My 3 Year Old Is Acting Out When I Am Disciplining My 1 Year Old.

I discovered, when my children did this, that it was a way of grabbing Mommy's attention. Your son probably resents the time and effort you spend on his sister, even if he loves her (and even if he's unaware that he feels resentful.) He may be thinking that if you are "angry" at her, or if she is "bad," that you will love him more. It sounds ridiculous to an adult, but makes perfect sense to a child. He sees your disciplining efforts as the perfect moment to show you that she does bad things; in his mind, you will admire and love him for this. When it upsets you, he doesn't understand why. I finally discovered that I had to send one child out of the room, immediately and unemotionally, every time they interfered with what I was saying to their younger sibling. This can be hard, especially at the table, but he should catch on very quickly. Even if it's at the table, when he starts egging her on, ask him to leave the room. Say something like, "I need to speak to Ella right now. Please go wait for me in the other room." Then call him back or go to him when you are done speaking to your daughter. He'll test out the new program by making you send him away every minute or two at first, and he'll probably complain, but then he'll probably decide that it's in his own best interest to remain quiet, and in the room, while you discipline your daughter. When he finally does that, tell him that you really appreciate it. He has to decide that it's better for him to do the right thing, "better" in his mind being that he gets your complete attention.

There is nothing wrong with negative reinforcement as long as you are giving positive reinforcement for good behavior too.

I would just be sure to do what you can to try and remove him from the situation. He's old enough that you should be able to start talking to him about why this is behavior is wrong. I wish you luck!

The first thing i would do is to take your daughter into a room by herself when you need to discipline her. That way you have her full attention and she isn't distracted by her brother. Her brother is also less able to egg her on, etc. My gut is that he is trying to get attention too (my youngest acts out for attention), so if you were to put him in a corner in timeout where he can't/doesn't get any attention when he does that I think it would help also. I do believe in spanking when warranted, but spanking is still attention even if it's negative. No attention is better when they are acting out for attention.

Hi N.. I also have two kids. My daughter is 4 years old and my boy is 19 months. Sometimes I just have to seperate them. We live in a tiny house so I try to take my yougest into the kid's room for time out while the oldest is preocupied with something like a puzzle or coloring. I think She just acts up when her brother is in trouble to get more attention from me. It works for us. I hope that helps.

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. I have a 5 year old son who does the exact same thing. While I'm sure you have probably worked every avenue in your mind about why your 3 year old may be acting out when you discipline the little one, have you considered he is competing for the same attention? I know my son tends to act out when we are giving our 13 month old any attention at all. It has really helped that dad and I have created time just for Colin (our 5 year old) without his little sister around. I take Colin out to eat, just the two of us. Daddy takes him for bike rides, just the two of them. Also, you might consider asking "big brother" for advice when you see "little sister" doing something she is not supposed to be doing...like "what should we do about sister throwing a tantrum?" and have fun with it so that he doesn't feel like he has to compete for the attention too. This works for us because Colin thinks he is involved in solving the problem. Good luck! It's so nice to know there are other moms experiencing the same issue!

When possible send him to go get you something or off to a diff room for whatever reason while you tend to her. Maybe that will help. But im also not aginst a good swat on the butt fallowed by a time out!