My 2 Year Old Likes to Run. Help!

I have this same issue with my 2yo, clearly it's an age thing. My friend recently told me to buy a "kid leash". Never in my wildest dreams would I think I'd succomb to one of those, but I've really been pondering it:)

We finally started using a harness on my daughter. I have a baby, and try as I might to insist that she hold my hand, I couldn't risk her safety running off in parking lots and public places - I couldn't simply leave the baby to chase after her. In parking lots I still insisted she hold my hand so that she knew that was the rule, and now that she's a little older we don't use the harness much and she knows to hold my hand and does it well.

Well, to be honest the only thing that worked with my runner was age/time. For the time period we got him a "kiddie leash" for when we needed to go to the store etc. However there was also the added we are not going to go to xyz because to run away from mommy/daddy and we can not have that so when you can learn to stay with us we can go do xyz. My son is 4 and his running is curbed greatly; we only use the leash in busy malls/airports/parades places where there are too many people to keep track of anyone let alone a 4yr old.

And for those who say leashes are for dogs not kids ... I have 3 dogs and I love my son more than them; however at this age they listen about as well as a distracted/pointing dog.

For just in general:

I taught my son a game when he was 2... I would whistle and he'd run and come touch my legs and wait until I said 'go' before he could run again. I 'invented' this game because kiddo was *fast*. We'd do it all the time, at different distances. 10 feet, 100 feet... piercing whistle and he'd turn on heel and run back to me. Most of the time I'd send him right back out, sometimes I'd have him do something goofy, sometimes I'd tickle him. Each and every single day I cemented in the 'game'. It really taught him to both *keep an ear out* for me, come when I called, and to wait a moment to find out what was going on. Started out as a game, became a RULE. Turned out to be UBER useful over the years. At age 8 out playing with his friends all I have to do is whistle and he comes and checks in with me. Each and every time. I can whistle a *lot* louder than I can yell, and it's soooo much less embarrassing than having your mom yelling at you when you're older.

For streets:

I gave my son 2 options. 1) Hold hands and walk NICELY (no struggles, pulling away, sneaky business) or 2) Be carried.

((I also gave the same rule to every kid in my care. Nope. I don't care HOW much you throw a tantrum, scream, cry, act like I'm murdering you. If you don't hold hands while crossing the street, you get carried.))

In potential response to the people who are offended by leashes, I would MUCH rather see a child on a safety leash than lying injured in a parking lot or street, because they managed to run off.

I don't know if it would be possible for you to remind him that he can run in your backyard, and in parks, where there is grass, but not on pavement, like sidewalks, streets, or parking lots. Maybe he would see the differerence? Unfortunately, it takes time for them to understand the difference. You are doing a great job by letting him have the time he needs to run it off. Would it be possible to let him run for 5 minutes or so before you need to go somewhere? Maybe that would help ease that "pent up" energy so many little ones have.

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I would definitely employ a leash at this point, especially in a parking lot or store. Your son's safety is much more important than other people's opinions on a "leash" for a kid.
My son was not a runner, so this may not have as much impact on your son, but when he was about two these are some scenarios we went through:
We were playing/gardening in the front yard one day and he was getting closer and closer to the street. I walked him to the curb, holding his hand, and showed him the street. I told him, "Your feet stay on the grass. There are cars in the street and they go very fast and are very dangerous (showing him a passing car). If you go in the street, we go inside." He, of course, went right to the curb and put his toe in the street - I allowed this as I watched unnoticed to make sure there were no cars, and as soon as his toe hit the street, I went and took his hand and led him into the house. He CRIED and said "outside!" I gave him the rundown again about cars and told him we would try again later. We went back out about an hour later and I repeated the rules again. He never tried to go to the street again, and started telling everyone he saw "Cars in the street. DANGER!"
About a year later, he started running in a parking lot where there were lots of cars, some moving (which had never happened before) and it scared the bejeezus out of me! My hands were full and I had to drop everything (literally), and catch him. I grabbed him arm and shouted at him "Don't EVER run in a parking lot, you could have been hurt!" Then gave him a huge hug. My reaction obviously made an impression because that never happened again either (I also made sure I was holding his hand from then on).
When my daughter was two I had the rule that she HAD to be sitting in the cart, even if that meant a tantrum and nasty looks from others (which happened more than once). Now that I have two trustworthy kids the rule is "hands on the cart" and I won't move out of the store until they are holding on. Once we get to the car I ask them to hold the car in place "Don't let it roll away! Hold it tight!" They love this game and will stand so still with two hands on the car while I open the door.
Explain to your son the dangers around him, and stick to your safety rules no matter what. He will get it eventually!

I also support safety harnesses when used appropriately--this is an appropriate situation. I too would rather a parent harness their child than lose them to an accident in a parking lot. Our daughter loved hers and would ask for it. When we used ours, we still enforced hand holding in parking lots and standing still--it was just added insurance.

http://www.the-baby-boutique.com/littlesafetyharness.html

You're probably not going to get a lot of response from a 2 yr old. I would work and physically prevent it. Then when he's older, he can verbally obey. With my 2 yr old, I know when we go out, she'll take off running, and I have to keep my hand on her during times where it's dangerous.

Like others have mentioned, the harness things are so cute and safe. Some people are opposed and things it's degrading to a child. I see it as allowing a child to have freedom and explore the world by still being safe. That might be a good option.

This is where "discipline" as in teaching him not to run away when you call him HAS IT'S PLACE!!! Punishment would be making him regret doing something he had no idea about for no purpose. I hate the word "punishment" regarding teaching toddlers valuable skills through discipline.

If you discipline him firmly and effectively after ONE WARNING to come when called, he will not run away anymore. Kids are smart and they want to learn, they're just too young for words, time outs and explanations to sink in at this age. Thus the myth they don't have impulse control. They only don't use impulse control with these ineffective tactics. Holding hands and verbally teaching is nice, but you nailed it, he thinks it's a game, and he could run away and jerk free and keep on laughing all the way to the street while you call him in vain.

You will in no way be impeding his running by swatting his butt when he runs away after you told him to stop, because when he is in an appropriate play setting, you won't be telling him not to run. It's not about running, it's about doing what you say. Thanks to discipline all of our toddlers knew to stay with us and come when called which is a HUGE safety assurance.

Sure you can get leashes and strollers and all that, but you don't always have them ready in that split second in the parking lot while dealing with straps in the other kids etc. Having kids who respond to verbal communication in all situations is GOLDEN. Give your kids the gift of great self control, especially when it comes to running away. Discipline this FIRMLY, calmly and clearly.

I also swatted each of the kids once in front of our house when a toe hit the street while teaching them the rule. Saved our butts when the flaky in laws visited and kept "leaving the screen door cracked letting them out" They KNEW not to leave the porch or touch the street. Yes, after the second time the in laws disregarded my request to not use that door, I locked it and moved their car to the back despite their protests, but for the two times toddlers escaped without my knowledge, they did not go into the street. Likewise I can't count how many times I've said "Stop" to my toddlers and been relieved that they do stop when I'm not in a position to stop them.

I agree with Kathleen R.

Each of my children have been spanked exactly ONCE in their lives. When they got old enough to want to run (or even walk), we'd go outside and play. They would inevitable get closer to the street. I took them to the edge of the street and said they were not to put ONE TOE out into the street without holding Mommy or Daddy's hand.

Each one of them then tried it at some point. The MINUTE their toe hit the pavement, they got a swat on their backside (usually diapered, but you know, it got their attention) and then we had to go inside. This got more effective as I had more children, because we ALL had to go inside, so there were then angry siblings. lol

My children never stepped out into the street a second time, not even my runners.

I also have the rule that if they try to run in a parking lot, sidewalk, street, in a store (anywhere that isn't approved like our yard or the park), then we get back in the car, and we go home. Then we try again later that day. This is true even if I'm in the checkout line and have a full cart. I hand the cart to an employee, apologize for the work they'll have of putting everything away, and we go home. I realize this method takes a LOT of time and energy out of the parent's day, and it's frustrating for me and the other children. With six children, getting them all packed into the car is a process. But I feel it's worth it to get my point across that this is NOT ALLOWED.

Also...leashes. I agree that they're amazing for sanity. The looks people give me! My response is "you leash your dog...I love my child just a little more than my dog."

Safety is safety! :)

(as an aside. If your little guy is tiring you out wanting you to chase him, introduce games like "Red Light, Green Light, Yellow Light, STOP" and "Mother May I?". And remember...balls are your best friend. Throw them and let him run after them! :)

This is a huge issue for me. My grandson is just getting to this stage. If he even takes a step away from me that I haven't told him to I take him inside the house. In parking lots I carry him still. I'm hyper-vigilant about this issue. They are so fast and he's made it to the front porch twice in the last month. It's hard. I'll be glad when this stage is over. But since I run a daycare I never get to relax. I am ALWAYS in this stage with someone.

My son is a runner too! I feel like the crazy woman always chasing her kid! My son likes to be independent so one thing that has sorta worked is giving him a choice...do you want to walk or be carried (he always chooses walk) then saying ok well if you run away etc. then you will have to be carried. This has curbed it a bit. I have found choices work really well at his stage for all areas of life. he is 27 months...
Good luck!
Oh we do the same w/ the stroller if we're walking he has to hold onto the stroller and if he starts running away then he has to ride...doesn't work for all situations, or for when you NEED them to walk! :)

My youngest was the same way! I just went to Target and bought him a harness. It's like a little monkey backpack with a leash, and well worth the peace of mind knowing that he can't take off in a crowd or parking lot or street. :)

To be honest, I don't think I would have understood until about a year and a half ago. My first 3 children all stayed near me w/o any trouble at that age, so I never quite understood when I saw other moms struggled to keep their toddlers with them....then I had my daughter!!! She was a runner- she even managed a few times to wriggle her hand away from mine and take off running- so scary!
Anyway, I was about to buy one of those backpacks with the leash attached, but winter came- and it was a lousy one, to say the least, so I hardly ever took her anywhere. She turned 3 in Feb., and she stays next to me nicely now (but I still don't trust her 100%). I make her hold my hand in parking lots, but she wants to hold her own hand in stores- lol. She does stay next to me though.

So I totally get it- I think the leash is a great idea for peace of mind- and there's a light at the end of the tunnel !! :oD

Hi. We tell are son in a postive way (2 yrs 8 mos.) -- we can run in the park or open spaces -- we walk in the apt, stores etc... We just keep repeating it and do like you do: enable lots of running outdoors.

sounds like you are doing a great job and a greaat momma.

I can't remember the exact age, but taught my son the stop and go game. It is the same idea as Red Light Green Light... I just chose to use other words that he might "get" easier than red light green light. I didn't use that in places like parking lots though because I didn't want him to think that he could run as part of a game in dangerous places. We'd use it as practice in places like parks where I didn't want him to get too far away from me.

I would totally get a leash. YOu may or may not every have to use it more than once. Let him know that he needs to stay close enough to touch you, and if he gets too far away then he will have to wear it. Don't get angry about it or show a lot of emotion about it especially if he's very responsive to getting a reaction from you. At two, kids understand natural consequences, and if you're consistent he will quickly learn.

If he throws a fit about wearing it, having to hold your hand, having to ride in the shopping cart etc... correct him and tell him if he can't be calm and (walk with you, hold your hand, ride int he cart etc...) you will go home, and follow through with this. I used to prep my son about the expectations every time we went to the store... if you this we will do this. If you can't take him home, (maybe you're in a grocery store with a full cart)... tell him the store is a big kid place and if he can't stay with you and/or throws a tantrum then you'll both sit in the until he can behave in the store. I had to do this with my son more than once... I just parked my cart, and let a checker know I'd be back in a few minutes.

Good luck~ I used to have nightmares about my very active son getting hurt because he just didn't know fear for a long time. Now that he's older it's much better.

We do the two choices too. 1) he holds are hand or 2) he gets carried. Thank god he hates being carried!

This happened with my twins (my son still does it BUT he doesn't understand, major special needs, in parking lots and such he is in his special needs stroller). What I did with my twins was I used a "leash" it was a monkey backpack that had a long tail on it that went on our wrists, as soon as they got out of that phase I put them away. It worked out really nice and even my husband said too bad they didn't have these when Ryan (my son) was little. If you are interested in something like this just because I ran across one of them the other day in either my van or the garage, I will send it to you, if you could pay for the shipping that would be great. Send me a message.

we're playing stop and go in the house (think red light, green light). The kids think it's a blast.

If you son wants to be able to walk - in a store, parking lot, etc. then ensure that he understands that this is a privilege. Otherwise he's stuck in a shopping cart or umbrella stroller. I bet if you do that a few times, he'll WALK.

These work wonders: http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&sugexp=l...