My 8 Yr Old Pooping His Pants in School.

Luckily the school year is almost finished, and hopefully by next year this 'mystery' will be a thing of the past. However, you may have to tell him that the school won't allow him back unless he is a 'big boy'.

My son did that once in 2nd grade. I suspected it was because he was afraid/intimidated by the teacher. If you can, find a way to get him regular so that he takes care of the pooping when he's at home. Maybe there's a particular food (like prunes) that, if eaten at night before bed, will encourage a BM in the morning before he goes off to school. My daughter was so regular when she was training that I could put her on the toilet in the morning before getting in the shower and by the time I was done, she was too! She'd just sit there and look at a book until I got out.

Hi S.,
I teach 3rd grade and this also has been happening to one of my students this year. We made arrangements for him to use the nurse's bathroom for those times he too was "embarassed" to use the boys' bathroom. The nurse also suggested to his mom that he go to the doctor because it was happening very frequently (few times a week),unlike your son. As it turned out he was diagnosed with encopresis, or as the nurse explained it to me - super constipation. Definitely talk to his school nurse whom I'm sure would be very accomdating.

Hmmm, maybe there was some kind of bullying going on in the bathroom, then he might be too embarrassed to tell you about that. Like maybe another boy was teasing him or did something to him in the bathroom and he thinks he cant tell anyone so now he's scared to go back in the bathroom? I'm ot sure how to get him to be honest with you, maybe tell him a story of something that happened to you like that when you were little, and then he might chime in and be like you know, yeah that happened to me too, But not directly approach it and say say why are you doing that? Why are you avoiding the bathroom? You have to get the information out the back door, indirectly when he doesnt have his guard up, you know what I mean?> Good luck

I think a visit to the pediatrician would be a good
idea. There could be some medical issues.

You've gotten lots of good advice. One thing you want to make sure about is that his accidents are not because he is having a reaction to something (has the school recently done any remodeling or painting in the classrooms or restrooms?). Talk to your son and find out why he feels that it's embarrassing to use the toilet.

Hi S.,

I'm not sure exactly how to address the underlying cause of why he's really doing it, but I think I'd address what he says first and take care of that problem (and hope that it does indeed take care of the rest). Have you spoken to his teacher about it? No need to tell her the extent of the problem, just that he's having accidents because he's embarassed to ask to use the boys' room. Perhaps she can automatically send the kids to the bathroom on a rotation (so they're not all there at once), a few at a time, or make it a habit that the whole class goes before and after lunch/recess. Or, perhaps you could work out a silent symbol for him to use with her that indicates to her that he has to go, and that indicates back to him that he may, all without the other kids knowing about it.
Once you've done something to alleviate his stated anxiety, I think I would talk to his doctor or a therapist specializing in children about the possible root causes and what to do. He is certainly making a fairly dramatic statement of some kind.
Good luck--remember, this too shall pass--it is a phase of some sort.

My daughter had some accidents also. to make a long story short she simply said when the boys come back from going to the bathroom, the teachers always say "What took you so long?" WOW that made her nervous and embarrassed. My older son said yes going to the bathroom in school is such an issue and he said when ever he had to go he would tell the teacher he had a stomach ache and she would send him to the nurse and he would do it there!! It is a private bathroom. What a simple soution!! so my daughter tried that a few times and now she feels comfortable just going in the regular toilet. Hope this helps good luck

Hey mom ,

My son would hold his poop in because he became aware of people listening, smelling etc

He felt the bathrooms were gross and disgusting,

lack of toilet paper, and privacy.

AND even the scarey location of the toilets.

*** I suggest you go to school and find out exactly where they expect him to use the toilets, what the conditions are for asking to use the restroom.

Does he have to announce himself, does everyone see him going to the bathroom, do they have to go in pairs?
Is the hall pass in a noticeable place where everyone can see him going to the bathroom? Id there only a limited amount of time , Does the teacher ask him WHERE he has been ALL this time? Is there a more private place he can use the toilet. Is it located in the basement and is he scared to go in there.

These are things you need to find out.

These little things really matter to a kid his age.

So now we have an Idea as to WHY.

The reolution we had was to encourage his poop before school. for instance a little cod liver oil in his dinner.
and for breakfast.

Find out exactly what time he feels the need to poop.
how long after he eats does he need to poop.

Talk to his teachers ( ALL of them and say he has a medical condition ( yes I know its a lie) that when he needs to use the rest room he can just walk out of the class.)

I told the teacher that my son has a small bladder and needs to use the restroom more frequently than normal kids LOL ( this was partially true LOL)

Check all these things out FOR YOURSELF, see the potential for fear. And then walk him thru it, asking him what would help him feel more comfortable.

For my son, we talked about it, but he was so fearful he stopped eating a breakfast for a while.

I then introduced him to announcing his DUMP,
ODD yes, as a family we would make a joke of it and say , I gotta take a dumperooo, poopmeister, drop the bomb etc..
make up crazy terms, and we'd laugh , which believe it or not was also helped along by his baby brothers absolute joy to watch him poop. and then announce and dance about poop.
( the joy of potty training little boys)

This helped aleviate some of the pressure,
When friends came over we would SEMI- emabarrass him by having the kids announce their poop, he became used to it,
and realized it wasn't that big of a deal, especially when his friends cracked up.

We also talked to friends we knew with kids and asked them to ANNOUNCE their poops when visiting, ( not always the easy task LOL) But very helpful, because it makes your kid realize other people poop or pee aswell.

Well I wish you the best of luck.

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M

Make sure there are no bigger kids that hang out in the bathroom. Perhaps he was teased in the bathroom one or more times and now he is afraid. Also you might try to regulate him so he poops before or after school.

some chidren really are more concerned with dealing with people they dont know. obviosly so far you are the only one who knows . I suggest changing the diet . being carefull on weekends to increase fibers. all the while
reasuring the child that every one has to eliminate including thier teacher this helped my very shy daughter. time changes everything this too shall pass.

not sure what to tell you as to why he's doing that. But I know, I personally donot like to go anywhre but home, so maybe he's that way too!! Tell him to goto the nurse if he has to go. maybe he will be more comfortable with that? You can write a note to the teacher requestingt that she allow him to do so... hope that helps!!

Hi Susuan,
Well, having to teenagers at this point in my life and having experienced two very different children and their needs, the only advice I can offer is the following: First, have you spoken with the teacher to see if anything new is happening in school? Perhaps, you might want to see if you can observe the classroom daily activities to see if socially something is intimidating him. It could be something as simple as he's embarrassed to ask to use the bathroom because he might have a crush on someone and just too shy to ask to go. Perhaps there's a bully in the class that is poking fun at him and he doesn't want to tell and the teacher hasn't noticed. Another consideration could be that he doesn't think the bathroom is a safe place for him. Now at days, lots of strange things occur in school bathrooms. One more question that you can ask the teacher is, does he or she have rules about when they could use the bathroom. Perhaps he's afraid to ask because when he needs to go, the kids are not allowed. My daughter had a 3rd grade teacher who was strict about bathroom usage and my daughter has a weak bladder so that used to be an issue until I addressed it with the teacher. I didn't have any problems with her accidents anymore. I hope this helpful. One more point, if none of the above suggestions prove to be useful, just keep patiently and lovingly encourage him to address this issue and try to put yourself in his shoes and look at the situation through his 8 year old eyes. This is one lesson that I'm still learning with my teenagers :) Good luck.

Hi S.
I hope that this is of help.
I would guess that he is afraid/embarrassed to ask the teacher, or the teacher makes them say they have to go to the bathroom, and that is what is embarrassing, not going to the bathroom. It is the asking in front of the kids. Most kids at 8 are still OK with that but my boys would not have been. So he hopes that he can hold on til he is dismissed for recess or whatever.
Talk to the teacher. There are things they can do to make it a less embarrassing situation all the way around. Some just put up hall passes. Some have kids simply sign out.
Don't just put up with this. If in fact he is having trouble with muscle control then of course that is a medical issue, but my guess is his advanced academic/social skills are showing up again.
Also by 4th grade kids are expected to take care of their business on their own time. Or should I say that is the age when I was part of the school scene.
The other situation is that locally they have taken the doors off the bathrooms because of some pretty serious situations happening in the schools. Does he not have enough privacy?
God bless you and your family.
K. --- SAHM married 38 years, probably old enough to be your mom --- adult children 37, 33, and twins 18.

my son won't go in school at all unless he really has to go -- he goes to the nurse's office. He says otherwise all the kids know you are going and they say things.. like pee yhew!! and things like that. Ask the school nurse if he can use her bathroom for a while. it may help. My daughter is the opposite - if kids say wow Lex you are stinky.. she just laughs.. she things making a poop is hysterical.. go figure.. but kids can be mean and maybe he went one day and a kid said something.. and now he feels funny about it. Ask his teacher to let him go to the nurse everyday after lunch.. and see if this helps.. it's almost the end of the year and maybe next year will be better. good luck

My first thought would be that there are other kids that have harassed him in the bathroom. Talk to him and see if something uncomfortable has happened to him in the bathroom. He may have been harassed or assaulted in the bathroom by some older kids and now he doesn't want to go there and have it happen again. Or they threatened him. Some children may be embarrassed or afraid to tell an adult about this, so also check with the school to see if there has been any other problems with kids at school. Is there another bathroom that he could go to? Is there a hall monitor or a teacher that can watch the bathroom doorway to make sure others aren't going in there and causing problems?

Hi S.,
I agree, if he is intimidated by using the boys restroom with limited privacy, speak with the principal and request that your son be allowed to use the bathroom in the nurse's office. Maybe a real bathroom with a door that he can close/lock and no one else can come in would make him feel more comfortable!
I think it would also help to try to regulate his body clock over the summer to not need to have a bowel movement during the school day.
Good luck

What great advice the other poster gave you!

I can empathize - I had that fear in college - imagine. I would wait all week, walk to campus on a Sunday night to find an isolated restroom. Thank God I kept my health - that is extremely dangerous & I would not dream of going a day without going several times not - important to get rid of the waste :) Your son's little body is trying very hard to not keep that waste in by eliminating anyway.

I commend you for seeking answers for your son and I think you have recieved some great direction.

This is the product I would recommnd to take 1 tablet at dinner time or after school to set up a movement for the am.

http://www.shaklee.net/healthmatters4u/product/20141

Good Luck and let me know if I can be of any help.

L.
www.nosickvisits.com