My House Is a Mess! - Kansas City,MO

K., I understand exactly how you feel. The other day I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and got some utility bins, there are all different colors and styles. Put them on the tables and dressers and all over the house. You can clean off the table in just a second by throwing everything in there. It has helped me out a lot. The when you have time you can go through them and clean them out once in a while. It makes the house not look so cluttered.
Good luck but just to let you know with kids the house is ALWAYS going to be a wreck. I have 3 boys 9, 13, 14 and they keep me running constantly!!!

Hi K.!

I really like Flylady.net. There's a lot of information there, so don't get overwhelmed. Just jump and get started. She's the only way I keep my house clean. Good luck!

Hi K.!! I know EXACTLY how you feel!! I highly recommend flylady.com also!! You can sign up for free & will help you get on track. Babysteps!!!It has helped me so much!. Also, my kids are out of the house now, so remember, the dishes can wait, little ones are grown in a flash, enjoy them NOW!!! Good luck, you can do it! C. C.

Well,you have had some great responses!! I am checking out Flylady.com myself :-)

But, being a perfectionist- I have really really had to work to be okay with everything not being perfect all the time. I try to include our son in cleaning tasks-- that way he feels like mommy is paying attention to him AND I get some work done. It doesn't go nearly as quick as when I do it alone; but, it's a heck of alot more fun!!

Pick up as you go.
Declutter your house (shelves, closets, drawers)
Buy containers, totes, toy boxes to hold stuff.

I don't clean very often, but I pick up as I go. One toy box in living room holds all the toys allowed in there. All others go in her room. I pick up the kitchen every day and wipe down counters and dust-mop the floor once a week - usually Sat AM when she's watching TV. These are the two rooms visitors are most likely to see. Hubby has his chores, he does the trash and typicaly empties the dishwasher before I can get to it. So that helps. I also have a very light weight sweeper stored in the coat closet I can pull out and sweep an area very quickly, without lugging my big sweeper up and down the stairs.

The other rooms get attention about every 2-3 weeks. Typically I spend a few hours one sat or sun rushing around picking up and spot cleaning while the hubby takes her out somewhere. A Saturday shopping trip to Sam's + lunch usually gives me enough time! :-)

But the BIG thing I do that helps? I declutter the house. I don't hesitate to put things we aren't needing into an annual garage sale or put into a storage tote something I want to keep but we aren't using. I go through my daughter's room about every 6 months and walk out with BOXES of toys and clothes she has outgrown. (Again, kids being entertained elsewhere by someone else makes this go faster!) This is more difficult to do if you plan on having other kids, or want to save a toy for when your younger ones grow up, but if it's broken or duplicate or whatever, either throw, donate, or sell. McD toys and treat bag toys and all those little freebies take up a lot of space. Save the ones they still use and get rid of the rest. Their closets should only have clothes/shoes that fit or will fit. The other rooms I 'thin out' once a year. This allows me to have a specific space for specific things, so I do pick up/put away instead of just shoving it into a pile.

It does work. I work full time and commute 1 hour each way so it's not like I have all day to walk around the house picking up. But I'm sure I can improve what I do so I'll check out the sites that were mentioned by other Moms!

Good Luck.

I was the same way. I found that working on it every day little by little works best. I do 20-30min of housework monday-friday. I made a daily and weekly cleaning chart and put it on the fridge. It serves as three purposes. 1. to remind me to do something, 2. I check off what I have done after I do it (this give me a sense of accomplishment), and 3. Now that it is on the fridge my husband knows what I do with part of my day and he is helping out more than he already was.
As for short cuts:
-alka-selzer in your toliet bowls. If you let them sit for 20 min they will help take the ring away.
-swiffer cloths. They are great for the floors and a quick dusting. I give one to my 15mo. daughter and she will help mommy wipe off the tables.
-clean your shower and tub once a week when you are in the shower, then spray with daily shower spray everyday. If you can keep these thing up high (hang on your shower curtain rod the supplies will already be there as a reminder)
I found that after I did a thourough cleaning one time it has been so much easier to keep up with everything.
I changed a few things I do daily:
- never leave the house or go to bed with dirty duishes in the sink. I do them right away or put them in the dish washer.
- swiffer or sweep my kitchen/entry way everyday, or at least every other day.
- clear off the kitchen table before I go to bed. (our table used to be the catch all for everything.)
- sort thru the mail everyday. I have a mail basket. I go thru mine and put my husbands in the basket.
Hope this helps. It has really helped me. Like I said I have a 15mo. and we are expecting twins in Sept. I had to do something that would put me in a routine, so I could manage everything once the twins are born

flylady.net (sign up for the emails or it won't work)
feather duster
do dishes every day
do one load of laundry every day
even 5 minutes doing something is better than nothing
teach kids to give you time by setting a timer (start with small amounts and increase) and doing a chore

First of all, don't worry so much about it. I'm always a little freaked out when I visit one of my aunts. Her house is always so perfectly clean... My niece asked me, during one of her parties,if people actually lived in that house or if it was some kind of fancy rental place you could have parties at.

Your friends should understand: Having kids means having a permanent mess on your hands. That doesn't mean it's ok for things to get filthy, but there's really nothing wrong with clutter. Also, have the kids help some! My one year old already loves being Mommy's Little Helper. She puts things in the trash for me, puts her toys in the toy box and even puts up some of the clothes. Kids love to an important part of the household. And that means you can make some of the housework fun for yourself as well as the kids. That's a huge stress relief right there!

Also, use a drop off laundry service if you can find one. They're usually very reasonably priced, you can bring your own laundry soap to use if you want (I do.) and they are a real life saver. I probably save myself about five hours worth of time for a measly 10 bucks a week. More than worth it.

I highly recommend www.flylady.com and check with the library to get her books. I was never good at keeping the house in order but now it always looks great for company. This despite me working around 60 hrs per week outside the home, running the kids to their activities in the evenings, and volunteer work. Everyone at our house has chores too. The kids always fold their own laundry, match up everyone's socks, empty all the waste cans into a large bag to take out for trash day, put their dirty dishes into the dishwasher. If toys are left in the formal living room, they are mine and have to be bought back with chores or cash. I guarantee that one works!!! :-)

I often feel the same way. I know lots of ways to keep a pretty darn clean house. But sometimes you just have to decide between the perfect house and quality of life.

So let's break it down. How much time do you watch tv? Do you get tired at the end of the day and veg out for an hour or more? I'm not going to say to stop doing that. But, clean on commercials. I can't tell you how much I can do in 5 minutes if I really put myself into it.

Then there's other ways of helping by never, EVER leaving a room without picking something up. This is just a cardinal rule for me and I try hard to teach it to the kids as well.

Your 6 year old and 3 year old should NOT be allowed to start one activity without putting away the first. If they do, you stop everything they are doing mid way and make them go back and pick up.

If your kids hate picking up you don't feed them until they do. You have to be absolutely consistent about this period. It only takes a few days of waiting a very long time for lunch before they learn to pick up.

How do you do when your cooking? My mother drives me crazy when she'll get out numerous cans, open them up and leave them laying around. She'll leave out the condiments, seasonings, bread and on and on without picking them up while things are boiling, baking etc. I never put a meal on the table without my stove and counters being cleaned before I serve the meal.

I don't mind dishes being unwashed if they are rinsed. So after a meal the dishes are rinsed and table washed and chairs washed down. This is so important. Wash the tables, especially the nasty ridges where kids put their hands all over it, the chairs too and the crevices every day. Otherwise, you end up taking hours and hours to run around and fix that.

The bathrooms.. Do something with every visit. Shine a mirror, sweep a floor, wipe down the handles, wash down the toilet etc. Do this every time you hit the restroom and your bathroom doesn' get too bad.

Vacuuming.. Do this 2-3 times per day. There's no reason what-so-ever to put it off. Once you are in the habit you will simply have clean floors. No carpet? Even better. Sweep several times per day.

It's a lot easier to stay on top of things than it is to get caught back up.

Laundry.. Do you have your own machines? If so, put in a load upon waking up. Fold that load and put another through during nap time. At night, fold that one and put another through and fold some clothes while watching tv. Wash at least one persons bed sheets every 3-5 days and the beds will stay clean without it becoming an all day washing marathon.

Organizing.. This is my WORST area. I try so hard to do something every day. It can be one shelf in the fridge. It could be one drawer anywhere in the house. It could be one shelf in a closet.

Toys.. Absolutely throw out anything broken or potentially dangerous and toys they don't play with the right way. If they are having more fun dragging them around the house than playing with them it's time to reconsider the way they spend their time. This is a constant struggle in my daycare. Lots of people want to see tons of toys. I'd rather kids spend their time learning how to play with the toys. There is room for creativity. But let's keep it real. A clean house is just as important to a child's development and growth as playing is. No one wants to be responsible for raising a slob!

By all means though, on nice days, throw out all I've just said and say forget about it! Enjoy the time outside and if you have done your job the right way, you won't fall too behind.

Suzi

K., What I do is make it a game for myself and my son who is 5. It seems to help and plus it gives me more time with him and we usually do this after he gets home from pre-school. You will never have a clean house! I have three girls as well. Do a little at a time and then on the weekends make 2 hours of just cleaning and make it fun for you and the kidos. It does help plus gives them resposibilty and the cleaning skills they will need. I hope this helps. Starla Salina, KS

Your girls are old enough to help out with the chores. Have them pick up after themselves and "help" you do laundry and wash the dishes. Instead of letting the kids play and make a mess, allow them to choose one toy or activity. Before they take out another one, have them put up the one they were playing with. Store their toys and books at a height and place where they can reach them so they can learn to put them up.

Instead of always trying to run around and clean, I let my daughter "help" me. This allows me to get things done while she is being entertained. She helps me put the clothes in the dryer and I allow her to put dishes and her plasticware in the dishwasher. When I vacuum, she takes out her toy vacuum and follows me around. If I'm cleaning the kitchen or bathroom, I give her a clean sponge and direct her to wipe an area or surface that is safe for her. I think you would be surprised at how many things you can get done when you let your kids help you. They will have fun cleaning and grow up knowing how to clean up after themselves. Good luck!

I know the feeling. You constantly feel like your house is a mess and are always finding something to clean. It seems like the second you get one room or chore done and start on the next one, the room or chore needs to be cleaned again! It's like they are under your feet constantly and are trying to keep the house a mess. Don't stress out. People are very understanding about having kids and what a mess they can make. Here is some good advice though... I got this from my mom...
1. Make cleaning fun! Kids at that age want to see a reward for doing something good, so have them help you. Don't reward them with food, but with love or even pennies. You could get them each a piggy bank and every time tey help mom with something, put a nickle in thier bank and tell them that at the end of the week, they can go to Wal-Mart or something and get a new toy. They'll love it!
2. Rotate toys. Go and buy a tote for each of your kids. Let your hubby take the kids out one night for a couple of hours and give each kid only 5 or 6 toys they can play with. Put the rest in totes and store them away. This minimizes clutter. After about a month, let them have thier daddy time again and change the toys again! It's like having new toys!
3. As for keeping things clean, I always say clean as you go. When you make dinner, wash the pans as soon as you're done with them. Have that soapy water ready for when you are done with the skillet.
4. Keep things organized to avoid clutter. Remember, a place for everything, and everything in it's place.
You can buy some really nifty flat top wicker baskets with lids and put a coupe together to make a coffee table. This way you have a place to put things, but also have a place to store toys and other things.
5. Get a good routine down with your kids. It will make your life and thiers a lot easier. Make sure you have a set nap time, bed time, and cleaning time. I reccomend the cleaning time at least 2 times a day, preferably right before nap and right before bed.
6. Also, if you are embarrased when people come over, tell your friends and family to please call before coming. If you want an excuse to tell them, just say "In case I'm a mess." This way, they don't know if you're talking about your house, your kids, or yourself, lol. That's what I do.
All in all, I would say a good routine is key to keeping a clean house. Good luck and God Bless hun!

First declutter your house of all the knick knacks, stuff and toys. I only leave about a laundary basket size of toys out at one time. And switch out the toys. It so much easier for my son to clean up, plus he gets excited when we switch out the toys.

Also don't try to clean your whole house at one time. Pick a day for deep cleaning for each room. And just "tidy" up as you go. Don't allow yourself a "junk" draw, closet, etc. I find if I live by the rules of Everything Has It's Place, it's so much easier to keep clean and organized. Make cleaning fun! Turn on the radio and get the kids involved. Set the timer and see who can "beat the timer" As far as keeping up on the laundry, set a hamper in each room and when they get full wash, dry and fold them. This is a great way to get your 3 year old involved, she can help sort the clothes by color, pouring the soap in, etc. My son's job is matching the socks up. And now that he's older he folds his own clothes, he loves it.

Of course get your hubby involved too.

Maybe have your kids do chores (pick up their toys and their rooms). I usually do my stuff when my daughter naps and when is down for the night (which is anywhere between 8-9pm). I know cleaning up is the last thing you want to do at night, but it helps from the clutter build up. I also do some cleaning while my daughter plays during her bath time (like clean the bathroom). Just some suggestions. Hope that helps! Good luck to you!

I'd say your 2 oldest are old enough to help with chores. Cleaning the table, picking things up. Your oldest may even be able to help fold/hang laundry??
I only have 1 child, but I do have some things to share. Like mentioned, we choose 1-2 days a month to really deep clean (dust, clean entry way, mop,etc) and then just tidy up when we need to. As far as my kitchen, I straighten up and clean the counters each morning while my little guy eats or watches something on TV(it keeps him occupied for a moment). Laundry, if you have lots to do, try doing 1-2 loads a day. It won't seem so overwhelming to try and do it all in one day.
With the toys, I agree with the 1 laundry basket idea. We have a small basket full in our living room and the rest are back in a playroom, so either we just shut the door or people deal with the toys since we're not in that room.

Hi K.,
I'm gonna start with get yourself and the kids on schedule.
Here is ours

The 3 younger kids anyway..
7:00 am kids get up get dressed and ready for the day, even in the summer.
8:00 am breakfast
(while they are eating i'm doing the what little dishes were from the night before and washing the ones we've used for breakfast.
10:00 am morning nap (your 9 month old might take a nap here) usually 45 mimutes or so (this is enough time to sweep a floor, switch over laundry or start one, put up one.
11:00 am I start lunch, we eat by 11:30, I let the kids stay up one hour after lunch. while they are eating i'm doing the dishes
12:30- 2:30 naptime (here again take 30 minutes or so and get a chore done) and a break for you.
3:00 pm snack.
At 4 pm I try to get one thing cooked or started cooking for dinner usually the meat (all of my daycare kids leave by 5:30 or so. Once everybody is gone I get started on the rest of dinner.
We eat by 5:30 or so. While I'm cooking dinner, I'm washing the dishes I have used and I make sure the kitchen is clean before we sit down. My 2 younger kids help set the table, (they get out the forks, spoons, paper plates, whatever we need), put the condiments out on the table that we need, and put pot holders on the table for me. My older son clears the table for me while I start the dishes
When my husband is home (he works 2 jobs) we are a tag team, whatever we are doing I do half and he does half. For instance bathtime for the 2 younger kids- I will get their water started he will wash their hair and bodies, one will get out and I help or get that one dressed then we go brush that ones teeth and do the same for the next one and it's off to bed by 8:30 - 9:00pm. Here is where I do a mad dash cleaning I start in the kitchen do whatever needs finished up in there, make sure the dining room is clean, then on to the living room then i'm done. We have hard wood floors so every 2 days i swiifer, dry ones catches the dirt and dust, twice a week we mop.
What I live by is Don't need it, don't want it, don't use get rid of it. I have very few nick nacks, hate dusting them.
Laundry- I do this every 3 days whcich for us is about 3 loads of laundry a day and each room has a hamper in it. I have my 2 younger kids help put laundry away, my 15 yr old does his own he can start the washer and dryer.
My son has chores which are trash detail (emptying the trash cans in the house and on wednesday taking the cans to the street and thursday bringing the cans back up.
The only thing I could say is make a list of ALL the chores that need done big and small divy them up between you and dad and give the small ones to your younger kids.
Also for the ones you and your husband are going to do decide how often they need done and which days to do them on. Are deep cleaning days are on friday night. Then saturday and sunday we have nothing to do but be lazy and spend time with our kids. I call it your "groove" every one has one and as far as the schedule tailor it to "your household" and what goes on everyday see if that helps you. And remember what you don't get done today will be there tomorrow. Oh well if theres a little dirt in the corner or the table needs cleaned off. Don't sweat the small stuff life is way to short to be concerned about it. Enjoy your days of being a mom, I hope you find your "groove" :) W. mom of 4 and a home child care provider.

We have the same exact problem. I can't do it all but my husband doesn't care, and then when people came over, it was a rush to try to hide things or clean things as quick as we could at the last minute, but that never lasted. I hated it when people dropped by. Here's what we did...I had a heart to heart with hubby. I explained that when the house is such a mess, I can't function and it's really bothering me. We both agreed to write a list of all of the house hold chores and how often they need to be done. Then we deligated. The girls have chores they must do (with a chore chart) and each of us compromised on the chores we would do. We made it fair so neither of us had more than the other (my husband works at home, so he takes more responsiblity than if he worked outside of the home). So anyway, I typed up a schedule and posted it on the fridge so I know what to do for the day. My husband put his on his computer and it pops up a reminder every time he brings up his email. We also agreed to be accountable to eachother. We can ask the other if a certain chore was done and not get offended by it. I hope this helps!
C.

I know exactly what you mean! I have four kids and my house is never clean. I have a friend that swears by flylady! I haven't tried it yet but I have finally come to conclusion that I am going to have to. www.flylady.com Goodluck!!

Right now my house is a bit of a mess but normally it's pretty clean. If you can get your house to the way you would like it to be then just work a little bit everyday on one room or one chore. I prefer to do one room a day so one room is always sparkling. I have a friend who prefers to do all the dusting one day, then the vaccuuming one day, etc. So whatever works for you. Normally it only take me 20-30 minutes to clean one room. Your 6 and 3 year olds are old enough to help now. The 6 year old can take out garbages from the bathroom(s) or bedrooms and put dishes in the dishwasher if you have one. The 3 year old can help out by dusting with a sock on her hand. Good luck! I hope I helped.

You sound like your stuck in Chaos (can't have anyone over syndrome) which is part of the perfectionism we all get caught up in. I solved my problem by subscribing to FlyLady.net. I have her book Sink Reflections as a check list when my husband helps out on the weekend. It really has cut back on the amount of time I have to invest in housework because I can do it at 2-15 minute intervals instead of trying to start one room then getting sidetracked and spending all day to get back to it.

K.:

I know what you're saying1 I valua a very clean house too, but i realized that soemtimes I just can't be wonder-woman, super-maid, and super-mom too. I came to the conclusion that it can't be perfect all the time becuse we ashumans, aren't perfect all the time.

You may just have to let it go once in a while to spend some more quality time with your kids. I do daily maintenance, like dishes, picking up laundry, etc. everyday, but i save the big stuff for one day a week. I clean the whole house (toilets, windwos, dusting) once a week, generally on Friday, so I don't have to send my weekend doing it. I save Saturdays for fun family activities and Sundays we don't do any house work.

I ued to stress out about it getting messy, but then I realized that my kids won't remember if their house was clean when they were little, but hhey will remember that they spent a lot of time having fun with their mom. It sounds like you have a great husband that will understand if it isn't perfect a couple of days b/c you spent the day doing fun things to enrich your children's lives. If you have people unexpectely drop by, just tell the you've been out with the kids and the house is kid of a mess. If you're not comfortable with that, ask them to call first, so if it is a little messy, you can ask them to visit another time.

Just realize K., you're only human. You're a mom of three small kids and life is messy. You can't keep it perfect and keep your sanity.

Try picking up one room per day. Or during nap time, set aside one task to complete.

Also, get your kids involved. Have a race to see who can pick up the most toys by the time a timer goes off. You could pick a color each day and pick up everything that color each day. Play "I Spy" and whatever they spy, they have to pick up.
There are a ton of ways to have fun with it.

I used to really freak out about our house, thinking that everyone else in the world had a clean house. I was talking to my mom about this, and she made 3 points. One, when I was 3 years old, our house stayed clean because we didn't have much to clean. Two, different people have different priorities, if having fun and living life are a priority, sometimes a clean house is just going to have to wait. Three, remember, you have a 3 year old! 3 year olds are messy. Children are messy. Do your best to teach them to pitch in, do your best to do the things they can't do, and learn to let go of the rest. Be okay with the fact that your children probably aren't going to clean things as well as you. I have friends that warn me before I come over, "My house is trashed." I get over there, and there may be a little clutter here and there but it's not bad. I don't judge them for it. I'm glad they trust me enough to invite me over when there house isn't perfect.
One of the things that really helps me get things picked up quick is having dish washing bins (just little flat bins that are 1.99 at Big lots) I'll spread them out and throw mail that needs sorting in one, toys in another, electronic gadgets in another, etc. Then take the bins to their destination. Makes picking up easier in kid's rooms, too.

Go to www.orgjunkie.blogspot.com
She has some very helpful tips about organizing your home.

Also, make yourself a schedule and stick with it. I do bathrooms one day, sweep and mop floors another day, dust another day, laundry another day...etc...

AND - I love my cleaning products because they are safe and healthy and non-toxic, so the kids help out when we clean - they love to be my helpers and I love knowing that the products we use won't hurt them or make them have severe allergies or asthma! If you're interested in hearing about what I use, feel free to contact me - I have a website that you can visit at www.healthyhome4family.com I do work the business side of the products, but you wouldn't have to - so don't feel bad if you're not wanting to work from home. Just fill in your info on the form and I can let you know how you could just TRY out my amazingly safe products!