Hi all,
I'm trying to figure out if what my 8yo son is doing is considered "normal" for a boy or if I should have him checked out. About a year ago he started to relieve himself in little squirts, just enough so he wouldn't have to stop to go use the bathroom. It has now escalated to where he basically pees himself all day long in larger quantities. He never wets the bed at night, ever and I've tried taking things away that keep him focused too much (i.e. the iPad or computer games) to see if it helps, but sadly, no. Yesterday he came home from school in different shorts and underwear from the school nurse he'd wet himself so bad. I was humiliated but am confused. Is this normal for boys or should I have him checked out even though he NEVER wets the bed at night? Any advice is helpful at this point, thanks!!
No, I would say this is not normal.. especially since he can hold it at night. I would take him to his pediatrician.
Not "normal" and being that I would think this is embarrassing and humiliating for your son as well I would get him to his doctor to rule out any medical conditions. If there's nothing medically causing this ask the doctor how to best deal with it, and he or she can give you a referral to a psychologist/therapist if that is what is needed to "retrain" him and get him to stop.
My DS is 8.5 and yes he waits till he cannot hold it anymore to run to the bathroom but he has only gotten a tiny bit of pee in his undies doing this and it's very rare. I would prob. get him checked out.
I would check with a doctor, but it could just be a focus issue. Some kids get so involved with playing that they "forget" to go and just hold it until they just can't any longer. My daughter will not go for the whole school day and then has to run into the house to go pee, while they have perfectly functional (if not always clean) bathrooms at school.
I would sit down and talk to him at night in a non threatening way to ask if he knows why he does this. Perhaps say" I would like to help you avoid getting wet and embarrassed. We could try padded underwear or pull-ups. Or for a while we could make you go to the bathroom before school and then have the nurse call you into her office before lunch for another bathroom break. What do you think?"
PS: he could tell his friends it is for allergy medication so he does not have to feel embarrassed.
When I talked with my son's pediatrician about this issue he told me wetting at night is neurological but wetting during the day is behavioral. I would talk with your son about why he thinks it is happening and try to approach it as a team effort to resolve the issue. If you don't get anywhere with that then I would call his pediatrician for help. Maybe he needs to talk with a professional about it? Is there something going on at home that could be throwing things off for him? I don't think this is normal for an 8 year old.
It sounds as if his teacher is aware of this since he came home w/ a change of clothes. I would have the teacher send him to the bathroom on a regular routine. Your son can even have a hand signal he can use when he has to go. When the teacher sees that he needs to go, she can excuse him to go to the resrtrm without stopping the lesson and sending the whole class. If there is a bathroom in the classroom, I would have to teacher tap him on the shoulder a few times a day to remind him to go.
In the meantime, I would mention this to your son's doctor.
My friend teaches 2nd grade in CT and just went through a similiar incident with a male student for the 1st time. And she has been teaching 2nd grade for 14 yrs. I can check w/ her to see what plan they used.
I don't know if this will help, but my m.o. with kids is to TELL them to use the bathroom. No "Do you have to?..." just "It's time to go."
At eight, it's worth a conversation with the pediatrician. Perhaps there is a sort of therapy which might help. I can't think that your son is enjoying this--he is probably getting negative feedback from peers. Was he using the toilet regularly/successfully before this? And if so, has there been any big changes in the past while which might contribute to this? Definitely worth a phone call with the doc/nurse first, and then a visit if they deem necessary.
I would say definitely take him to his pediatrician. It doesn't sound normal to me. My 6.5 yr old son will hold it until the last minute, but when he goes, he relieves his bladder completely. He hasn't had an accident since he was three years old.
Since he stays dry all night I am gonna go with this being NOT normal...you can get him checked out if you want to but I am willing to bet this is not something physically wrong with him (since he stays dry all night) and more emotionally wrong?!
~I also think that it might have progressed into some kind of habit for him that needs to be quit...was he embarrassed by wetting himself at school? If yes, then hopefully it will not happen again BUT if he acted like it was no big deal than I think you have got a BIG problem on your hands!
Not normal.
However, does the Teacher, per her classroom "rules"... allow the kids to use the bathroom when they need to???? Or.... are kids only allowed to go to the bathroom at certain times????
In some schools, the kids can only go to the bathroom at certain times.
Not during lessons.
But in some schools, the kids are allowed to go to the bathroom whenever they need to. Which is more appropriate. Because, the bladder has to go when it has to go. Not just holding it. Which is not good for the body/kidneys.
So, I would ask your son, what the bathroom "rules" are per his Teacher.
Next: how the heck, does your son feel, about this and his accidents???? He is 8... and things like this are typically embarrassing for the kid.
Take him to the Doctor to rule out medical issues.
And/or, consider emotional issues.
