My 5 Year Old Is Being Bullied by a Parent

Can you volunteer at the exact same time? I know if I were there no M. would think about mistreating my child. Tell the teacher AND the director.
You need to write it down and stay factual. No namecalling. No wondering if she is nuts or what her problem is. Inappropriate behavior is not allowed.

I would just tell the teacher what you have written here. You could open with the comment that you have some concerns and you want to bring this to her attention.

Thats what happens when you don't speak up. I just for the life of me cannot understand why you have not advocated for your child here. There is no excuse that you could give that would be good enough for me actually. Not trying to be too harsh on you but this is serious. The MINUTE my child told me that another adult was doing this I would be AT THAT PARENTS DOOR. Seriously-get on the phone THIS MINUTE with your school and tell them what has been going on. If they don't BEND OVER BACKWARDS for you and tell this mom in no uncertain terms that she is OUT OF THE SCHOOL then I would speak to a lawyer. There has got to be something that can be done about this woman who is not bullying but HARASSING your child.

And if you are too afraid or 'shy' or too 'nice' to take any of my advice-for the love of GOD make sure that you are next to your child every blessed second that this woman is in the classroom.

This is, frankly, unbelievable and absolutely unacceptable. Tell the teacher immediately what is happening; this woman's involvement with the children needs to be curtailed pronto. What adult bullies little children?? Alarming.

I'm sure you are upset and rightfully so, however, flying off the handle at this point is only going to put the school and teacher on the defensive. Yes, you should have addressed this the very 1st time it happened, but it's not too late to take care of it now. As this latest incident occurred just yesterday, I would ask to speak with her teacher after school today. Explain all of this to the teacher, see what feedback she gives you. She very well be entirely unaware of the situation. Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt and arm her with the info she will need to look out for your child in the future. I've never been a teacher but can tell you if you bypassed me altogether and went straight to my boss without giving me an opportunity to rectify the situation I would be ticked. After hearing what the teacher has to say and what she recommends then decide if further action with the administration is needed. Make it perfectly clear that this NUTJOB is to have zero contact with your child. Be very clear about this other child hitting your child and make it known you will not tolerate bullying period. Give the school the opportunity to correct the situation. Good Luck and God Bless

(Now my alter ego Irish/Italian self will respond to your post :
#1 - take all the other kids in the class to chucky cheese except mean girl
#2 -offer to keep a few of the kids up to their ears in skittles if they beat the mean girl up ;D
#3 - When picking your child up today walk over to the NUTJOB and promptly drop her on her A$$$ and be sure to tell her you will do this everyday if she or her brat even look at your child wrong ;D

Any mom who is calling a child ugly and criticizing work will be asked to leave if this school isn't insane.

Your heart was in the right place to try to tell your daughter to shrug this off, but unfortunately bullies ALWAYS go for easy targets. Your daughter needs to learn to speak up immediately, defend herself and tell on the bully, even telling you if it's a parent. Then you need to show strength by standing up to the bully too, so your daughter learns you have her back, and you're not afraid of bullies either. So good work handling this now. Be strong, just report what you know if you are absolutely sure this is happening. Dont' be afraid to confront the mom either. Good luck!

This is way beyond the teacher. You need to request a meeting with the director IN WRITING and provide specific examples of what is going on in the classroom.

You should specifically cite the fact that your daughter does not feel safe at school and that you would like this mother to no longer be a classroom volunteer.

Yes, you should have said something the FIRST time it happened, but it's not too late. THis is such inappropriate behavior on the part of the adult- children should feel safe and supported in school, especially by the adults working with them.

Tell the teacher the truth and that you don't want this "volunteer" in the same room as your child. If this can't be accomplished I would insist you do your volunteer time at the same time as this mom so that you can monitor the situation. I'd also confront this Mom if necessary with the principal present.

Absolutely...... bashing was not necessary. None of us are perfect and you are doing the best you can. I'm not sure I would of flown in with my broomstick too soon either. Sometimes our kids exaggerate, and sometimes it's hard to know when to allow them to work things out for themselves. Don't take the guilt. You know it's time to act....... so go get 'um tiger!

My first thought is this woman needs to have her a$$ kicked and I would have felt like that from day 1. Secondly, get off you computer and get to the school NOW and tell the teacher what you have told us!

Your daughter needs you, and has for the last couple of months.

I'm glad that you are going to talk to the teacher about this. Tell her exactly what you told us. Just be factual about what has been occurring. At a minimum, this woman and her daughter need to be watched with an eagle eye when she is in the classroom. She should not be allowed to talk to your daughter or help her in any way since your daughter does not feel comfortable with her. If this woman is permitted back into the classroom again to assist, then your daughter should only deal with the teacher -- no interaction with this toxic woman. And if the teacher doesn't take a stand to protect your daughter, then you need to follow this up the chain of command to the assistant vice principal or principal if necessary.

Sorry that you and your daughter are having to deal with this. Sometimes there's just no reasonable explanation of why people do the things they do. Some people are just very good at creating problems for themselves and others. Please be sure to tell your daughter that this is all about this lady and not about her at all. Some people are just crazy.

OH MY GOSH.
Handle it TODAY. You go to the person in charge, not just a "teacher" and you say what happened and that they can't allow that person around your child anymore. She's not fit to be around children-any child-with that personality (I'm working hard to be nice here). If not, you remove your child immediately from the school. There are a million schools everywhere. A place that would allow this is NOT the place for your child. If they don't drop her, and you are hesitant to leave because of finances or some sort of term contract you may have signed, you explain to them that technically they cannot have adults that have not had extensive background checks around your children anyway. Our CHURCH doesn't even allow you to walk into a children's room (let alone volunteer) without a background check. As for the rest.....sheesh. Love on her and let her know it's not ok, she's awesome, and you will take up for her for crying out loud.

I help out in my childs class and could not believe this post when I read it! How horrible! I make sure I compliment the children all the time. Whether it's their clothing or reading or art work or shoes or nail polish or hair does. That's why they run up to me with big hugs when I enter the room. It is a great feeling. I would tell the teacher immediately then tell her you are informing the principal and do not want her in your childs classroom anymore. Helping out is a privilage in my eyes. I wonder what she says to her own child. If anything she is not setting a good example to the other children about how to treat others.

Wow. No advice here.....just.....wow. From another parent. Unbelievable!

Document EVERYTHING... and Talk to the Director, IMMEDIATELY.

This has to STOP. And stop now.

They need to be expelled from the school.

You get an Attorney if need be.... because people like that, think they are 'angels' and that everyone else is wrong.

If they retaliate, you need to call the Cops.

I would have never, let this go on for 2 months.

You do NOT tell a child, to 'ignore' things like this. That is sending them the wrong message.... you are teaching them to be a "Victim."
You need to teach your child... HOW TO STAND UP FOR herself, and HOW TO TELL THE TEACHER, or any adult in command.

Do not approach the woman/child yourself, They will only hold it against you and manipulate what you say and then "blame' you and your child.

My Daughter was bullied. I took care of it RIGHT then. I spoke to the Teacher, and Principal and put it in writing as well.
I was ready to do whatever I had to... to stop it.

That is rediculous!!! Handle immediately. Your daughter should not have to endure this...Unacceptable. Tell the teacher asap and go to the principal if you have to.

Hi R.,
(R. was my Grandmother's name - love it!)

I have not read the other posts - being lazy today.

Anyhoo, can you schedule to volunteer in the classroom when the monster mother is there? Your being there may be all it takes for her to back down.

Also, definitely talk to not only the teacher but the administrative staff - principal, school counselor, everyone you can think of in a position of power at the school.

At this point it time to encourage your daughter to speak up and tell the teacher - I know, I know, "tattling" on adults is contrary to what we normally teach our children - but I think extreme situations call for extreme measures.

You got your daughter's back - go forth and put the monster Mommy in her place!!!!!

Why are you shrugging this off? The teacher should be aware if a parent is not behaving appropriately in the classroom. You should have reported this immediately. I can't believe you've told a 5 year old to shrug this off rather than reporting it to the teacher. You are your child's advocate and this behavior is still going on because you haven't done anything about it. I would not speak to the mother directly, it is up to the teachers/principal to deal with this situation.

I totally support you and this woman sounds nuts-o and awful - although an interesting lesson to be had by the children to deal with weird unsupportive and difficult people BUT I want to throw out another option- I had my kids in Part time preschool for yrs. thought it was SO necessary- we had some issues w/my preschool- so I my 3 yr. old girl out and now we hang out all the time (when I'm not working) with her 2 yr. old bro. It's the BEST thing I ever did- it didn't even occur to me to not go to preschool- there's so much pressure for this esp. in the Bay Area. But of course if you're working, I'd say if it's not dealt with now and properly, look around at other schools at least- your daughter is the most important thing- and NO school's better than this. It will all be fine- I bet!

I would talk to your daughter's teacher and tell her what this woman has been saying to your daughter. Any teacher , in their right mind, would not let a volunteer in room that was treating kids this way!

As the mother of 5, having been a foster mother who had to put up with shallow people that made children's lives hell that were already hard, and the parent of a disable child--- I read this and wanted to slam dunk an adult that would dare to talk to any child this way-- her own must live in a night mare situation. I think your daughter should stand on a table and shout for all to hear what is being done. If she speaks spanish then the teacher should be bi-lingual or able to have another adult who is and askthe major question of WHY are you doing this??? Frankly I am impressed you haven't taken her out and ripped her apart. There is not only something shameful but mentally wrong with an adult that has the need to do thisto any child. The teacher is responsible for what goes on in the class and if she does not have the full story then she can't help please talk to her and protect your child from a bully! Telling her to ignore it is telling her it is ok to be a victim. I wish you well and your daughter happy times ahead. A trick we taught our children yes even the foster children that were sometimes only here a short while... that they had to get a message across if anyone was harming them and if it needs to be in the most public place then so be it to get someone tohear them and act upon thier needs. I has a son who was threatened by a man who started coming to our church and he stood in the entry way and started telling everyone and it was onlyminuets before he got helpand support on his side until we got to him. Your little one may need this skill at sometime as well . I am so glad that she tells you so that you can face this adult and deal with it.

R.,

The woman you describe should not be attending to children in a class room. I would speak with the owner of the pre-school. I suspect it is a private small day car/pre-school because schools such as Montesory usually will not allow such behavior from children or adults. If she is speaking in a different language and the teachers don't understand, then you must let them know exactly what is going on.

Keep us posted.

Blessings....

Good lord! The woman sounds mentally unstable. You need to talk to her IMMEDIATELY and talk to the teacher in the classroom. Does she witness this behavior? This woman shouldn't be allowed around other children. Make sure you go to the director of the preschool as well. Make it crystal clear to the woman that you will no longer tolerate her actions toward your daughter and that she must need serious psychological help if she's picking on a preschooler.

Make a list of the things she does so when you are speaking to them about it you don't forget what you want to say. Try to stick to the facts. Document when this started and demand that they put a stop to it immediately. If she is doing this to your child, there may be others too. She should not be allowed to interact with children if they are not going to pay attention to what is happening.

Where is this happening? In school? Does this woman have state clearances to be around children?
If it is a school, I would tell the teacher AND the principal that your child will NOT be around this woman ever again--even if it means they have to change her room on those days or let her sit in the office.

Worry less about what the teacher will think of you and worry more about your daughter. What that parent is doing is awful. If you're on friendly terms with any of the other parents, see if any of them have noticed the same thing and if they'd be willing to talk with the teacher with you. If the teacher won't help with this, talk to her boss, and if the boss won't do anything, then you need to consider removing her from the school altogether (just the threat of losing tuition money and the bad rep that will go with it might be enough to get the school to act), or, at the very least, not have her in school on the days that teacher is there.