My Ex Does Not Want Me to Go to a Singles Meet up W/my Girlfriend

If you two are NOT together, and you want to go, then go. But if you *want* to get back together this might just be his deal-breaker.

If you're together, you have no business going to a singles meeting.

If you're not telling people you're together, you have no business being together.

If you're thinking of getting back together, but don't value his opinion, then again, you have no business being together.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, my dear. Pick one.

don't get back with him. he's an ex for a reason, therefore, he has no say in what you do.

I agree--he is an ex for a reason. He is the one who let you go. If you arent in a commited relationship, I dont see whats wrong with going out and having a little fun. Go, enjoy yourself. Who knows, maybe you will meet your prince charming.

I'm pretty sure he's been out on the town... you need to take your turn to go out and have fun with your friend. Who knows - you may meet a much better man! Also - as you've said - he's not your man again yet... so he has no control over your decision, even if he thought he MAY have if you were together.

I agree w/ BF on this one. Would you want him to go if roles were reversed?

why did you tell him???? :) I would tell him as of now we are not together, I want to be and part of us getting anywhere means you need to trust me. this is a good time to start--- tell him you are there to support your friend and thats it. Its too late to cancel, you need to go. Best wishes!
M

I can understand why he doesn't want you to go... if you are focusing on rebuilding your relationship with him why would he want you to go out to an event that is intended to foster romance?

Regardless of your intentions, the others attending the event are there to hit on you. When you get there are you going to announce "I'm just here for moral support!"- probably not b/c you would likely be asked to leave.

He's right, you're not respecting him. If you elect to go, know that you are doing so with a full understanding of his feelings and your decision to do the opposite. You could always offer to meet her for a drink after and "debrief".

Sounds like he's a little controling. If he wants a healthy relationship, he needs to trust that he has nothing to worry about when you go out. No matter where you go.
Keep in mind, sometimes when a person thinks you're going to do something negative or they think your intentions are bad, and there is no reason for them to think these negative things about you, .... it's because they are looking at what they would do themselves.

i would go, you even said you are not interested in meeting anyone and just going to support her that is all. if he has a problem with it then he does not trust you.

A little interesting... on the title, you said EX, but towards the end you said Boyfriend. (I understand that you were once broken up and trying to get together).

I WANTED to answer "who cares what your ex thinks!", but, if you are trying to get back together, REALLY trying- then you probably shouldn't go. It wouldn't be the best start to getting back together.

Your girlfriend should be fine. She is there to meet someone- in fact, she may find herself more comfortable around a guy cause she wouldn't have to worry about the influence of a friend. Just a suggestion.

Well, if you are supposed to be focusing on working things out with your ex, then why go an event that is about meeting new men? You might think you are only supporting your friend, but what if you do meet someone else that you find yourself interested in? Even if you don't, what kind of message are you sending to your ex? Whose feelings are more important to you right now, the ex or the girl friend? And if you really don't want to work things out with your ex, why string him along?

Just how badly are you wanting to get back together with your ex? Seems to me that if you don't want to respect his feelings in this matter then you aren't too serious about getting back together with him. If this is the case then go have fun with your girlfriend and tell him he too has the freedom to go out. It's gotta be a two way street.

It is not a question of who is right, or even if your intentions are not to find a man/hook up etc. Your BF is not liking that you are potentially putting yourself out there, therefore not taking his? interest in getting back together seriously. If you want to salvage your relationship, you might consider not going. He interprets your going as a slap in the face. The best way to view this in his eyes would be to do just that. He seems more vested in saving the relationship than you are which gives you power, and he is helpless to stop it. He needs to trust you, but if his sensitive feelings don't matter, you should probably just cut him loose right now.

This might be a little late. Sorry - I was out of town. But here's what I would have said:

I say - GO. If you find someone else, then you aren't vested in your ex. You might as well know now. And it's not his call. Unless you had serious trust issues in your relationship, it's not his decision about where you go/what you do.

There's no reason you can't go and dance and direct people toward your gf. If your ex is into control, you need to re-think the reconciliation.

I have gone out dancing without my husband with my sister on a couple of occasions and felt odd but still had fun. If you are not looking for some new guy it makes no difference where you and your friend go. he is just afraid that if you see more guys than normal you might figure out he's an insecure wiener. You could met a guy at Walmart, or McDonalds with the kids for snacks. Just because you go to a place where your friend is hoping to meet someone does not mean you are going to be "looking".

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Tough one!!! Reverse the situation ....... good luck