My 3 1/2 Year Old Has No Interest in Other Children

I would suggest some reading regarding 3 yr olds. At this age and stage, 3 yr olds do not generally engage in partner play but rather parallel play. They will play near another child for the most part with sporadic interactions with others.
Allow him to be a 3 yr old for a bit. He is still a baby even though he may seem so big since you have a 10 month old.

Congratulations on enrolling him in a preschool. Hopefully there will be opportunities to play in small groups, sharing materials. It is typical for 3 and 1/2 year olds to work with the same toys, play near each other, and comment to or question one another when they are playing side-by-side with their own materials. If he is developing these skills, great. If not, you might consider scheduling a free screening of his development at your local school system. These screenings are offered in every system, and provide an opportunity for you to ask questions about social development. Each child is an individual and it's nice for parents to talk with staff who do this regularly and have lots of information and resources.

Hi P., I think it is completely normal. Does he play with his brother? I think pre school is the best route, and I would get him in a program asap! My daughter started at 2.9 and she is now 4 in her second yr and absolutely loves it. Be prepared that he may give you a hard time at first, and hopefully the school you choose with work with you to make him comfortable. Its actually kind of good that he is so independant. I would not worry about this at all. He will make so many friends when he starts school!!!

He may still be at the developmental stage of parrallel play. He may only be able to play near other children but not actually with them interactively. After that children progress to playing with one other child well then two etc. The day care may help but don't overwhelm him. Half day is best and it will give the teachers a chance to work with him. They will tell you if there is a problem. The best thing to stimulate playing with others is for the parent to get on the floor any play with the kids. They will copy what you do before they start to play with you. They do not know the rules of interactive play yet so they will take the toys away and say mine. It safer to do that with you and learn right from wrong then from a stranger. You can teach them about feelings and how to empathize. When they feel comfortable playing with the safest person in their life then they will start to make attempts with new people.

Mom of 4 boys 17, 15,15 and 9

Hi P.,

I also have a 3 1/2 year old boy that sounds very similar, he has never showed any interest in playing with other children. He started preschool this fall and is finally starting to show a little interest, it takes him forever to warm up though. If we get together with friends it can take him an hour before he joins the other kids and sometimes he doesn't join in at all. Like your son he really doesn't seem to care, he is completely happy to play by himself. I just keep trying and keep exposing him to other kids but I try hard not to overdo it. I hope this helps a little, the one thing I have noticed is that he seems to play better with girls, olders kids or less agressive boys -- someone a little more low key...

Good luck.

S.

I would definately get him into either a playgroup, daycare, preschool etc. I suggest one that mom or grandmother are not involved in so he will learn to be more receptive to other children. Good luck.

Kids usually don't get social until they are 4. There is a big difference between 3-1/2 and 4. Enrolling him in preschool will definitely help. It may take him a few days to adjust but I am sure he will make a friend or two. My daughter is 4 and she likes to play by herself but she will also talk about her friends at school. Don't worry he will make friends.

Hi P.,

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is more content playing near other children than with them. She has started pre-school and I can assure you this is very common at this age. Her teacher has even commented that she gets a kick out of watching all the kids playing in the kitchen area, but each is doing their own thing. She still speaks to the other children and has her little friends, but they play separately no matter the setting. Give it some time and he'll start to find other kids as exciting as what he's doing.

I wouldn't stress too much about him not playing with others. It takes "extra" time for some children to play with their peirs. How does he interact with those around him? If he's quiet and reserved around family memebers he could be shy. What's your personality like? If you aren't outgoing and reserved he could be taking his cues from you. I would keep doing what you're doing by taking him to the park adn meetimg with friends and eventually he'll start playing with others. Also sending him to preschool two days a week is a good idea because he'll have a routine and while following the routine he'll start intereacting with other children. Even if it starts with just taking turns in the classroom or playground.
My son is almost 3 and doesn't play much with others but I'm not too worried.
I have a degree in early childhood education and have spent years in the classroom and my experience is that when they're ready to interact with others they will. If you're really worried talk to your ped. and get their opinion.

sounds pretty normal, my daughter was the same, we started helping her make friends at the park, introducing them etc. but sometimes she was like "ok, whatever" and took off alone, shes 5 now and doesnt mind playing alone, if someone comes up to her at the park, shes for it, but is a little shy, so gets uneasy when its her "turn" to go up to someone. He should start showing more interest when he goes to school and doesnt have the mom/grandma security blanket anymore. It sound more like his personality more than something more serious. Good luck!