My husband and I are at the end of our rope. Our 2 year old has never been a great sleeper, but about 3 months ago, my husband couldn't stand the sleepless nights anymore and brought him into our bed at 2am. Since then, every other night, he ends up in our bed because he wakes up screaming - sometimes at 1am, sometimes not until 5am and when either of us goes into his room to lay him back down, he almost crawls out of the crib.
We thought he was telling us that he was ready for his own bed, so last night we made a big deal about him sleeping in a big boy bed, put him down, he was quiet for 2 minutes and then started screaming. Knowing we might have a difficult time, we let him cry for about 5 minutes. We went up there, put him back in bed without saying anything and he started screaming immediately. We waited about 15 minutes and tried again. The third time we let him cry for almost an hour. At that point, we heard him throw up and figured it wasn't going to work. We brought him downstairs and he fell asleep with my husband holding him. We took him up, put him in bed, and then he woke up screaming at 5am. I went in there and put him back in bed. We let him cry for about 15 minutes and then my husband went in and got in bed with him.
Does anyone have any ideas for us how we can finally get him to sleep by himself through the night? We never had these issues with our other son who loved to sleep.
We moved our son to his big bed last Sunday and the first 2 nights were horrible. On Tuesday night I pulled out his old aquarium that we used to have on his crib when he was an infant. We attached it to his bed and he's been doing well ever since. We've only had to go in there twice, but he put himself back to sleep. Hopefully we're on the road to him sleeping through the night by himself again. I just hope there aren't any setbacks.
I have to recommend Supper Nanny on ABC. Her technique really works! Goto www.suppernanny.com and scroll down to supper nanny techniques. Click on stay in bed technique and The sleep separation technique(under toddler). I have used then with my kids and they both works if you follow it exactly. Good Luck!!
Hi S.,
I know all kids are different but I can tell you what we did - our now 28 month old started sleeping with us at about 15 months (so we could get some sleep - otherwise he was up a couple of hours in the night). I did not want it to come to that but it did and I kept think we were going to have an awfully hard, hard time with getting him to sleep.
When he was 22 months (7 months later) my husband found a twin size red car bed (looks like a race car or maybe like Lightening McQueen from the movie Cars). He went to sleep in it the first night and for the most part sleeps there every night. I do lay down with him to fall asleep and at first he would get up 2 or 3 times then as time went it would become less and less. Now at 28 months he basically is sleeping through the night - I lay down with him and just before he goes into a deep sleep I get up. I read somewhere that you should leave everything exactly as it will be when they wake up in the night and they will just roll over and go back to sleep. I know this senerio will not be the same for everyone but with time and patience he will be okay. We dealt with nighttime stuff for 13 months - hoping it will go smoothly now. Good luck to you and your family.
Hi, Our children started out sleeping eith us, I actually insisted they do and when my mother-in-law said my son would NEVER stop sleeping with us once we started, I retorted with something to the effect of " how many teenagers sleep with their parents?" It was a remark to shut her up but actually the more I thought about it the more I was convinced that they will grow out of it as soon as they are ready. Mark is 15 and "moved out" when he was barely 2. His decision 100%. Our daughter is 9 and was about 2½ - 3 when she wanted her own room like her big brother has. I think once he feels that he is making the choice and is secure with everything, he will automaticly go back to his own bed. Vanessa wanted us to stay a bit in the begining and I used that time to clean the room.
Hope this helps, J..
A bit about me. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years and am now working full time, living in Denmark but raised in Waterford. Married to a Dane and have 2 great kids
This is something I read about and tried with my little guy when he was just about two and couldn't fall asleep on his own. I started with naptime and it washed over to his bed time automatically.
I couldnt' bear to let my guy cry for so long alone but had a similar issue - when he woke up every night, multiple times a night, either my husband or I needed to go into the room and rock him back to sleep and sneak out. God forbid the door would wake him up or he stand up screaming and the process would start over.
We established a naptime routine. (you could do the same at bedtime) Diaper change, music, 2 books and a sippy. I also read to incorporate a "lovie" which turned out to be sleepy bear - some stuffed animal or blanket that you always include in the routine. We'd change his diaper, turn on his lullaby CD, read the two books while he has his sippy and we cuddle with his lovie, then rock for one more song and I'd tell him - ok it's tiem for your nap now. I'm going to put you in your crib so you can fall asleep." Then I would sit down on the floor next to his crib and let him cry it out - never saying anythign more, just pretending to sleep, maybe occiasionally patting his bum or back. the first time I did this, I sat there for over an hour, he eventually passed out and fell asleep. that was absolute torture by the way...The next time, I moved just a little farther away, then the next time, across the room, then near the door, then in the doorway. Within 10 days I was putting him in his crib saying "ok, it's time for your nap now. I'm goign to put you in your crib so you can fall asleep," and extign the room. by 2 weeks he didnt' cry at all. The positive effects miracously bled over into his night time routine and to his middle of the night wakings. hope it helps!
Hi I agree with the other women on the techniques but I have to add that this is the age where a childs imagination starts. So you really need to be careful of what your child watches on TV and what he is exposed to. They can't tell you yet if something scares them but the simplest things can sometimes cause nightmares. My son wouldn't sleep when he saw anything that showed an animal with big teeth (it took us forever to figure this one out) but we realized we had to stop watching animal planet when he was around.
And on another note they also learn at this age that their actions can control mom and dad, so if they decide that they want you they do what works to get you.
Good luck and I hope you find a solution that works for you.
K.
We co-slept with our son until he was 18 months old, so the transition was a challenge. What worked for us was to have one of us sleep on the floor in his room next to him until he fell back asleep. I would hold his hand through the crib until he fell asleep and it really made him feel safe and comfortable. We did make the mistake a few times and brought him back to bed with us, but none of us ended up getting any sleep. It did take a few weeks, but now he is doing great. If he wakes throughout the night, he usually falls back to sleep within a few minutes. If not, as soon as I lay down next to him on the floor, he is out!
S.,
People have various opinions about this. I had the same problem with 2 children. My girl is 5.5 now and my son is 3.5. After trying everything in the book, we realized that they just love the security of being in our bed. What we did is let them sleep in our bed first. Then move them to their beds later. They seem to be ok with that.
I learned that to be able to take care of them during the day, I need my rest. probably you will hear a lot about how my way is wrong. However, if it gives my kids the secure feeling they need then I am all for it.
I had this same problem with my son when he was that age (he's 4 now) and we finally couldn't take it anymore when our daughter was born. We let him cry. All night. I put a baby gate at his door and he literally cried on and off for about 6 hours. It was a long night, BUT, after that night he cried for about 10 minutes the next and a few minutes the night after that, but then it was done. At the time it was really, really tough but it definitely worked. He knows now that he isn't allowed to get up until 7am and all of our lives are better for it. Lots of luck!
I loved the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It is filled with suggestions and ideas, and other mothers stories, rather than giving you a one size fits all solution. I checked it out at my local library. It stresses creating bedtime routines, being consistent, giving plenty of time, but also being flexible enough to know when and how to adjust things if they are not working. Each of my kids started out sleeping with us, then we moved them to a crib mattress on our floor (or a toddler bed in our room), then we moved them to their own bed in their room. It took about 2 weeks each time we made a transition, but by around age 2 each of our kids was sleeping in their room for the night. Good luck, I know difficult nights are a struggle!
Hi
Just a thought... this is when kids start having nightmares etc... my 2.5 year old can't watch scooby-doo or anything with ghosts with his 5 year old sibbling... something that didn't happen with the oldest one. My son comes in most nights... but I on't mind, he won't be little for long and I don't want him to be scared by himself. They are only little for such a short amount of time... then before you know it he will be rejecting your cuddles. I understand why he cries now when you put him down after his vomit episode. he associates the bed with being alone and scared and sick...maybe back-off for awhile and let him cuddle you till he falls asleep. I sleep some nights in my sons bed with him... the less of a big deal it is for everyone, the better.
Good luck
My 2 1/2 year old is having the same problems. He used to go to bed fine and stay asleep all night and now he cries (& screams) several times when we first put him down and then usually a few times during the night. We aren't sure what the problem is, but we are starting to think he may be afraid of something. Maybe the dark (even though he has a night light) or the shadows or something. Maybe you could try a sound machine if he doesn't already have one. My in-laws use one by Homedics when he stays at their house and he loves it. Below is a link to Amazon.com for the sound machine. It has a projector for the ceiling or wall. Maybe this could help get him to sleep on his own again. Good luck!
-A.
http://www.amazon.com/Homedics-Sound-Lullaby-Relaxation-M...
I have an 18 month old son and I'm experiencing the same problem. Although I cannot offer any advice, I can offer comfort in that you are not alone. I'd give my left arm for a full nights sleep at this point!
My son became completely terrified of his crib after we tried to let him "cry it out". If we tried to put him in it, he would cling to us and cry hysterically. Out of desperation,we put his crib mattress on our bedroom floor and he slept there for months (although he'd still wake up and crawl into our bed every night).
We decided to turn his lifetime crib into a "big boy bed" to see if that helped our cause. He's no longer terrified of his bed but still wakes up every night and wanders into our room...and ends up in our bed!
I'm looking forward to reading the other reponses and hopefully finding a solution for both of us. Good luck
Hi S.,
i used to have the same problem with my older son - he is 7 now- and here is the solution that i used.
every night i wrap him or dress him with the shirt or the blouse that i wear all day. i know that sound sweaty and dirty, but my son found comfort thinking that i'm sleeping with him. since then he never wake up at night.
hope it will work with yours.
