My Best Friend Just Had Baby 3 Months Wants to Leave Her Baby Father to Come Ga

i would say that the predicament she's in now is caused by not having a solid long term plan - having a baby with someone she's not married to ensured that there was not even the pretense of permanence in her/the baby's life. giving her a way to escape the predicament she herself (and boyfriend) created lets her continue in the immature fashion that caused the current problem she's facing.

i'd offer her support, but allowing her to make a mess of your life because hers is a mess wouldn't be the most sensible thing for you to do. one day she will have to grow up and realize that the decisions she makes affect her life (and her child's) but they are HER decisions that caused HER problems. SHE'S in control.

on a second note - i pray that you and your boyfriend will give your child the stability and permanence that marriage would bring. bless him for treating your son well, but imagine the heartache your son would suffer if this second father figure were to leave.. God would look favorably on both of you!

God bless

I think I would stay out of that one. Its nice to help people but that is quite a load on you. If she has family in Alabama she should be able to ask them for help. It isnt your responsibility. There are kind ways you could tell her....or you could just say you dont think it is a good idea because you are about to move.
?
Goodluck.

I have to agree with the other ladies ESPECIALLY Judy! These are her bad choices, she needs to grow up and deal with them instead of running away. She just had a baby so her hormones are most likely screwed up and she is over reacting. She needs to talk to her boyfriend and find out why the clothes are in there, it may be perfectly innocent and heck with her having new mom brain the clothes may be her own clothes that have been in there so long she's forgotten she even owns them.

Maybe she should see about moving in with her family

Oh sweetie, that sounds like alot for you to take on. I know you want to help your friend but you also need to take care of yourself and your situation. Yes, you need to show your friend support but you can't necessarily "fix" this situation for her. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have plans and are moving forward. Could you continue to do that with your friend and her child(ren?) in tow? Maybe the best thing for her to do would be to stay with her family so they can help her. Please look closely at YOUR situation and don't do anything to jepordize it. Good luck to you.

No, she needs to stay in AL and work this out on her own with the father. She is a mom now, and as you know as well, is a big responsibility so she needs to grow up and learn how to deal with the little road blocks that life throws at us from time to time. And she needs to figure out now that she can't run away at the drop of a hat everytime they get into a fight either. And if he ran out and did in deed cheat on her, well, he needs to grow up too. If anything, tell her that they need to seek marriage/couples counceling so they can at least be civil to each other for the baby's sake.

Good luck!
S.

Tell her that you love her but NO. You have too much on your plate to add any more. She needs to get the help from her family or get counseling and try to work things out with the baby's father. You must put yourself and your child first. V.

Your friend needs to be sure she really wants to leave. If she's in an abusive (emotionally or physically) situation, she should.

Here's the hard part. It sounds like you aren't in a place in your life that you can "take her on". I would offer her emotional support and maybe even help her to find resources to get help if she needs them but I'd let her know that you guys can't have her live with you guys.

I think she should stay where her family is. Maybe she and the boyfriend can repair the relationship/ maybe not. But letting her move away from family to live with you would, in my opinion, be a mistake that could possibly result in damage to your friendship.

Take me off the e-mail list!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell her you love her but this is not a soluition running to you about this problem is needs to be a mother an take care of her child and her interest. Say bye bye to him and move on or get counseling and work it out with him or say bye bye and still get counseling but not live with you. If her family is willing to help her she needs to be around them and not burden you with her situation and since she's not of the right mind you need to guide her what would be better then running to you and your family. The problem with these situations is the friends disrupts your life then makes up with boyfriends and leaves to run back into his arms (most ) of the time. Either way you and your boyfriend have your life and cannot take care of her unless you are rich and have lots of bedrooms and don't mind otherwise she's immature to really want to burden a friend....tell her she can call you will listen and that's the best you can do at this time. Best of luck

D., sometimes by not helping someone, you actually are helping them. This may be one of those times. Your friend is panicking. She is obviously hurting and wanting to escape and she is asking you and your boyfriend to stop your life in its tracks and change it all for her benefit. This is not necessary for you to do this. She is a grown woman and has made her own decisions so far, and you make your own decisions. If you are planning to move, then just tell your friend that although you love her dearly, you cannot provide her a place to live at this time. You owe no explanations to her for it. All you must do is give her emotional support by listening to her problems and helping her come up with solutions to resolve issues in her life, if you can, but you do not owe her a home to live in or an escape route to get away from her life as it is now. Feel free to tell her that you cannot help her out by giving her a place to live, but you are always there to give her a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, but that is all! If she is angry at you for saying that, then she is not your true friend and you are better off without her in your life. Live your life and let her live hers. You have a child to think about and that is your only true responsibility. You are not responsible for your friend's problems or the solutions to those problems. She will work it out, but you must say no to being her escape route. This is also what is best for her, too.