2 Year Old Very Withdrawn with Other Kids

It may just be simple shyness, in which case I wouldn't worry. Perhaps she just needs help with her introductions to other kids? In which case, you could find out the names of other kids at parks or wherever and make the introduction for her and suggest an activity they can do together. On the other hand, severe social anxiety can sometimes be the sign of a larger problem. I would talk to her pediatrician about her behavior and see if he/she thinks she should be tested.

My daughter was the same way...only with adults and children! She wouldn't talk to anyone else or play with the other kids. Then, one day, she just snapped out of it. I think it happened because she started preschool. Now, she can talk and play with any kid that's around. Just be patient with her, I'm sure she will grow out of it!

She may just be more comfortable being an observer right now when she's around kids she doesn't know. That doesn't mean that she will always be that way. kids bloom socially at different ages. Some earlier, some later.

My youngest daughter didn't really become very social until she was around 3 1/2 or so. Before then she would play next to kids, but not necessarily with them. Now she is 5 1/2, makes friends easily and is always looking for new friends to play with when we visit the park.

So I wouldn't worry with your daughter being just 2 1/2. She just may need some more time to develop socially. You might encourage her by having her get involved with a class of kids her own age. Like a gymnastics, music, sports or art class where she attends with a parent.

Since you are a shy person too, think about how YOU would like to be helped to feel more comfortable in her situation. Would she rather be introduced to new people only in a quieter environment, and only one or two new people at a time, and only for a few moments for the first meeting or two? I am shy too, and I get utterly overwhelmed if I have to meet a large number of people, especially in a loud and crowded space. Some people are much better at quieter one-on-one interactions. I would suggest letting her find her own way in situations like the park, and expect her to hide behind you sometimes. Just encourage her by asking "Would you like to wave hello?" and being ok with it if she doesn't. My guess is that if you don't pressure her and don't make a big deal out of it, she will come out of her shell on her own, in her own time. At 1.5 and 2 years old my son was much as you describe your daughter. Now that he is 3,5, he will approach anyone of any age in just about any setting, completely undaunted, and start chattering away at them and trying to engage them. I am frankly in awe of his outgoing nature, considering how "shy" and afraid he was previously, and considering that I am so shy also. But I just never made a big deal out of it if he wanted to hang back from the other children, especially at first. And now he seems to be doing better than I am!

My son is 3 and he is the same way, he is fine with kids after he gets to spend some time with them and he can get comfortable with them. We went to McDonald's playland and he loved it but as soon as other kids came in he is sitting on the bench. I am not worried about it, he is only 3 afterall, I beleive once he starts school he will get a whole different attitude.

And at the age of 2 your daughter is still at the stage where she would rather play with herself then with other kids. I've read that is perfectly normal for that age. I wouldn't worry about it, the more you push the worse it may get. Just let her do her own thing and someday she will see it is more fun to have playmates.

She sounds a lot like my little girl--especially the part where she will sit and watch the other kids play. If you are mostly concerned that she may be missing out, consider that many people enjoy being spectators more often that others. My little girl really likes watching other children play. I don't view it as her being "left out" but as her doing what she likes and them doing what they like. As long as she seems content during these times, then this is probably what you have. If you respect who she is and don't push her into situations that she is uncomfortable in, she will begin to feel confident about her world and it will feel safe to her. Then she will be more likely to come out of her "shell" when she wants to. We have been having a lot of fun watching this happen--one little bit at a time--in our almost-3-yr-old.

Have your husband invite one friend over to play on her turf a few times a week. She needs to learn to interact with other children and is overwelmed with so many at the park. If it is at your house, she will feel comfortable playing with the friend but you might also see the "that's mine" bit as she is learning to share her toys.

I could be wrong about the exact timing, but I'm pretty sure that is a perfectly normal developmental stage. I don't think kids start playing "with" other kids until they are a little older. They play side by side first. If anyone has a copy of "What to expect: the Toddler Years", I think it explains what to expect at that age and what age they should start to interact more with others. Hope it helps.

this is your child's personality, temperment, who she is.
you arent going to change her. some kids are laid back, some kids are 'in your face' energetic. ive seen both, my son is a very high spirited type, most of the kids who he comes into contact with are very laid back. my son is the kid who barrels up to another kid and is interested in what they are doing, and just takes over, while the other laid back kid just sits there wondering what happened :P :P

just be with her, let her know its ok, that kind of thing, but NEVER put her in the situation where she would feel you are disappointed for her being shy. she has plenty of fun at this point watching and learning from that, than she does actually doing it. sometime she will probably pop out of that, but for right now, shes doing what comes naturally and normally for her comfort level. just be patient and just always treat her like she is who she is and she doesnt ahve to be anything else.
:D :D