My Ex Husband's New Girlfriend

This is why I will only deal with my ex and not his wife. I know things would get changed around and lies would be told. I give you credit for trying but I would stop immediately and not answer her texts.

You're both putting him in a position to have to choose. I'm sorry, but you don't want to make him choose. She's the one having sex with him! She's got weapons at her disposal that you do not. You're best bet is to stay above it, the way you have been.
It's all well and good to get a long with the new girlfriend. That's what we're told is the grownup thing to do. And of course, it's best for the kids to see grownups getting along.
However, you are dealing with an immature brat that feels threatened by you, The more threatened she feels, the more tantrums she's going to throw. You and he need to have a relationship independent of her. You and he manage the visits. Now, if she wants to get in his ear with her 2 cents, thats thier deal. But bringing a 3rd party into the negotiations is just added headache. You and him are a parenting team. She's just a support player, not a decision maker.
I would not consult her on any scheduling matter or parenting issue. I would not respond to her texts. Forward the ones that are out of line to his phone and tell him to deal with that anyway he sees fit, but tell her to stop playing childish games on your phone.

what else has she done? Could she be suffering from PPD? I've known women to get jealous of husband's first families. I'd not argue w/ her. I don't think u should expect ur ex 2 talk to her- u have no control over their relationship.

Sorry your in this situation. stay positive!!

Any arrangements in regards to your children should be kept between you and your husband, as soon as you got that text you should have called him and addressed it. Being able to talk to her is so that things are cordial for your kids, not to befriend her. Shes young, remember that...she is probably dealing with a lot of insecurity and isnt mature enough to handle this tough situation...

First off...BLOCK her from your cell number and if you can't do that then ignore her, period. Wether she likes it or NOT he is the father of your children so he HAS-NEED'S to be involved. I would also talk to him and let him know how you feel and that you want him to be involved with your kid's, after all it take's two to make a child. Keep letting him know that you don't have time for foolishness and immaturity. Complete non-sense on her behalf. I'm sure he probably has his own issues with her too! He's probably kicking himself in the butt for getting involved with someone like that.

Good Luck!

Well, first thing's first. Your ex-husband's new girlfriend should not be able to dictate whether or not the two of you speak. If you've got children together you obviously need to try to keep an open line of communication. You don't need to be friends, but for everyone's sake you do need to be friendly towards each other.

Honestly, whether she wants to have a relationship with your or not doesn't have any bearing here. You were totally in the right to refuse a last minute change to set visitation just because she felt like going out. I feel like going out on a regular basis, too, but I've got kids so unless I have a sitter, it's just not happening.

My advice is to talk to your ex about it, let him know you're through dealing with her & that the 2 of you will speak to each other in normal, adult conversations regarding the welfare of your shared children, no more, no less.

I don't want to be so direct with you right now but you tell tell her to go to hell. Your time is your time, when it's your ex's time with the children she don't have no say so anymore because of her behavior. You tried to make it right with this lady but she messed up.

You don't need to be her friend, just try and get along with your ex so that you all can have a meaningful friendship when the kids are around.

Make sure that his young girlfriend know that when your children are around her, that she don't step out of bounds and treat them with the upmost respect. Because of her age, I will definitely pay close attention to her and your children behavior.

She is too young and it seems your ex don't know how to handle this lunatic. Get him in line and do it soon. I don't think he knows what he has gotten himself into.

It won't last...

Good Luck

Keep your kids. She seems very immature and may not have been ready to have a child. Something sounds fishy.

Maybe ..... he used to only bash you when you guys all weren't getting along and then when you started to get along... he may have said something nice about you to her or even stood up for you and it could have sent her over the edge. My first husband and I were friends after our divorce for the sake of the kids. I was re-married for years. Right before he died he got a girlfriend that took care of him when he was sick. We became cordial. I thought we would remain friends even after he died. Until she wiped out his bank account and my kids got nothing! I even might have thought that she deserved something but the way she went about getting it totally bindsided me!
Ex's and their girlfriends are a tricky thing. Jealousy can even happen after you have been divorced for many years...
You have a history with your husband that a 22 year old little chickee is probably very threatened by.
I would not try to be too close ... but for the sake of the kids I would try to get along.

Communicate with ONLY your former husband about your children. His girlfriend is neither his wife or your children's step mother. Forget about the texting, speak directly to your former husband, over the phone or in person.

Should they someday marry and you and she can be civil, then fine talk with her. If not keep your conversations short, to the point and only with their father.

Blessings.....

A perfectly good reason why I won't 'deal' with my ex's wife... Even my ex says she's controlling... I might break her in half if I had to deal with her.

I am civil if I have to see her when my ex and her are dropping DD off at my house. That's about as far as it goes.

She maybe has PPD, you don't say how old is the baby, we all know how hard it can get. In the other hand I don't think is an option for you and your ex to talk, you have 2 kids, you need to talk.
I would avoid talking to the girlfriend and deal with my ex, I don't know if your ex is just putting his responsibility of deal with you to his girlfriend or if she is just being jealous.
I can't say that you two should never talk again because after all she is now the mother of your kids's brother, so is better for all of you to try to find some boundaries (not insulting is a big one) and try to keep the conversation between you and her to only the necessary.

Gosh, you are living my life a few years back. She is a child and too immature to try and have an adult relationship with. Unstable.

There's really nothing you can do. Can't change her. As they say...."can't fix stupid", right?

Just make sure she doesn't end up taking any ill will towards you and directing it on the kids. If this relationship is new, a few years or so, she may be on her best behavior. Dealing w step children is a delicate situation and immaturity won't cut it.

Hope your ex is on board. My ex refused to see the light w/ his crazy girlfriend. She could be nasty to my 4 yr. old which infuriated me and he didn't believe any of it.
(He learned his lesson when she ditched him in the middle of the night for a rich oral surgeon though).
Good luck