My Daughter Didn't Get Invited

Hi M.,

First Happy Birthday to your dd! I believe it would be wrong not to invite the little girl to your party. I think we want to teach our kids to be forgiving beings and we need to start with ourselves. I can easily see why you'd feel she slighted your daughter but in all fairness maybe you don't know exactly why. Maybe she was limited on guests or a budget for throwing a party. I think she definitely should have invited your daughter but the girls shouldn't pay the price for their Mom's oversight. I think party invites can get so tricky so I feel your pain. Bottom line if your daughter wants her there and they get along then she should be invited. Good luck!

Is there perhaps an age difference that might explain it, or maybe there's a limited number of spots. What if you brought it up in conversation to the parents that your daughter is upset? Just ask w/ a sense of humor and I'm sure there's a good reason.

Hi M.
I say invite her, otherwise you will be doing the same as she is. Show her kindness, that here is no hard feelings, and she will eventually she will show kindness back. One must LEAD to kindness. This may be your turn.
Have a nice party
Mrs. p

Stop the silliness. INVITE THEM BOTH!
I hope it is a fantastic birthday party.

Is it wrong? I dont know. Is it spiteful, yes.. The problem with this, is we dont know if the girl was only allowed a certain #, or if something happened yesterday to make her mad at your daughter etc..Last year I had a brownie troop of 25 girls. Some of the girls were tight knit, always excluding the other girls from bday parties etc, but making a big production about the party in front of the non invited girls. My daughter and a couple of the non invited girls were very upset, til I sat them down and tried to explain the situation after which I felt much better also. I was hurt that my daughter wasnt invited also, but thats reality/life unfortunately. I think you could turn this into a lesson for your daughter. If it really upsets you, talk to the mom, not because you want her to change and invite your daughter, but because ou are wondering why. K.

Two wrongs don't make a right- Do what's in your heart-

I think if they all play together it would be wrong to only invite one. Unless there is a big age difference between your daughter and the one that would not be invited. I would be the better neighbor and invite all siblings that are age appropriate.

t

Sorry to hear that, I'm sure your daughter is heartbroken. Take her somewhere special the day of the party so she won't see the kids coming and going.
But what I would do is sit down with your daughter and ask her who she wants to invite to her party. If she invites this little girl then your daughter is obviously a better person. I would leave it up to the kids because us parents can be very vindictive when it comes to this stuff.
Good luck

Hi
I also agree with the other Moms on this topic - take the high road and invite both the girls to your daughters party.

J.

Hi M.,

Maybe the mom felt uncomfortable inviting/obligating you to come to so many parties. Is this girl older than your daughter? Age inappropriate games? Maybe she's tight on her budget and made a bad choice in not including your daughter. Many people have lapses in class when fighting a budget. Either way she should have invited your daughter- it was inconsiderate but I would blow it off, take it off the "scorecard", and invite her to your party anyway. Maybe next year she'll come to her senses and learn a lesson in grace from you.

M.

I agree with the other moms. Invite both of the girls. They were not rude to your daughter--their mother was! Take your daughter somewhere special during the neighbor girl's party. I was very hurt by a situation like this--much more than my son was. Consider the source and when it is your turn, have a great party.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime!!! You can rasie your daughter to be gracious and genuine without imposing your own biases on her. Just ask her sho she wants to be at her party. If she likes both girls and wants them to be ther, invite them both. It's her party, and should have nothing to do with who went to whomever else's party another time. Only us petty adults keep score of things that should be fun, like parties. Honestly, we all know keping track of these "obligations" is exhausting. Don't let your little girl do it too. Just let her have fun.

I agree with all of the moms. I also think that you should teach your daughter that friends are not that important at a young age. I think this is so as she grows and things happens she won't be so hurt. She will know how to handle things and roll with the punches. Everyone is not your friend. It is not the little girls faught. I think it is the mother's faught. Don't try to figure out why or who, but make sure you let your daughter know how special she is and it is the other little girls loss.

I also agree with the other moms invite both girls. Are you sure that your daughter wasn't invited to the party? Maybe it was a mistake. But if not, you be the better person and feel better about it. I am not sure if I miss read one of your responses about telling your daughter that friends aren't important at her age. But that is just not true. All of us benefit from friendship, no matter what age. I might be the exception, but my best friend and I met (and have been friends) since we were 8 years old. We are now 31.