My House Is Crazy with 3 Boys!

I had two friends that each had six boys and I considered both of them saints, so I sympathize.....you might try the book, RAISING BOYS by Dr. James Dobson. My daughter has 2 boys and she found it to be a big help.

KUDOS to you for following through with discipline! I go crazy hearing people blame their children's poor behavior on "being boys". So YAY FOR YOU!!!!

I think this is the hardest time agewise no matter the gender. Right now you are trying to instill manners, discipline and overall respect for others. It's very challenging at this age.

As for the twins, I don't have experience there. However I have found that giving kids separate activities really helps cut down on the fighting. Just like in school, give EACH child an activity where they don't have to share crayons, play doh, etc. I sit my kids across the table from each other so they can talk and show each other what they've done without being able to grab, smash, etc. each other's stuff.

For your older child it's important for him to have his own "stuff" that the other kids don't get to touch. For us that works by making bedrooms "private space". Whatever is in your bedroom is YOURs that no one else can take. Special birthday presents go in their rooms until they are willing to share them. If their room becomes overwhelmed with junk, i.e. they can't keep it clean, then I come in and make some suggestions on what needs to go.

About toys - we don't let our kids have ALL their toys. We "store" some in the basement (out of sight, out of mind) and cycle them back in every so often. We also keep "crafts" and "special toys" (e.g. music books, glitter, glue, paint, etc.) in a special cabinet that they have to ASK PERMISSION to go into. That keeps these items special. I only break them out 1x a day or every few days and they are expected to help with the cleanup.

And finally, movies/games...our kids have to earn them. Any sort of reward system will work. My kids really liked picking out a picture of something at LakeShore learning...these were colored cut outs, they have a whole section - one chose apples, the other chose a cupcake. I wrote their names on 10 and used magnetic tape on the back (also from LS). Each child earned 1 "magnet" for each time they helped/acted appropriately, and lost one after 1 warning or immediately if they hurt someone else. The key was what they had by the end of the day (when Daddy got home). DADDY asked how they did, if they behaved and made a BIG DEAL out of all the lined up magnets each child earned. I think the praise was more rewarding than the movies, games or special activities they earned. Plus the "competition" between how each child was doing along the way was a great motivator too.

Good luck Mama!

I have 2 boys ages 5 and 3 and I watched a 3 year old boy 36 hours a week. It's being boys, it's the age and it's BOYS:) People who say that girls are harder just crazy. I have worked as a live in nanny for years with just the girls(started when they were toddlers) and have NEVER experienced this craziness. Getting them outside helps a lot and also getting an inflatable bounce house(well that works great till somebody runs out screaming with one part of their body or another bleeding:)) I am preg now and feeling it's another boy. Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hear you woman! I do not have twins but I do have a house full of boys...ages 18,15,14*,10*,6 and 4...with a 2 yr old girl bringing up the rear!
*Nephews who practically live at our house, everyday after school and most weekends they are here hanging out with the cousins!!

My house is always loud and crazy! I have found that humor is the best way to go. My DH and I would not survive with out humor...sometimes it is the only thing that keeps us going. They are only little for such a short time, enjoy them! Pretty soon yours will be the ages of mine and then you can add at least 1-2 friends, for each child, most weekends....ahhhhhh!

When it comes to raising all these boys and dealing with all the messes and activities, I have found great comfort in my late father's words to me:
Don't sweat the petty sis, pet the sweaty!

Things will change when preschool starts. Enjoy your boys, they are great...and nothing gets in the way of how boys' love their mommas!

I am on my way out to do our weekly BIG grocery shopping....yep, 4 gallons of milk at a time here at my house....prepare yourself for this part, they EAT everything in sight once they hit puberty!

I am a stay at home mom with twin 4 year olds, a 6 year old and an 8mo old. I feel your pain! When people call my house they say it sounds like a day care.

It is because they are twins, it is because they are boys and it is because of their age. And yes they do feed off each other. With just one or even two of them it is a lot calmer. But when all 3 are together, chaos!

It has gotten a lot better as they've gotten older. The oldest one started Kindergarten this year, and the twins will be in Pre-K in the fall, so I too am looking forward to some sanity!

My house is crazy, as well! But....probably not as crazy as yours. I have one girl and one boy and no sets of twins. Sometimes the craziness does get to me, but most of the time I love it. I have one friend that is the complete opposite. When I go to her house the drapes are closed, the lights are off, the TV is on, the mom and 5 yr old daughter are speaking quietly and the baby is staring at everyone from her bouncy chair. It is TOO quiet and calm. I can't wait to get back to my house where a CD player is going, another toy is singing, the kids have the tissues pulled out of the box and are in my shoes running up and down the hallway. Not sure if this helps...I think a wild and chaotic household (as long as the kids are still listening and minding) is more fun than a quiet boring one!

Hang in there!! LOL! I have 4 kids (had three in three years, then..surprise!) I hear you about he chaos. I don't have twins, but almost. Somedays I also want to walk out the door. Or, I just stand in the middle of the room and think, "You have GOT to be kidding me.......this is my life?!" :) Although, the craziness can be completely overwhelming, I'm not sure what I'd do with myself if I didn't have it. The ages of your boys...tough. They are old enough to know better for the most part, but young enough to test you on it. Even when they are 11, they'll test you! It does get better. Mine are 11,9 and 8(+11 months). The chaos gets less as far as hitting, biting, etc. The chaos just turns into a different kind of crazy....ballgames, practices, school functions, etc. I would take 3 boys over three girls in a heartbeat, though! That's just me. I'm more of a boy mom than a girl mom. Love my girls, but I just enjoy the boy stuff more. Like I said, hang in there. If you are being consistent and firm, that's the best strategy.
*I once was entering a store with my three kids ages 6 mos. 1 year and 1 1/2 year old. I must have looked frazzled because a lady approached me with a big smile. I thought she was going to give me some encouraging words or tell me I had beautiful children. Nope. She looks at me and says, "You think it's hard now, wait until they are older!" WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE, LADY?! I AM BARELY HANGING ON BY A STRING, HERE AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT TO ME?! I didn't say that, of course, but I never wanted to choke another human more than in that moment. I'm a big fan of humor - it's what gets me through it all. Rent a funny movie to watch by yourself at night. Read a funny book.(who has time to read, right?) Do stuff for yourself to unwind and recharge to start the next day. Good luck fellow chaotic club member!!!!

i'm just sympathizing too...i've got my 8 year old and 2 foster boys 9 (with special needs) and 11 and 2 step kids 16 and 17 and a random array of other kids who are always here. hold on tight and get out yourself as often as you can...: )

I know exactly what you are going thru. I have 5 year old twin boys and an almost 4 year old boy. Much chaos at our house too. The 3-4 year age for the twins was the hardest. I envied parents of just one child. I think twins have a harder time cause they always have someone there to distract them. Mine still have a hard time concentrating on tasks and they are always trying to talk over each other. They have been in preschool for about 6 months now and the improvement is dramatic. Much better at following directions and playing nice with each other. Just hang in there, I promise it will get better. I think its funny how all my friends who have 1 say that the 4 year age is so fun. I always laughed and said it cause you don't have 2. I'm waiting on age 6 or 7. :)

I'm probably not going to add any more insightful info for you at this point, but I can offer sympathy :0. I am mom to 2 boys, ages 9 and 11 and twin girls, who will be 5 this week. There are times when it is so loud, I literally cannot think. It isn't because they are fighting, or yelling, but having that many bodies in an area can create commotion that I think most folks may not understand - especially when they are all doing different activities in that one space. Of course, when it turns into an argument or fighting match, it gets even nuttier. I try to send them to the basement to hang out to muffle to noise. And the influence of my boys being boys has moved on to my girls, so they are as rough and tumble as any boy. They do have "girly" things, but not a ton - Barbie isn't a toy you will find in our house. Boys interact on a much more physical play level - it isn't a discipline thing - boys in general are just built that way. It is fun, though, and when they do sneak up and give me a hug, it really means something. Try wrestling with them - it really is a way to let them know you love them on a level they relate to and enjoy.

I absolutely agree that taking one child out of the mix changes things up dramatically! I especially like the opportunities I have with my mom and in- laws to have my twins apart - not always because they aren't getting along, but because they need that time to be the only one who gets all the attention.

Going to school does help - of course my older boys are in school (but then there is the homework.....) and my girls will wrap up preschool this year and begin kindergarten in the fall - I truly don't know where the time went - so step outside, take a big breath and repeat "I will survive, I will survive, I will survive", then go back in and give everyone a big hug! You are absolutely not alone, and please, no heart attacks!!

I have three boys - ages 12, 10 and 6. Our house is always loud and often chaotic. The boys are well behaved, but they are constantly wrestling, chasing each other, shouting when they talk (which seems to be the only volume level they have), etc. Your house sounds perfectly normal. Well, at least normal to me!

:) People who say there's more "drama" with girls never had only boys! LOL I feel your pain, I have 6, 3 and 16mo old boys...and am expecting boy #4 in the fall. My bro and SIL had almost your exact spread, their 3 boys are now 11 and 9 (twins.) I know my SIL really enjoyed her mom time with the Moms of Twins grp that meets in Twinsburg. A great place to share and commiserate w/other moms of multiples! As for the house being more laid back when they're older, well, hasn't happened yet for my SIL, but she LOVES it! ;) She keeps them very busy now w/sports, something I plan on following her lead with! Boys are def very active!

It is probably because you have twins. I am a twin and my sister and I were a handful. I mean really a handful. We fought, we pulled hair, we ran around, we screamed, cried louder - just to out cry the other one, we laughed loud and played hard. The older one wants to join in on the fun and needs the extra attention, so he'll do all the same things for attention. It is hard to be a sibling of twins. But we were angels at school. I think maybe because we were in two separate classrooms starting in 1st grade. We didn't act out in preschool or in kindergarten just at home. Definitely stay consistent with the discipline. Don't ever back down and don't ever lose their respect. I think that is what my mom did. We were two against one and she lost many times. Pick your battles wisely and don't lose. Separate and conquor or all will be lost. ;) It isn't a boy thing ... I've witnessed many all girl households that were "crazy." Oh, and a daily structure might help. Sometimes your little ones can follow. Breakfast at 8, craft time, outside time, dance party, chore time, bath time, etc. good luck!!

When I need peace and quiet I put the kids in time out in seperate rooms and make them be quiet! But they are older so I'm not sure this will work for little ones. Maybe you can find a friend or family who will take just one boy for a few hours just for a little more temporary peace?

Hi! I can relate, because I have 4 boys aged 7,5 3, & 2. I just went back to work. Staying at home is more than a full-time job, lol! Unfortunately, I think the noise and chaos is here to stay for awhile. It's good that you are on top of the discipline, because that is a never-ending job as well. The only thing is, take some time for yourself. I know it seems impossible, but every Monday when my husband got home from work, I would take an hour or two and go to the bookstore, it helped alot. I would also get in a small workout most days in the mornings after housework was done and while Sesame Street was on.
Take care and just know that you are not alone

I have raised three boys. The first two boys were one year apart to the day. Thsy share the same day of birth. The third boy was four years later with a girl in between. All four were within six years. I now have seven grandsons and 1 granddaughter. Boys are busy people and all with their own persoalities. They are rough and tumble and love to wrestle. My solution to many problems was to get them outdoors as much as possible. They always had so much energy and trying to contain it was often impossible. I found the same was true for my grandsons. Swing set, sand box, lots of balls, eventually a basketball hoop and chores helped me keep my sanity. I did , however ,I loved every minute of it , even on those days when I could have screamed. I also insisted on rest time after lunch. I did not care if they went to sleep but we all had to rest. On thier beds with a book, or quiet activity. No talking etc. I always said that they may not have needed the rest but I did. One hour of quiet did not hurt anyone.

I have 4 boys 10, 9, 4, 2 (soon to be 3 in 6 weeks). I work full time out side the home which somedays is more rest than staying at home. So I can relate to you feeling of wanting to escape. Just let me say - No heart attacks allowed! Keep with the discipline. When things get a little hairier than I prefer, I make sure that they have their chores done or I make some up to keep them all busy and this can also help to seperate them. Outside time is the best. The back yard is littered with balls, chalk, and anything else I can think of to keep them busy. I have also instilled team work in all 4 boys and when things get chaotic, especially while trying to to accomplish something I remind them that "if we aren't a team we aren't anything'

I look back on days that have been totally insane at the moment and grin, because whether it was a learning experience or just plain chaos, we did it together.