My 23 month old used to have problems sleeping and still does. She used to fall asleep well and wake up in the middle of the night all night. Then she went through a sleep 2 hours and be up for 6 then pass out and wake up an hour later and be cranky all day phase. Then we went through the sleep all night and wake up at 5am phase. Then the wont go to sleep till 1am and only sleeps till 6 phase. and now we are in the "no nap" and "no bed" phase. She gives us hell every night while we try and put her to bed in her crib. we want to move her to a toddler bed but since three of us share a room its really hard to baby proof it. also it takes her sometimes anywhere from 1 to 3 hours to actually fall asleep and "cry it out" used to work but now it doesnt she just screams so loud she bothers other people and she makes herself vomit , either by crying so hard or by sticking her hand down her throat cause she knows if she throws up and is choking on it we will come upstairs and pick her up and clean her and change the bed and she will get back into daddys lap. I dont know what we are supposed to do we have tried basically everything. And since we cant put her in a big girl bed or put her in her own room we have to walk around quietly because if we make noise in our room at night when we go to sleep she wakes up and wants to be with us. So this creates tension between us parents as well. Help????
No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers - Elizabeth Pantley. Worked for us.
A.,
I cannot respond to all the issues you are having with your daughter but I might suggest a box fan for noise in your bedroom where you all sleep.
We have a very small house and my ds's room is right next to the kitchen and we turn this box fan on, facing a wall, whenever he sleeps and now we can put dishes away and talk in normal voices. When we do sleep with him in the same room (going to relatives' homes) we bring the fan and it works like a charm. He sleeps and we sleep. We always had music in his room but it just didn't cut out the excess noises from the rest of the house and he would wake up. We're at the point now where he's just started sleeping in his big boy bed and doesn't want the door shut, we leave it open with the fan on and no problems with noise. Walgreens has these fans, the cheaper the better!
Good luck! I hope you can get some good rest.
H.
I just posted a similar question. Let's check each others' responses!
You need to pick one way of handling this bedtime and stick with it. Every time she gets out of her bed put her back and no talking to her. Even if she throws up. Clean her up with out a word and put her back in bed.
Here is what I also like to remind parents...
Your child needs lots of active play. . Mid morning, she needs at LEAST 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours is best of really active running, screaming, climbing, riding bikes, swinging, swimming,hopping jumping. This active play makes a huge difference. Then bring her inside or home and have a quiet lunch, (no tv or cell phone calls) a warm face and hand rub with a wash cloth and quiet time in her room with music, or sound machine. Since it is still so bright, you may need to get some black out curtains. ( I used to hang quilts) In the summer I turn down the air conditioner.
After nap, maybe some watered down juice and then some quiet play and then active play again, she really needs to be able to just run. We used to gather as a neighborhood with some cold drinks and just let our kids run and play for as long as possible.. We would tell them, "run like the wind... Run some more, how fast can you run.. Jump, jump higher." Then in for dinner, a quiet bath and then pop them into bed.. It was awesome..
For a night time routine. Have a quiet dinner, no TV ,No cell phones.
Place child in a warm tub, with very little quiet play. Then you wash your child use strong massaging like rubs with the baby wash cloth. Make sure it looks dark in the hallway again no TV or cell phone sounds. Carry your child into a slightly darkened bedroom (remember black out curtains)with soft music or a sound machine. Dry your child with strong rubs to dry her off again like a massage. Place in her in her pajamas. Using a softer voice read her a story. We used to read 2 or 3 books and as we read each book, we would read slower and slower. Turn out the lights and leave.
Do this EVERY night.. Even on the weekends.. It is worth it to stay on this schedule.
I am sending you strength, patience and a good nights sleep.
Sounds like she is a tough kid on sleeping issues. I'd say keep her in the crib as long as you can--at least she is contained--even if you move it into her room. A calm, consistent bedtime routine helps a lot. There are a lot of sleep books but one suggests going in every few minutes and increasing the time. When one of my kids is giving me a hard time at bedtime I sometimes sit in their room or by the door and read with a book light until they fall asleep (they know I am right there but I am quiet and not giving them any attention) . I did that every night for a while when I just had my older one but it gets to be a pain when it is every night.
First of all, my sympathies. My niece was like that. My sister discovered that it was from giving her chocolate milk during the day. She'd wake up with "chocolate nightmares." So first, I'd check her diet and see if you can detect a pattern. Food additives are notorious for causing strange reactions in children. Sticking her hand down her throat may not be to get your attention, she may be instinctively trying to get something out of her body. Have you had your house and her toys tested for lead? The water? There can be things in water, especially well water, that can affect a child's brain and body.
Once you rule any physical causes out, look at your environment. I bet you're really stressed out from all of this. Any problems or issues between you and Daddy? Tension, etc., little kids pick up on this. Any problems with daycare or relatives? It's hard, I know, when you want time to yourselves, and they won't go to sleep. Been there.
My routine was supper, then a bath, singing songs for about 1/2 an hour, then off to kiss Daddy goodnight, and reading stories for another half hour. After that, Raffi music. If my son was still awake, he would say, "more music!" and I would put it on again. He did go through phases where he wanted to sleep with me, and well, I let him. Off and on up till about oh, till he went to school.
Is she getting enough exercise during the day? My daughter takes my granddaughter to an inexpensive gymnastics program. If you can afford that, can you get her some exercise? I used to get down on the floor and play with my kids, make little tents out of a blanket draped over furniture and put cushions inside, etc. (and will encourage quiet time, even if she doesn't nap). They like feeling secure, especially since at that age, they have very little control over their lives. It's best to limit them to a couple of choices. Don't ask yes/no questions. Say, "do you want cheese or milk? The red shirt or the pink shirt?" Like that.
They also like repetition. Watching the same movie over and over. Reading the same book again and again. The same songs, etc. It makes them feel secure, knowing the outcome of these things. Your daughter is not doing it on purpose to get to you. She is telling you something.
Could you and your husband have your "alone time" in the living room, then go to bed? That way if she wakes up, she can crawl into bed with you and you can all sleep. It's hard sleeping with a toddler in bed, I know. But it's not the end of the world. They do eventually go to their own bed, especially if they get the same routine, every night, like clockwork. Don't deviate from the routine as much as possible, so she feels secure. Give her her cuddly toy, a nightlight, and some relaxing music. No TV before bedtime, and no violent movies or shows, ever. Give her a snack before supper, just a small one, to avoid the dinnertime cranky blues. Let her eat what she wants off her plate, then say, "all done!" when you and Dad are finished. And cheerfully get her into her routine. Hope it works out for you, they are only little once, and this too, shall pass. Good luck!
Im interested into the answers you get. Mine does the same thing one thing that was advised and worked for me or helped were doing better but still need work is giving carnation instant breakfast drink at night bless who gave this advice. I also give him a warm epsom salt bath at 9.00 pm . He plays hard in the bath epsom salt is a muscle relaxer wash in night time baby wash rub on night time lotion put them to bed with daddy only you stay out of the room. They tend to want daddy less. I leave tv on mine is scared of the dark.
If they don't lay down make daddy bark lay down. in that deep daddy tone. If they wake up you don't respond you continue to lay down and whisper to daddy bark at your child. In that deep daddy tone he hears lay down. sometimes works` somtimes not. If you find anything else that helps send me a private message and let me know please. goood luck
