My 3 Yr Old Won't Sleep in His Room

I have no advice because I am in the same boat. My daughter is almost 4 and still sleeping with me. I have even tried abandoning my own bed, but she semi wakes every 15-20 minutes if I am not in bed. I can be just in eye sight and she will doze back off, but if I am not, she gets up and seeks me out. My daughter is autistic also, and what I do know is the things you try with "normal" children do not work. If you find something that does, please let me know!

I haven't been through this, but I did get a degree in Child Psychology. I know that a lot of people may not agree with what I'm about to say, but it works. I think you are giving in to the fact that you both might be too tired in the morning if you don't let him have his way. I think that you should explain to your husband that there are going to be a few nights that he might not get much sleep, but trust me...it will past. If you spend those nights being consistent and firm with your son sleeping in his own room, this will work. No matter how many times he comes in your room, take him back to his room. There is a strong possibility that he might be tired some mornings, but he'll get the concept that he needs to stay in his room if he wants to sleep good. DON'T GIVE IN!!!!! Right now, you're giving his an option...WE DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THAT IF YOU REALLY WANT HIM TO SLEEP IN HIS OWN ROOM. Try being more stern about him staying in his room no matter how much he screams. JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS READY TO SUPPORT YOU IN THIS ALL NIGHTER, HE JUST MIGHT GET REALLY FRUSTRATED IN THIS PROCESS!!!! :)

Try sleeping in his room for a few nights and after he is asleep sneak into your room, he has to get use to being back in his room all night long. It will be rough for you to sleep in there at first but in the end the reward will be that you are able to sleep back in your own room, once he sleeps through the night again. Good Luck.

K.

Mine did this also. I agree the the recommendation of Dr Sears' Sleep Book. Remember he won't do this forever and is just seeking the comfort of his parents. Be gentle with him!! Good luck : )

R., I am going through the same routine. I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old in the bed with us. They had perfect sleeping habits. They insist on sleeping with us. I am not sure what to do. WE went through the put back to bed routine that will last all night long! It does not work!

We had the same problem recently with our 2 1/2 year old. We went on vacation in December and we all slept in the same room for a week, so as soon as we got back, he wanted to sleep in our room every night. I tried all the suggestions about putting him back in his room every time he got up, talking to him about being a good sleeper, rewarding him for a good night (which never happend)closing the door if he was crying, and altogether making a big deal out of it. Nothing worked and none of us were getting any sleep, so I finally gave up. If he wanted to come in our room in the middle of the night and sleep on the floor, we let him. We compromised, sort of. The rules were: he had to go to bed in his own room at bedtime, he could sleep on our floor, but not in our bed, and he was not allowed to wake us up. He would bring his blankie and pillow and make himself comfortable on the floor - he did this every night at about 2 a.m. for almost three weeks, but in the end this approach really worked. After a few weeks, he was back to sleeping in his own room through the night. Once I stopped fighting with him about it, it was no longer a big deal. It's like, as long as he knows the option is there if he feels like he needs to come in our room, he knows it is his decision, and it is no longer a power struggle. Occasionally I still get up in the morning and find him on the floor next to our bed, but that doesn't bother me. I am okay with it since we still get a good night's sleep. I don't know if this will work for you or not, but I know all the "book stuff" did not work for us.

My daughter just turned 3 too and she is doing the same thing. She is not autistic or anything so maybe its just an age thing. If you get any good ideas from anyone please pass them my way. We too have just redecorated her room with paint, new carpet, and etc... Like your child, she plays in it and will nap in it, but will not sleep through the night. I am 32 weeks pregnant and need sleep at this point as much as she does. I am not sure what else to do.

Again, if you get any good ideas please send them my way! Thanks and good luck!

I am a little surprised to find that you are a stay at home mom w/ a 3 yr old that you send off to school w/ a problem like this. It appears to me that maybe he is a little insecure during the day and trying to compensate at night.
Why don't you try keeping him at home, helping him to feel secure and work on it that way. Especially if this child is dealing w/ autism. Anything that they do to help him at school you could probably do at home. You're fighting a loosing battle this way because the more disrupted sleep that you and him get, the more insecure feelings. Rest is vital for anyone. Every child's needs are different and must be filled in order to function well in life. If you don't deal with it now, even if he started sleeping in his own room, it will come out in another way when he's older.
Save your heartache and suffering by stepping back and really evaluating things, not just the "not sleeping in his own room". This could be just a symptom not the real problem. When you mentioned that "you were too tired to fight so you gave in", (there's a flag) As a mom teaching children you have the hardest responsibility. Perhaps if you laid down in his bed and left when he was asleep that would wean him. I have a grandson who went thru that but now he is 11 yrs. old and doing wonderfully.
Pray and ask God to show you how to give the best to His child. He will help you. God bless you for being willing to learn.

My son never wants to sleep in his bed anymore. As an infant and toddler he always slept in his own bed in his own room. Now even if I put him in his own bed he is up within 3 or 4 hours and in mine. My husband works the midnight shift so it has not bothered my but we have been trying to break the habit since I am now 7 months pregnant and will have the baby in our room when he is born. We tried everything like you did, and dealing with a screaming child at 3 am is just not a fun option! If I leave the bed he will wake up and come find me, he just does not like to be alone. He literally wants to sleep curled against me and knows the second I am gone!

I am sorry I do not have any advice, but you are not alone

T.

My daughter did this for a while too, coming in at 3 am, and we have been able to get her to stay in her bed now. What I would do for a while was to bring her back in her room and lay down with her for a while. It's hard at that time of night and I would even fall asleep sometimes but after a while she stopped coming in. That being said, I don't have experience with autism although I know routines are very important to them. You may want to talk to his doctor for advice. Good luck.

I'm a fan of the family bed as long as everyone is sleeping well. I have a 3 yr old and an 18 mon. In our house, everyone starts off in their own bed. But if they wake up in the middle of the night, they can come into our bed. The youngest still needs help getting up on the bed but the oldest will climb in without waking me up. The oldest doesn't come in evey night. Some nights she just needs more cuddle time and other nights she wakes up early, 5 am, and will come into bed and fall back asleep. It could be that your boy just needs some more time to get his confidence back. I say don't fight him on it. Let him come into your bed as he needs. He will eventually be asured that you will still be there in the morning and not have to come see you in the middle of the night. If you just can't sleep with him in the bed, then get a special bed for him on the floor next to yours. A sleeping bag or an extra comforter works well. We have a child size air mattress. Tell him that if he wakes up when it is still dark outside that he can come sleep on his special bed but he has to be quiet and not wake you up. You can also check out Dr. Sears The Sleep Book or his web site www.askdrsears.com. He has some great suggestions for weaning from the family bed. But in the grand scheme of things this phase will be very short. One day he will be older and you will long for the days you could cuddle with him.