HELP!!! My daughter is a 13 months old and 3 month's ago we moved into our new place, previously we lived in a very small apartment with not enough from for a crib we had a pac n play but she still slept with us because she hated the pac n play & woke up only after about 5 minutes. I chopped it up to be because it was uncomfortable but she was really outgrowing our small queen sized bed so we decided we would try the cry it out method or ferber method & she would still not stop screaming it would go on for 3 hours plus if we let it we tried it for 3 weeks & there was no sight of it getting better it actually seemed to be getting worse she would scream just going near her pack n play she was scared of it. So once we moved into our new place we got her a crib & we showed her it was a nice place & it was like mommy & daddy's bed. She began to like her crib she would love going in it but still would not sleep in it at all I don't want to try the cry it out method with the crib because I don't want her to hate the crib as well. So needless to stay she is still in bed with her dad & I and we can't take it anymore as much as I love cuddling with her she isn't much of a cuddler anymore she takes up the whole bed!!!! When we move her because she has rolled on us or when we move and it wakes her up she gets upset and needs a bottle to go back to sleep & I know night time feedings at this age are not needed & our not good for the teeth as well but if we didn't we would get zero sleep if we didn't!! Please anyone have any ideas how to get her in her crib without crying it out?? I don't want her to be 5 by the time we get her into her own bed!!
I have to agree with the sidecar method.
My oldest didn't sleep all night until she was 3. My son slept all night right around a year. Didn't do anything different with either of them.
kids will sleep all night when they will
Read Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" books.
Twin matress on the floor. We moved around a bit when my son was young so he got used to a "real" bed and mommy sleeping nearby since I was breastfeeding. This way, the bed is big enough for you to lie with her for a while, easy for you to get out of, and she won't get hurt if she rolls off it. Close her door or baby gate it so she's safe, and that might help.
Sidecar
Same token: Donate some sheets/blankets/pillows to her crib. They'll smell "right", and it's what she's used to. If it's a dropside crib, keep the side down so you can keep your arm in there.
Do this for a few months, since she's had such awful transitioning in the past, switch tactics and do this gentle. Also, she'll be FAR more cognitively aware in a few months than she is now.
Set up the crib as a sidecar to your bed, then when she's fine with that move her farther away...
Where does she nap? I would try getting her used to it at naptime first, then move to nighttime.
Mattress on the floor in your room that can be transferred to her toddler bed when she is used to it... Good luck! Cry it out is not a solution, and if you ask me, it is heartless.
Relax! She will not be in your bed at 5 unless you want her there!
We co-sleep.
When our DD was 2 we moved her to a mattress on the floor next to our bed.
She was older so it will not be as easy to convey to a 13 month old...but I would imagine it can be done.
I have a 16mth. old so I understand...he is still nursing at night. Recently he has been nursing more (I think because of his teeth) and driving me NUTS! So I have not said no completely but no when it gets excessive. How many times does she want to nurse a night? 2, maybe 3 every once in a while is my limit. ;)
Don't feel guilty over it though.
When she gets older it will be easier to stop the night nursings. It was w/ my DD. And she was a super cuddler (i.e. I am trying to become your new appendage type cuddler) who never slept as well as my son.
May the Sandman visit you very, very soon!
You could try the old "sit in her room, but no eye contact and gradually move closer to and OUT the door. Supernanny does it that way sometimes.
This sounds like my first. We ended up putting a mattress next to our bed and putting him to sleep on that. Then eventually moved the mattress to his room. For awhile we still had to lay with him in his room until he fell asleep. Eventually we were able to leave him to fall asleep on his own. Elizabeth Pantley's book, the no cry sleep solution (she has one for babies and one for toddlers) was a big help. Good luck!
Both my girls slept for part of the night with me--my first until she was 2, when she just decided she was big enough to be on her own, the second just turned 2 and it may be a couple months. I put a double bed on the floor in her room and stayed with her until she fell asleep and then I'd put her in her crib (or just keep her in the bed, surrounded by body pillows on the top & side so she didn't fall out). When she wakes up, I would sleep on the floor with her. That way, she identifies her room is the sleep room. She won't be 5, unless you want it to be 5. She's not ready. Allowing her to be with you will make her a more confident child. She will know you are there and will be more assured if you support her now. Hang in there. I know you are tired (trust me). But it will get better and you'll miss snuggling with her little body someday. Good luck!
That's a tough one because like one of the mamas already stated, your daughter is already traumatized (take word with grain of salt) by the idea of being put in another bed. It is my opinion that babies are all different with different personalities and needs, and some need longer to separate from the family bed. She is trying to tell you she ain't ready! I know it is hard for you and your husband too and I understand the need for your own space back. I don't have too many recommendations being that my husband, my 2 and 1/2 yr old son and I all still share a queen size bed with no plan to move him out in sight ... it does sometimes drive me CRAZY and I lose sleep because of it and our sex life suffers and I feel cramped and we wake each other up in the night and morning .... but I love it and wouldn't change a thing about our decision to co-sleep. My husband is from another country where this is considered normal, even to a much later age, and it is like a cruel punishment in his mind to send a child into another bed at a young age. Especially if there are not several brothers or sisters in the new bed. Anyway, my one suggestion is leave her with you for now but start working on not feeding her when she wakes up in the night. She will cry but it will be a different cry than the "I'm alone and scared cry." It will be the I'm not getting what I want cry - and i have hopes that after a few nights of not getting that late night feeding, she'll stop. Then you can get back to your new strategy to shift her into her own bed, there's alot of good suggestions on here from the other mamas. Good luck!
Read the no cry sleep solution, by elizabeth pantly.
That's my first advice. My next advice is to tell her she is a big girl now so she needs to sleep in her bed. If she seems nervous about it at all, tell her you will stay with her while she falls asleep and then set some "rules" about bedtime, like you complete your routine then she lays down in bed and you will sit by the crib, in the rocking chair, by the door. Then when she is asleep, you will leave, but if she needs you then you will come. Tell her that the goal is everyone sleeping all night long in their own beds. And then as hard as it is, stick to your guns and don't let her sleep in your bed. If you don't think that would work, you could start by putting her crib mattress on the floor by your bed and have her sleep there, then transition to it in the crib.
I had problems with my first and that book was a llifesaver and really helped with my second. The unfortunate thing is that cry it out has left your little one traumatized about being alone to go to sleep. I hope you can find a gentle solution that gets you all sleeping well soon!
We co sleep and both boys were out of our bed at 3 the latest. I cannot stand to listen to a baby cry they can't tell you what's wrong so we decided to wait until they had the skills to communicate what if anything was wrong.
