My 2 Year Old Son Picky eater--Help!

My son is a very picky eater. There might be days when he eats very little and it worries me that he is not getting enough nutrients throughout the day. I have come to realize that if I force him to eat it only upset's his stomach. So mom dont force them to eat anything they dont want. Believe me he will learn to tell you what he wants and when he wants to eat.

Hey J.,

I've been working with toddlers for 16+ years, I was a Nanny, now I'm a parent coach. Toddlers often have trouble with textures, flavors that are different. It's a new feeling in your child's mouth, and often it can feel weird to them.

As for what to do, I suggest you keep presenting the food you want your child to eat and encourage them to eat it, also present a food they will eat so they won't go hungry.

Realize if you push the new foods, it will become a power struggle. You and your son will only fight and then food will later become an issue for him. Eventually, he will eat pizza and other foods.

R. Magby

I am the mother of two boys aged 1 and 3. Our house has a mantra: "Mom is not a short order cook." I prepare dinner, and the boys can eat it or leave it. If you leave it, the next meal is served in about 5 hours. Again, eat it or leave it. Trust me, if they're hungry, they'll eat.

Neither of mine is starving. #1 is off the doc's growth charts. #2 (born almost 3 months early w/recurrent ear infections that destroy his appetite) is at the unadjusted 25th percentile. If we age-adjusted him, he'd too be off the charts.

Also, because #1 strays to picky at times, we stagger meals: veggie (usually steamed broccoli, carrots, peas, green beans, corn, etc.) first, fruit second, meat third, bread/dessert last. Milk or water throughout. That way, they eat the best stuff when they're hungriest. Oddly, they follow this pattern even when they're at their grandparents or a restaurant - much to the amazement of those observing.

Hi J.,

Please look thru some old answers to similar questions asked by other moms on mamapedia.

PS: Your 2 year old is normal and his taste buds are still developing. Trying and liking new foods will take introducing him to new foods multiple times over a long term. It is a good idea to give him something new once a week, with no pre-conceived notions on your part. If he likes it good, and if he doesn't, let him try it again 2-3 weeks later.

Giving him same food that you offered for lunch at dinner time, might work if he's hungry. Increasing the gap between meals is another suggestion, he will eat better when he is hungry. Kids go thru growth spurs, at times they eat very well and at others they don't. Please don't be alarmed if he does this.

Please be patient with this process, stand back and observe, keep a food diary for him to keep track of how he is learning to enjoy new foods. Let him explore food textures with his hands and enjoy meal time without any
pressure/stress.

Enjoy meal times together and have fun on this journey together.

You are not a BAD mom, you are doing your best , you sound like a caring mother.

No, you're not being a bad Mom. Start with fixing him something he likes, only in a smaller portion. Then put a small portion of what he won't eat or try. Tell him he can have the whatever he likes only if he eats the whatever he doesn't want to try. If he doesn't eat, let it go. No snacks, no other food. He'll get hungry.
At supper do the same thing, if they don't eat, they will eventually. Now if he REALLY doesn't like something, that's ok......as long as he finds new things to like.
I had a daughter that was this way. I finally just couldn't afford or have the energy after working all day to come home and fix supper for everyone (3 other kids) and then her supper too.....so I told her, you eat what we eat. Period. We made her sit and sit, which didn't work by the way. So I let her go hungry. She finally came around and was fine. But it took a lot of strength, because she didn't eat one day all day! You have to make sure he doesn't get anything else either.
Be strong and hang in there. It will be ok. After he starts trying stuff, be sure to give him rewards some how......Like maybe let him pick what to have for supper one night.
Good luck.

Hello~ I've answered this question many times, so you're not alone. Don't give into him and give him what he wants at all meals. He wins! Instead, explain to him what "we're" having and maybe mix it up with things he does like. Cut it up, give him silverware and try not to make a big deal out of it. You can tell him, "When you're done you could have a fruit cup and/or little treat". Eventually, he'll eat! Sometimes its the look and texture, but they really don't know that they don't like it until the try it. If you continue to give him only what "he" eats, it'll never change and it will get worse and he gets older. Set a time period for yourself and be consistent. It'll work, don't give up! Good Luck.......

Hopefully he will soon start trying new foods. I have a cousin who has a granddaughter who eats even less than your son does, but shes already 5. But I don't feel they've done the best for her, because when we have family dinners, like Thanksgiving, etc, they will bring her chicken nuggets to eat!! Some of my grandchildren were slightly selective at 2 years old, but the youngest one who is now 3 1/2 eats pretty much everything his Mom cooks and she always has a home cooked meal for dinner. I think at lunch time they usually eat a sandwich or maybe a frozen pizza or pot pie. He used to not even eat bread, but now does. Just try encouraging him to eat new things occasionally, and maybe even talk about how GOOD it is while you eat it yourself. I'm not sure what he'd do if you only gave him certain choices if he'd try to eat the food or not, but, as long as he is eating some good veggies, some good healthy meat, and drinking milk (or getting milk in pudding) he should be healthy enough. I'd suggest talking to his doctor about it also, or else a diatician. Good luck!

We had a very picky eater and have struggled with food since she started eating solid food. Living close to her grandparents she was getting spoiled with lots of sugar and started to whine for it and only it all day. She would push away anything we put in front of her. For a good while we really fretted over this and then we started making lots of changes and overall they have worked very well. As a general rule for our family we don’t eat processed foods and now the grands have to hand out nuts instead of Oreos. Since I cook most things from scratch I can sneak good things in. I have found my daughter prefers crunchy textured food or pasta/rice. I cook chicken breast into strips and coat them with pureed vegetables and roll them in whole wheat bread crumbs. For fish I coat with bread crumbs and fresh grated parmesan cheese with makes a yummy crunchy coating. I have a dehydrator and make veggie chips. She eats nuts and dried berries as snacks. I use spaghetti squash for noodles and cook only brown rice. I make chocolate pudding using avocado, mashed potatoes with cauliflower, and tomato sauce with butternut squash (a la sneaky chef). I make “potato chips” using kale leafs baked in the oven. There are all sorts of ways to get nutrients into the food.

However, we also make her try at least one bite from whatever I make; we don’t allow her to say she doesn’t like it by sight. At first she was hesitant but now (almost three) she tries at least one bite and decides from there to eat it or not. Often she decides not to eat it but sometimes she adds a new food to her OK list. I have also allowed her into the kitchen and garden to help me prepare her food so she is invested into it more. We make together homemade ice cream, fruit cobblers, and sometimes cookies she gets to eat after she eats her dinner. If she fails to try her food items she doesn't get to taste her dessert either, no big deal, just "OK well we can't have that dessert because you didn't hold up your end of the bargain." I don't consider this a bribe because I think as an adult I want her to realize dessert is a treat not an alternative to healthy food. This year she planted some strawberries and we went to the farm we buy a CSA at for her to gather the eggs and see the crops. We talk about her food and why we eat what we do, it’s amazing how smart they are. She often tells us,” I am eating fish to make me smarter” or “this salad will make my muscles big like daddy” "Sweet potatoes will help me play more". Keep working at it, it will pay off with a child that has good habits for life.

My son is also a picky eater. He is now 4 and basically will only eat chicken nuggets, fries, fish sticks, apple sauce, mac and cheese, fried chicken or fish, PB&J and juice. Honestly, I am just grateful that he will eat. Because we are limited on what he will eat I make sure he gets a daily vitamin. I started giving him the Adam & Eve Fruitables juices, because it contains both fruit and vegetable juices and has less sugar. I give him the Disney chicken nuggets that have less saturated fact and the coating is whole grains. Also, I make his fries in the oven rather than in oil. I really do believe they go through a stage with their eating.

Neerja is correct, There are a ton of this Exact question from moms every week here on mamasource.. As moms we feel like we are not good moms if our children will not eat what we provide.. Children will not starve. Feed him what you eat, only in tiny portions on a tiny plate. If he doesn't eat, Oh well so sad too bad. He does need to sit at the table till everybody else finishes.

If he does eat something on the plate, quietly place another tiny serving on the plate, do not make a big deal out of it.

Do not give him snacks except at real snack time and even then make sure it is a very healthy snack. Fruit, veggies, whole wheat toast with peanut butter etc..

Do NOT make a big deal out of any of this. Do not beg him, do not make disappointed comments.
I am sending you strength.

Yes, give it to him again at dinner, and no you aren't being a bad mom for doing so. Actually you're being a good mother. What better time to let him know who's boss, and that you do what you do because it's for his own good and you love him.
I had a two year old who was exactly as you describe except he would eat peanut butter and jelly. It was very frustrating and I worried because he was below the national percentile weight guideline. I started giving him a multi-vitamin every morning with breakfast and eventually (5-6 yrs. old) he stopped being so 'picky'. Eating with other children helped too.