My Apology (No Question)

Updated on July 14, 2010
F.O. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
4 answers

Hello All, Please don't think I am not taking into consideration your feedback regarding my posts. I don't mean to come off as stubborn, or close minded. Some of you were spot on about being in pain. The pain is looking in my daughter's eyes when she stares into mine and all I see is love and that's all I want for her is love because she's innocent and helpless and needs her parents' support. As a baby she knows affection and I know that she is young, but seeing her miserable with her dad/my husband is heartbreaking because it doesn't have to be.

As for him, he said he understands why I did what I had to do: Ask him to leave because he brought me to a breaking point. What I didn't mention was the fact I suggested sites like babycentral, parentsweekly to him so that he can get perspective (weekly emails) and see that other father's struggle to, but he never showed any interest. It was frustrating but him not being here and neglecting the baby has brought peace to my mind and gave him a reason to pause and self reflect.

However, he said that he wants my affection, too and would like for us to have "our time".

So, there you have it, he was feeling neglected by me, while I'm busy in auto pilot catering to the baby, he didn't know how to express his feelings because he didn't want to come off as needy, which he is.

He has agreed to giving me more time. In the interim, he is going to look into joining a father's support group. His idea. :0)

Sometimes drastic measures yield positive results. In our case, there is hope.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all.

More Answers

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

you know you better than anyone else. you need to worry about you and your family...I am glad that you did that, listened to your heart/needs and not what everyone else has to say. we dont know you and are just giving your our opinions I would hate to think you would not listen to your gut and just what we type. glad you did not
oh and as a first time mom w/ a new baby it is really really hard on a marrige, no matter how involved and wonderful your husband is. Honestly I have the best hubbie/dad that I could ever ask for and since we have had a kid it has been different/hard/all about the baby.....you will get through it...hang in there. xo

3 moms found this helpful
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E.D.

answers from Boston on

I hope you guys reignite the love you have!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

F., my heart is feeling warm right now. You did the right thing! I feel good about this post. It does show understanding and compassion.

1 mom found this helpful

K.J.

answers from Nashville on

I am so glad things are at least starting to look up for you! (On a selfish note, it give me some hope for my situation, too!!) I think you did the right thing. I understand that a lot of people say not to neglect your husbands and what not, but my child will always be first. My husband will be a close second, but when he lashes out at my baby, she is the one I am going to defend and protect hands down!

I really hope things work out between you. I firmly believe that a daughter really needs her father in her life. (However, I agree that no father or little father is better than a neglectful or abusive, even if only emotionally, father)

Good luck with everything. Feel free to message me any time you want or need. I know what you are going through and even if I can't help much, I will always listen. Sending love your way!!

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