My 2 Year Old Daughter Will Not Gain Weight

It is not uncommon for children this age to eat only a few certain things and only want those and only those. You said that she will eat fruit all day long if you let her. So why not? That's not idealy what she should eat but it's better than the junk I see a lot of parents feeding their kids all the time. Plus fruit is at least full of nutrient and vitamins. Also a lot of sugar though too so even if you can stuff a few spoon fulls of cottage cheese in her just so she gets some protein with it. But again, this is not uncommon for many children. I will make all kinds of things for my 2-year-old and he'll take a couple of bites and be done but then want to eat half a box of cheerios. Kids won't eat what you put in front of them just because you do. Maybe let her have a little more freedom on what you give her and not try to worry that she didn't eat what you made. That happens a lot. Just let her eat freely for a little while and see if that helps her weight.

Just wanted to let you know my daughter never made it on to the charts. Some kids are just small. I am glad I never pushed her to eat. She's now a healthy 20 year old whose 5'2'' and 110lbs. She just happens to be petite.

Please don't take offense to my advice because, trust me, I know how frustrating the issue of eating can be. Keep in mind I only have your request and your "so what happened" remarks to go off of.

It sounds like you're getting very worked up and frustrated over this. (I know - what parent wouldn't be concerned or upset!) But...do you think perhaps your attitude about eating might be causing some anxiety or control issues for your daughter? As in, she has learned that she can push your buttons by refusing to eat or that she knows she can get a rise or a reaction out of you by being picky and difficult?

I wouldn't worry about the 7th percentile; everyone has to fit somewhere on the charts! Also, take a look at your family: are you tall/large framed people or are you shorter/small framed people? If she looks like your general shape then just do like you've been doing and keep an eye on things.

Not saying you're making a big deal in front of her about the whole issue of eating, but maybe try making meal times less of a struggle if they currently are. In other words, put the food out and if she eats it, fine and if she doesn't fine. Don't yell, push, beg, plead, bribe, sigh, make comments, etc.. Try not to bring a lot of attention to meal time - just give her the food and let that be that. She doesn't eat? Clean it up and go about your business. If she's doing this for attention or a reaction and if you stop giving it to her (again, if this is the case), then maybe she won't find the 'game' to be so enticing.

Or...you could already be doing this and I could be totally off-base!

Either way hang in there - I know this can be frustrating.

K.- I completely understand your frustration. My daughter is 2 & is a horribly picky eater. In her case, she has had texture adversion since way back when she began eating baby food.It has been a very long road, but she has been on table foods since about 14 mos. old. We have gone to a nutritionist, and even with the little bit of food she eats, she is getting all nutrients but Omega 3 daily. My advice to you is to not push her at all. Like the previous post said, offer a variety of foods & let her be. My daughter won't eat meats or veggies, so she eats alot of peanut butter, sun butter & V8 juices. It's not by any means the ideal diet, but she gets her nutrition & I just keep offering the things I would like to see her eat. Try smoothies as well, you can sneak some foods in there for her. Good luck to you!

Oh, honey, WHO CARES what percentile she is on. Is she healthy? Does she have energy to run and play?

If yes, then she is FINE! Pediatricians get really hung up on these charts. I was so lucky in that my first doctor for my baby was a FAMILY doctor and he never even looked at the percentiles.

My advice is to go to a FAMILY doctor, not a ped. Or else, keep the ped. and do what you are doing. From one to two, growth DOES slow down.

My cousin had a preemie, and he was like yours small... until he turned 3 and then he took off growing.

I can't believe that in a country with an obesity epidemic, that your doctor or anyone else would try to get you to encourage your child to eat PAST her hunger. She is eating what she wants, when she wants it, and listening to her body.

For now, what I would do is just do what you are doing. Offer her food many times during the day. You can even let her have sweets or fatty foods like french fries, chicken nuggets, or BUTTER. My little guy loved toast with tons of real butter. Mmmm....

You can even put some sugar on top, I learned that from Paula Deen, she used to give that to her babies.

Pediasure is basically sugar and fat. IT's gross. I would rather see you give her a homemade milkshake than that garbage. I was advised with my son to give him Pediasure, too, and I didn't. I just let him eat what he wanted and grow as he was meant to grow. Now he's almost four and he is so TALL. Still skinny, but thank God he doesn't have to worry about the obesity problem that so many in our country do. Just feed your baby what she likes. She'll grow. Don't obsess over it.

It's also totally normal for a child that age to have days that they don't want to know from food... and days where they EAT ALL DAY. That's just her, listening to her body. Don't mess with that. respect it and let her eat to her hunger. That's what we all should do, and then we wouldn't be a country full of fat people!

I would say have her tested for the intolerances and if that comes back normal, that you should deal with the "picky eater" aspect of things. If she is picky with what she will eat you might want to think about being a little firmer with her as far as that goes. I decided after watching other moms with picky eaters, I decided that with my own child it wouldn't be up to him what he ate. How much and when (maybe) yes. It took two small "trials" with him refusing a meal made for him to understand that this was something that MOM made choices about and not him. He eats everything up to and including brussel sprouts and broccolli without complaint and has ,himself, made choices for fruit over candy. I also made it a point to offer a variety of different fruits and veggies. It makes for less monotony and just because something I am offering him isn't something that I enjoy or eat doesn't mean that he wouldn't or won't. While it can feel like being harsh when being firm over food, in the long run it will benefit you as well as your child. My little one has learned that we as people eat to live and not live to eat. He is 45 inches and 50lbs at the age of 4 after being a preemie as well.

I hope that these resources might be helpful for you...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030500.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T031100.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T031300.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T031900.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T031500

Best wishes,
J.

My daughter didn't show a lot of growth between age 1 and age 2. I attribute it to soy milk. As soon as she was able to drink regular milk (age 2), she grew! I know others who had a problem with their kids not growing and narrowed it down to the soy milk. One of the kids grew 3/4 an inch in a very short period of time after switching to a different milk.

If that's not it, keep offering her food at regular times. Add butter to veggies and provide dips for a few more calories. Does she have regular bowel movements? My daughter doesn't eat much when she's constipated.

Sounds like your doctor's trying to help. Perhaps he'll be able to do some testing or something if she's not gaining in the two months. Hang in there; being a mom is hard and every kid is different.

i agree about testing for allergies or intolerances. Failure to thrive is a big symptom of some GI food allergies (like eosinophillic stuff). www.kidswithfoodallergies.org is a great resource, message boards, recipes - even if your child doesn't have food allergies. I believe you can have partial access to the resources pages w/o signing up. http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcesnew.php

here's the gi page: http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcetopic.php?to...

A ped allergies and/or Ped GI would be who you'd see.

Also a excellent books:
Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter
How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much by Ellyn Satter

Getting enough healthy fat into the the diet of some food allergic kids on KFA.org (above) is a problem. Many parents give olive oil mixed in a lot of stuff. There's lots of advice and help on there.

I too have a preemie and he has always been a picky eater. He wasn't even ever on the weight charts until he was 3. He is now 4 and weighs 31.5 lbs. Between his 2 and 3 yr appt I think that he only gained 8 oz. I used to drive myself crazy about it. The Dr was going to label him failure to thrive but since he was growing taller they didn't. I did have him see a dietician for a short time. She had us put butter and/or olive oil on everything. We do a lot of peanut butter things too. When he was littler I tried to make sure he was eating the yo-baby yogurts since they are made with whole milk. He didn't really like them though. Now that he is a little older and sees commercials he likes to pick out food, such as Trix's yogurt. Not my favorite but at least he is eating. Just make sure your child is eating and they say that everything balances out and that they won't starve. I could maybe argue with that idea. Good luck.

I have known this to be called failure to thrive.
Vitamins and nutrients are the key. Getting them in her is the next problem. What does she like? Getting good food and nutrition into her will stimulate her appetite.
The food kids like to eat doesn't have all the nutrients that she is requiring.

Shaklee makes a great shake called Meal Shake which the children love , it tastes good and you could begin to get good stuff into her. It's a catch 22.

My daughter will be 3 next month and only weighs 24 pounds. My son will be 5 in January and weighs 28 pounds. Their doctor stopped telling me the percentile because they said it only stresses me out. I have since not worried about it. They eat great most days and then other days they aren't so great. I've been told by their daycare provider that they both eat great for both breakfast, lunch and at snack times. I've stopped worrying. We tried the Pedisure and that didn't help one bit. I now have the kids on gummies from Juice Plus. They have 3 of each (veggies and fruits), so I know at least they now have thier daily veggies and fruits. I now sell Juice Plus (incase you are intersted). Let me know. I don't push them, but the kids see them as a treat and remind me that they need their "MINS".

hello K.
I feel for you and I want to help.
I am a Day care provider and I seen this problem before with a child I had here.
I am offering you free of charge that you come to my home at lunchtime with your little girl so she can eat with the rest of my little girls.I have 2 more children here your daughters age. I think she will eat in a group with ''friends''
Please feel free to come here you will see once she is with other children she will enjoy eating. NO CHARGE I just care
I am in Gurnee on huntclub and 120
feel free to call me ###-###-####
bye from M.

I have dealt with this same issue with my 3 year old daughter since she was about 6 months old. After ruling out any GI problems, ect, we started on Pediasure. She would drink the Pediasure, but that further supressed her tiny appetite. So in the end, I've come to realize that there is only so much that you can do. You cannot force them to eat. And, as long as they are otherwise healthy, it's probably not something to worry too much about. My daughter is now 3 years and weighs in at a whooping 23 pounds, and my baby is underweight as well - I think it's just in the genes. So try not to stress too much.

My sister's son had the same issue for the longest time. He was a picky eater and to top it off was sensitive to textures as well with food. She fed him noodles, pizza, hot dogs and milk. He was the smallest for a long time and when I saw him last, he is finally starting to bulk up a little. Her doctor told her the same thing. She always made sure he was hydrated and the doctor told her to feed him what he would eat. Anything goes, basically! She didn't give him a lot of sweets and still doesn't, but he is eating better. Still has texture issues, but she feeds him what he wants and will eat and he is fine and healthy.

Take it easy and let her guide her. Believe me, they only eat when they want to anyway. She will let you know. You can try the PediSure, but I have heard that some kids don't like the taste of it. Anything is worth a shot. You are doing the right thing asking questions, but don't worry.

As long as they are monitoring it and are aware of your concerns, at this point I would take their advice and follow their recommendations. If you are really concerned, seek a 2nd opinion to ease your mind. I have a son who is 2 yrs 8.5 mos and only weighs 26 lbs- he does eat everything under the sun, so we don't have a picky eater on our hands, but he has always been in the 5th percentile for weight (we may have hit the 10th once). He has gained maybe a 1-2 lbs so far this year and sprouted up.
Good luck
LK

Hi. I know you posted this a while back. But your post gave me some peace of mind. I wasn't sure there were others who's children were so small. My son is almost 2 1/2, and he weighs about 22 pounds. He's slowly growing taller, but looking thinner and thinner and it worries me. :( but he too was premature. I went into labor at 35w 5d & had him at 36w. So his dr says that there's nothing to worry about. But anyways just saying thanx I found your post very helpful. :D

It sounds like my daughter although she wasn't a preemie. My daughter was 3 in July and just hit 30 lbs. She has always been petite and my doctor as never been concerned. I don't even bother to ask what growth percentile she is. She is also a picky eater and it seems like she will go a day or two and only snack but then will make up for it the next day. Try not to stress about it if she is healthy and active. I give her Carnation Instant Breakfast and her multivitamin to help a little (she won't have anything to do with Pedia Sure!)

Try not to compare her to other kids. My son was 25 lbs when he turned a year old. He is 9 nine and is over 5'2' and 125lbs (almost taller than me!) He is by far the tallest in his class and my daughter is the smallest in hers. Go figure!

K.
My daughter was not a preemie, but I can sympathize with you on the weight. At 15m she was 18# 2oz (0%), at 18m 20# 0oz. (3%), and at 2 she was 21#12oz (I just got a down arrow, no %). I had to take her in for frequent visits because of the "low" weight. She'll be 3 next month, and on our home scale she weighs about 25lbs. I know the dr.s scale and ours aren't calibrated the same though, I never seem to get the same read at home.
Anyhow, she eats a good variety, better than her 5 yo brother. She grows in height, and head circumference. She is not lethargic, she is very active and bright.
At one of her appts., maybe the 15 m, the doctor gave me a sheet of "things" I could feed her to bulk her up. Like pediasure, dr. said I could give her the carnation instant breakfast powder in her milk, butter her bread on both sides, feed her fattening things... however I only did the things I felt comfortable with. Granted she wasn't yet 2, I didn't like some of the suggestions, like lard. I didn't want to get her eating something with high fat content, and then have to stop after she didn't need it anymore. After she turned 2, I still had concern, but didn't focus on it so much. She was growing, and not showing signs of ill health.
I myself am not that big (5'1" - 115lbs), and I think that heredity takes a big part in her characteristics.
If I were you, I would keep it in the back of my mind and continue to offer her good choices. If you can add sprinkles of this or that to add calories, great. If she wants to be choosy it may be a phase. My son is picky, and he did this for months... years. He finally eats meat and lettuce and other stuff.
If you know of certain foods she likes, then try dipping sauces (yogurt, etc) to jazz it up, and adding small amounts of other things that go well together. I'm sure at that age, to play with her food and make a mess would be all appealing. I always put wheat germ on my kids yogurt, and they still love it, and think it's a special treat. LOL.
Another thing is independence. I have found that my daughter would say no (around age 2), even though I could swear she'd normally just say yes or eat, whatever. I would put a serving or two of food in a bowl next to her and her brother and let them spoon it out themselves. Apparently it was okay to eat if she did it herself... but not for me.

BTW, have you smelled the pediasure? Some of them smell disgusting. And getting 2 cans a day in child that eats very little can be a challenge in itself. Go on kraftfoods.com and look for some fun kid food ideas, and embellish to your liking (with calories).
So, I sympathize. If she truly has a problem, then I hope you find a good solution. If it's just a phase, which it could be, then I hope she gets more adventurous so you don't have to worry so much. Sorry for the longggg reply.

K.-Have you had her tested for food intolerances? Such as gluten and dairy?

I also have a very small daughter. At 2 she was in the 5th percentile (not born a preemie). She is 6 now and only weighs about 30lbs. She is short for her age. I give her Carnation Instant Breakfast every morning. It has more vitamins and protein than most kids (or adults) would eat in a regular breakfast (better than pediasure & less expensive). I've been doing the Instant Breakfasts for over a year and that was how she put on weight. (yes 30lbs at 6 is putting on weight for her. She only likes the chocolate, but since she is getting all of the nutrition that she needs, I don't mind. My first ped dr was really worried about her weight (failure to thrive she labled her) and put her thru every test under the sun. Nothing. We changed ped dr., only because of insurance, and our new dr. told us that she has perfect height to weight ratio, she hardly ever gets sick, so we shouldn't worry about it. She told us to not have her gain too much weight because then she will be considered overweight for her height. I was finally able to breathe after our new ped dr told us that! She was a horrible eater when she was 2, and it has only gotten better in the last year & a half (age 4-1/2-5) I'm only 5'1 so she will just have to deal with being short. Her sister who is 3 years younger is taking after Dad (6'2") and will be catching up with her in the next year or so (they already almost weigh the same). Not looking forward to that! I stressed so much when she was 2 about her weight, not eating etc... I would be in tears some days crying and begging her to eat. My best advice, is what everyone kept telling me, but I wouldn't listen. They will eat when they are hungry. It all works out in the end.

Good Luck!

My son was in the 50-55% until 12 months old. He quick gaining weight and didn't gain any for 8 months. Our doctor told us to put him on Pediasure since he dropped down to 5%. Within 3 months he had finally gained 1 1/2 lbs. He is now 29 months old and finally gained another 1 1/2 lbs. He is now about 10% I believe. He is also very picky and won't eat unless he wants to and what he wants. I definitely think the Pediasure has helped. We recently took him off because we found out that he will eat more when he didn't have it.

He was also tested for celiac disease and cystic fibrosis, both were negative.

Unfortunately our doctors told us the same thing with him. He is small but most people don't realize how small he is except when he's around other kids. The doctors just told us that he will be small. I'm not completely convinced so I keep a close watch on his weight.

Thanks for posting this K.. I have a 19 month old son that sounds similar to your daughter (except not born premature). The responses are great and very reassuring. Thanks, S.

My daughters are 11 7 and 7 . My kids have always been at the low end of the weight/height scale. My 11 yr old is maybe 60lbs, and my 7yr olds are 45lbs.

My niece who is also 11 is the same size as my 11yr old, she also never gained alot of weight. They had her tested for the intolerances, which came back negative.

I say get her tested for the intolerances and see what the results are.

WIth childhood obesity the way it is, it's a shame that doctors worry parents over a small child. Someone has to be on the low end of the curve or there wouldn't be anyone on the high end. My daughter was always at the top of the chart and my son is not even on it at the moment. (almost 20 lbs at 19 months old). They are just built differently. I'm guessing that you and your husband are not large people either. Is/was she breastfed? that makes a difference too. THe chart that your doctor uses is from the 70's when almost all babies were FF so it's completely inaccurate for a BF baby. Don't worry about her unless she is inactive, lethargic, bad coloring etc.

K., I get concerned when a child is not gaining weight or low on the charts...you can make your own homemade "pedisure" since they are just a bunch of sugar, and no good fats for her body... make smoothies. Here is a simple recipe:

8oz of milk (your choice of milk)
2 tsp of Nutribiotic Rice Protein powder any flavor, no sugar added (1tsp for every 4oz) purchased at www.vitacost.com for $13
1 tsp of flax oil (or 1tsp of nut butter, this is good fat)
1/2c frozen fruit
Childlife Liquid Multi vitamin-a good clean multi w/o artificial sugars or additives
Nordic Naturals Children's DHA-essential for brain growth
(both at www.vitacost.com)

Blend and enjoy. For seedy type fruits you may have to strain, that is what I do for my 2yr old when she is not having a good eating day.

Also I wrote an article about a mom whose son was not growing, she kept going until she got answers and she did: http://www.examiner.com/x-7158-Chicago-Family-Health-Exam...

It is another avenue to explore b/c many docs overlook celiac disease as a possibility in kids when they are not gaining weight, many just "chuck" it off as the kid is "picky"...send me a msg it you'd like more info, The University of Chicago is doing their free annual blood screening for Celiac Disease, the info is in the article...see if you can get in, don't hesitate, it is free and you have nothing to lose. Celiac disease is a food intolerance to gluten, it does sound like food intolerances/food allergies.

www.drrapp.com is a pediatric allergist, well before our time, but way ahead of her time!

Good Luck

J. W. MPH
Maternal and Child Health Educator
Chicago Examiner Family Health Expert

dear K.,

my grand-daughter was always underweight...in fact she is 4 and is lucky if she weights 30lbs...she just made it on the charts...they were concerned and thought she had cystic fibrocysis...i don't know if i am spelling that right...so she went through the testing to find out...thank GOD that she was fine!!! she has never been a picky eater...it fact too healthy at one time..we would go out to eat and she would order brocolli only...this isn't normal for a kid...so she is still petite but as cute as a button...pedisure would be a good route to go...i think they did that with my grand-daughter but my daughter used the generic because it was cheaper...i can hook you up with my daughter if you would like...because she actually lived what you are going through now...take care!!!

sincerely,

grammie K.

Hi K.
My daughter was only in the 10 percentile untill she was 3 years old, she still had some clothes that were 24 months size. She had a huge growth spurt right after turning 3 and now is 50 percentile. Try letting her help you pick out foods, prepare them together, shop for them together. i always took my daughter to the farmers market she really liked that and would try everything we brought home. I was not worried about my daughter at all because i knew what she was eating and it was all healthy, it does not sound like yours is eating. try to make it fun with food coloring, whipcream, chocolate chips for smiley faces (pancakes, french toast etc). i would let her help you in anyway possible when it comes to food, constantly offer her new things to try that you are eating. it's a hard one. do you give her a good vitamin? i also give my daughter nordic naturals fish oil they are little chewable tablets. very healthy for her growth & brain.
good luck
V.

there was a post like this a few months ago...the child ended up having diagnosed food allergies...have you looked into that ? Not all food allergies end up with rashes an diarrhea some manifest in failure to thrive, behavioral issues, dark circles under eyes, etc. I would look into those before feeding your kid a bunch of junk to gain weight. Good luck!!!

My daughter is in the exact same situation. She turned 2 on the 12th & weights 21lbs. Shes seen a nutritionist & a few other doctors. It all just comes down to the fact that she might be petite. I was worried for awhile, but since the doctors aren't concerned, I finally stopped worrying about it. Who knows, maybe they'll end up being the tallest in their class down the road :)

My son was 16 lbs. at 1 year, 21 lbs. at 2 years and I can't remember his wt. at 3 years. He went below the charts at 3 mos. for both height and weight and didn't show up on the charts again until he was 13 years old. His height was leveling off at age 4 - so we were sent to a pediatric endocrinologist at Children's Memorial. They took much data from us for their team to study (ht and wt of parents and grandparents and when his parents hit puberty) plus a bone x-ray of his wrist.
His bone age showed a 6 month delay in relation to his chronological age so they were not concerned he was low on growth hormone.
He did catch up - but he is now 21 years old, 5'9" - a little taller than mom or dad and he weighs 120 lbs.
If they aren't sending you to an endocrinologist - then I wouldn't worry - she'll eat what she needs to survive and she will eventually gain weight.
M. in EGV

I realize this post is almost 2 years old and perhaps you've found the answer by now. However, perhaps you should have her screened for celiac disease. If you haven't already done so, I would suggest it to her pediatrician. I say this because my daughter, too, would go for two years and only gain a pound. Pediasure is a good choice, as it's gluten free. To make a long story short, at 17 years of age, she became very ill, (very low b12 and pernicious anemia), and it was determined, through testing, that she had celiac disease. I had to go to a second doctor to get this diagnosis however. I do hope this information is helpful to you or anyone else who is in this quandry. Good luck to you all.