to keep a bunch of small and active children asleep for a 3 - 5 hour nap. Anyone who knows small children would have to say what she's claiming is quite a feat! I'd be really suspect of this claim. Perhaps she's exaggerating to make a point with you so you'll "fix" the problem? If she's really making the kids nap this long, I'd want to know what method she's using to enforce this, and whether it is healthy and acceptible. Either way, I'd really strongly urge you to investigate further.

You might also want to find out what the state deems acceptible or requires day cares to provide nap-wise. I don't mean to alarm, just some things to consider finding out as you evaluate your provider's concerns and perhaps her questionable behavior.

Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

2-5 hours a day at daycare is WAY TOO much time to be sleeping during the day. I cant imagine those kids are sleeping at night very well. 2 hours, maybe 3 if they are really active that day, but 5 hours? Wow, seems more like the provider wants them in bed instead of dealing with them. I may be way off on that, but 5 hours seems extreme. 1-2 hours a day for an almost one year old is normal, especially if he is sleeping well at night and at home on the weekends. I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, it sounds like the provider just WANTS him to sleep that much each day so she gets the break from him. I feel bad saying that, obviously I dont have all the info, but I cannot imagine 5 hours unless the child is sick.

Also, to the suggestion of having him sleep in a stroller, licensed daycares cannot allow infants to sleep anywhere but their cribs (Pack N Plays are allowed). It is not safe and not good for their growth and development.

S. mom of 3 and licensed family child care provider for 20+ years

K.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

i do in home day care and i have one little boy that went sleep in the play pen that i have even with his own blanket. the only way he'll sleep if i strap in in the umbrella stroller and tip him back wards some and bounce him in it. out he goes and he'll sleep for 2 hours that way. so maybe having them try something different even if it's a little off the wall.
ps i take care of little girl also who has no problems sleeping in the play pen!!!

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Somewhere around 1year of age give or take a few months they should be dropping their morning nap and only having a afternoon nap. Afternoon nap is typically 2 hours like 1-3pm.....

I'd try this and talk to your provider about trying this and he might just sleep better.

2-5 hours is way to much for napping. I agree with the other poster below sounds like she's not wanting to deal with the children.

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M.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

I have a state license daycare and children are to have quiet time for only 2 hrs. I think someone is taking you and other parents for a ride by making your child try to sleep for 5 hrs. Sounds like they don't want to deal with the children. A child can not learn if he/she is sleeping all day. A good schedule with play and learning is what they need.

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C.K.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi B.,

Most 11 months old will still take a morning and afternoon nap, with the morning nap being from 1-2 hours, and the afternoon nap being around 2-2 1/2 hours. That is a total of 3-4 1/2 hours a day, so it's not unusual that your daycare provider would like for him to sleep a little more. He shouldn't be, but maybe he is starting to outgrow his morning nap. Maybe you should suggest to your provider to skip his morning nap, and then maybe he would take a 2-3 hour afternoon nap. You never said how long he sleeps for you...I'm assuming he sleeps longer for you? How long has he been in his new daycare? If it has only been a couple of weeks or so he will probably get more comfortable and start sleeping a little longer. Patience and consistency will pay off.

C.

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