My Grandmother and My 5 Year Old Son

You need to start teaching him, that everyone is different.
That, getting things/treats from someone, does not make someone "better" or worse, than the other.
When my kids were in Preschool, younger than your son, they taught the kids that. And from when my kids were Toddlers, we began teaching our kids that too. ie: they have a VERY generous Aunt that buys them anything. Then we have another Aunt, that is more conservative. But because we always taught our kids that "love" is not based on "things" or what a person buys you all the time... they KNOW... that both Aunts love them and are "FUN" in their own ways. We taught... our kids that. AND we taught them... that "comparing" both Aunts is not nice... that comparing people based on what they buy you or give you, is not, nice or fair.
A child... NEEDS TO be guided... on things like that. It is a life lesson.

Please let Grandma know, that he is also young. And certainly, she should not have to feel that she is "competing" with the other grandparents. If she feels that way, that is.

Then, try ASKING YOUR SON (since he is 5 after all), "why" he is not as friendly... with Grandma now??? Just conversing with him about it. Don't put your judgment in there, just see what HE says.
You need to see, what he says himself, about it. Maybe there is a reason. Or not. But just ASK your son. This has been going on for about 1 year, as you said.

Or, would it be possible... that the other set of Grandparents... bad mouth your Grandmother?????? Sometimes, Grandparents can be petty like that... and try to make a grandchild, like them better over the other one.... by downplaying the other Grandparent, to the child. Of course, this is not nice.

You cannot "force" your son to show more affection to your Grandmother. But if I were you, I would start guiding him and talking to him... about, how everyone is different... but you all are family, and everyone loves him. And love is not shown by just buying things for him all the time. It is also about, just enjoying their company, too, etc.

The shopping and going out to eat probably has a lot to do with it. So will the 'comfort' of her home, how strict she is, and what fun things there are to do there. If she is always the go to babysitter, he may be pushing back from that too. My kids did.

You don't mention what kind of fun things they do
- Make cookies/brownies
- Play board games like Trouble, Chutes & Ladders, Uno, Connect 4
- Read books
- Watch favorite kid movies with popcorn and cocoa.

You could always ask him. He will most probably tell you truthfully.

You can't force a relationship. It may be that he wants to go where the action is, and he can't always "get". I would encourage him to bring things to Great Grandma to do with her and show her and share with her. You might also ask him if there's something wrong and see what he says.

The bribery the other side shows him has a lot to do with this. At 5 his ability to see past the toys and junk food is very limited. Try not to take is personably, and maybe ask the other side to stop spoiling him.

What does he do at your grandmother's house? (could he be a little bored?) My mom is 82 and likes to read books to my son about children and their grandmothers, she bakes pillsbury crescent rolls or biscuits with him or makes jello or pudding. She has the patience to do play do or puzzles with him. She keeps toys there that must stay there (if he is really into match box cars of Legos he needs some that stay there) Try to go on her interests and provide new special books, or puzzles, or crafts or activities that she would LIKE to do with him. Maybe a book like "My Two Grandmothers" would get a discussion started with him about the differences, it could just be her age.....

Your son is five. Just like at five you didn't realize the importance of spending time with grandparents, neither does he. You can't explain living a lifetime with regret for not spending time with her because "lifetime" doesn't really hold any meaning for a five year old. They just can't comprehend it.

Sorry to say that your son is going to want to go where he is entertained the most and going places is entertainment. I'm not saying he want to go where people buy him things, just where people take him out and about.

I don't think you can make him show more affection towards her. He's also 5 and can be bought, that could be what's going on. But I think he'll come around. Just give him a little time.

My girls loved my dad (but then again he always had candy in his pocket) . . my mom used to get hurt. Now that they are older, they are total Nana girls.

I think at 5, you can explain how his actions/lack of affection are effecting her (without making him show it or giving him guilt). Good Luck.

Updated

I don't think you can make him show more affection towards her. He's also 5 and can be bought, that could be what's going on. But I think he'll come around. Just give him a little time.

My girls loved my dad (but then again he always had candy in his pocket) . . my mom used to get hurt. Now that they are older, they are total Nana girls.

I think at 5, you can explain how his actions/lack of affection are effecting her (without making him show it or giving him guilt). Good Luck.