My Almost 10 Yr. Olds Attitutde Change

C.,

I also have an almost 10 year old. She'll be 10 in September. To be honest at first I was going to say hormones. But as you described her behavior, I think it could be more. Maybe something is going on at school. You need to sit down and talk with her, because, believe me, even at that age they start pushing drugs and everything. So, maybe have a mommy and me day, do some shopping, have lunch out, and really talk! It's a less formal environment, and I know my daughter open up to me better when it doesn't seem like I'm making her.

I wish the best!
L.

Did you ever think about maybe speaking to her teachers? Maybe there is something going on in school that's bothering her, whether it be getting teased or who knows what. Children can be cruel at times. My daughter is now 13 but when I met my husband about 4 years ago it was hard on her. It was always her and I doing things together and she started to act sad, I guess is the word I'm looking for. Needless to say I knew there was something wrong. I tried to give her more attention and it just didn't seem to help. I called her school and spoke to a few teachers and explained the situation, that after nine years of being single I was dating for the first time in my daughter's life. Believe it or not the teachers helped, there was also a school counselor who she was able to talk to which also helped. Sometimes your kids need someone to talk to but it's not you. By the way my daughter and I are doing great. After speaking with a counselor she became her good old self. She is 13 and the boys are flocking to my door but that's another story. Good luck.

Hi C.,
Sounds like you are a great mom and its so good that you noticed the change in your daughter. Hormones, yes is a big reason for what you are seeing. It will be hard from now to about 14 or 15, and it will change again. You need to stay consistant with rules and dicipline even more now, or things could take a turn in a bad direction. Stay strong, give her lots of love and help her when she stumbles, she will pull away, its scary for them and peer presure is playing a part now too. You can not compare her to your son they will be very different, she is her own uniqe individual and all that training you gave her as a toddler will help during these years ahead. Some bonding where you two can talk is great shopping, out for an ice cream, read a book at night together before bed, etc. It sound like you have a good strong home she will do fine and so will you!

A little about me:
I had boy, girl, boy and girl and I am a pediactric nurse so I have been through and see a lot of what you are going through now. I hope all will turn out well for you and your family.

My dd turned 10 in May and about 2 months ago my husband and I noticed a huge attitude change in her, I could have written the same words you have above. She was sweet and cuddly one day and the next Little Miss Attitude....it was like Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde with her. We werent the only ones noticing either....people in my family were wondering what as up with her. One day we had family from out of state over and she was rolling all over the floor and we could see her underwear.Her Aunt recomended her to stop because she could see her underwear....then later she was standing up my Aunt and Uncle were talking to her and occasionally she was lifting her shirt up high enough to see her chest (which her nipples are growing out now and I bought her a bunch of sports bra type training bras and she didnt have it on) and I kept signalling her to put her shirt down and finally my Aunt went over and whispered in her ear that she shouldn't do that. Not too long after that they left and I askd her why she was doing these things? It wasnt the first time I noticed her doing it but it was usually around the house in private and I told her not to do it then. This time she looked at me, yelled, "I never can do anything right!" I told her never to raise her voise at me again and go to her room till she calmed down and we would have a talk. She ran to her room and slammed the door and was in there screaming and crying. She had never raised her voice ever at me before or ran to her room and slammed the door screaming behind it. This screaming fit went on for an hour...her dad went in after she calmed down and asked what that was about and she said cause it made me feel better. I mentioned this to my sister over the phone that night and she sent me a link to the book: The Feelings Book: The Care & Keeping of Your Emotions (American Girl) so I looked at it on Amazon.com and bought it along with the book The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl). Her and I read the first one together privatly for a week. I told her whenever she is feeling upset or any emotions she isn't used to, she can always talk to me or her 4 Aunts. I think it really made her feel special that we had that alone time together.
A week ago we had the "evil monthly visitor talk." It was so hard for me to even think of her being ready for that talk. I mean she still plays with Polly Pockets and Littlest Pet Shop toys. Plus takes children's Tylenol! But her body is ahead of her childlike heart. Plus I know that when I was in 5th grade the nurse got all the girls together in our class and she had the talk with us so I dont want her to hear it with a bunch of goofy girls for the first time. I wanted her to be able to ask any questions she had instead of hld back because a classroom of girls might laugh. I had the American Girl book with me and it helped describe things really good. Most of the time when she came up with a question, while we were reading, it was in the next paragraph after I answered her questions. I brought in all the necessities she will need when this time comes and we plan on making her her own kit this weekend of her own supplies along with chocolate. After all this she seemed to be doing better. I think she liked hearing that she isn't alone with all these emotions and that she is normal. So I guess the best thing to do is to sit her down somewhere private,comfy and let her talk to you about what is going on. Let her know it's normal and the best thing for her is to sit down and talk it out with you or just have some alone time with herself instead of letting her push you away and go to someone you dont know and get really confused....

My daughter just became 11 yrs old.We have had the same problems.Needless to say she did end up getting her menstral shortly after it begin.I have found that part of her problem isn't just that but issues with friends at school,etc.Girls seem to take things a little more lite heartedly then boys.(I have 4 of them too.) I also see that she becomes very upset and emotional over every little thing.By talking to her about she may feel better and understand that you are there for her and you know what she is going through.It seemed to help alittle on my end.The best of luck to you.

I think it's the age. I have a 10 yr old girl also, and she acts the same way. She always has to have a "come back" for everything either I or my S/O say. She'll roll her eyes and say things like "Duh I know that" etc. Needless to say, we've gone over and over with her about respecting adults and she's spent many minutes in the ever so famous "corner". The best advice I can give you, is:
1: Be patient, try not to yell too much (which I know can be REALLY HARD!)
2: Put her in time out if she gets too fresh.
3: Pray that this phase goes by soon! I know I have!

I remember that my Mother used to tell us that with priveleges come responsibility. When myself or brothers pulled that kind of stuff, we always had a consequence of some sort that mattered to us. It seemed to really work with us. I would say, make sure she knows you love her very much, but can't tolerate this. Look for what matters to her. My thoughts are that if you don't get to the root of it, then someday, the authorities will if this keeps escalating. She needs to respect authority.

hello my name is Esta Please take ur child on a special outing with just u. Explain to her that u r concern about her and ask if anything is going on that u need to know. I went though this yrs ago and my daughter was being sexually abused. I hope this isnt it but it worth it to check. It could also be she is having a rough time in school and dont know how to tell u. My prayers r with u Esta