My 16 Month Old Daughter Is Not Even Close to Being Ready to Quit Breastfeeding!

Congrats on making it as far as you have. If you can handle the pain then keep breastfeeding. It's still good for her and she likes it and you like it. I'm all for self weaning but have no experience on when they self wean when they use the breast as a tool for comfort or out of habit. My youngest is 2 years and 3 months and she asks me for it, taps them or lifts my shirt. She feeds am, nap, pm and sometimes 1-2 times in addition. I try not to discuss the feedings with people as there are different opinions out there but if you can continue doing it then do it. There are some kids who are 4-5 years old still doing it and I'm assuming most kids stop by the time they're 2-3 years old.

J.,
I am writing to give you support and encouragement about nursing your 16 month old.

My first weaned at 16 months, on her own.
My second is 18 months and still nurses quite a bit.

I know MANY mothers who nurse and their babies are anywhere from newborn to 2 1/2 years old. The American Association of Pediatrics says nursing for 2 years is good for your baby.

If you are healthy without your medications and still feel OK, and if you enjoy nursing, keep nursing! I still love nursing my 18 month old, and like you, I breast feed her several times a day and don't pump anymore.

Your daughter is still a baby, only 16 months! Nurse her until you (or she) are ready to quit, and know that many other women here and all around the world nurse for an extended period of time. Maybe your baby wants to nurse so bad in the morning because she needs to connect with you? I know my daughter uses is to connect with me sometimes.

Anyway, good luck! YOu are doing the right thing as long as it is right for you and your family!!!!!

I just quit nursing my 18 month old about a week ago.

For the last couple months he has been waking up 3 to 6 times a night (this was in addition to 3 or 4 daytime nursing sessions) to nurse and it was just getting too much for me. So, I cut him back to about 4 times TOTAL within a given 24 hour period. Then I cut out the daytime feeding and would just feed morning and night. Then I cut out the morning feeding. So, for the last month he would only nurse at night and about 1 or 2 times during the night. Then I started letting him sleep with a cup of water and would just give him that when he woke at night. He still tries to lift my shirt when we crawl into bed but has quit making such a big deal about it.....

It was very hard to decide to quit but I really want to get pregnant again and I wasn't really producing hardly any milk..... So, I just decided it was time.

If you are still comfortable doing it KEEP GOING> I got lots of unfriendly comments but still continued to do it. You can't let others decide this for you. You know what is best for your child.

I only nursed for 6 months, but would have loved to continue it longer. It sounds like she is doing it more for the comfort and habit, since she is eating a normal diet. If that is the case, I doubt she will stop on her own. I think it is totally up to you when to stop, but I don't think she is being harmed in any way. I do think when the time comes that you want to stop...it will be hard for her. No different from a child attached to a binkie or a bottle.

J., congrats for nursing this long! What a wonderful gift you are giving your dd. As long as both you and your dd are comfortable, keep it up! It is so good for both of you. As for the first nursing in the morning, if she is sleeping in her crib all night long, she is wanting to reconnect with you and have that special time with you. I would be very careful about cutting that feeding out, you may end up with her waking at night again to have that close, bonding time with you! You sound like you enjoy bfing your dd and, obviously, she loves it, so why even think of quitting until you are both ready. I bfed all 3 of my kids - the first one til 9 mos, 2nd til 12 mos, and 3rd til 21 mos. It was a wonderful experience.
Good luck and keep up the good work!
S.

Hi J.,

I nursed my first-born for 14 months and it was tough to wean her at that point. But I nursed my 2nd born for 18 months and it was WAY harder to wean her. She, too, liked nursing first thing in the morning and lost her mind until I sat down with her.

I'm so sorry if this all sounds negative but I want to let you know it is hard (or was for me anyway) but that it's okay to wean your child.

I tried giving her chocolate chips at those times when she really wanted to nurse to help her forget about it but it didn't really work. There was nothing she wanted more than my milk.

I was just so beyond ready to be done that I forced the issue and I put up with a lot of screaming. It was very difficult and she still remembers nursing at age two and a half. (Although she doesn't want to do it anymore.) There was a lot of guilt involved and I really needed my husband's support because I often wanted to just give in.

I can't remember how long it took but it seems like it was a couple weeks of denying her at different times throughout the day but then it went quickly once I started denying her entirely. (I feel terrible writing the word "deny"!) It took a toll on me emotionally. As mothers, our first instinct is to feed our babies! But once we were done I was SO glad I weaned her and she went back to normal. (Normal for a toddler.)

Good luck!

This is a tough for you. It sounds like the biggest issue is the negative affect this "giving in" to her demanding attitude, may have on your relationship with her in the future. I see it this way because I went through something almost the same with my oldest one. I found the older he got the more problematic our relationship was becoming because he truly did not believe I was the boss. Then suddenly they are teenagers and the issues amplify. The bottom line... if this is causing you any sort of negative stress change what you do and try something new. If you are concerned with the breastmilk intake, pump on the side and feed the bottle. Changing patterns is always difficult with kids and emotional for parents. Reducing stress in your life ALWAYS makes us better mothers.

Continue breastfeeding as long as you and your daughter both enjoy it. She will decide when she is no longer interested. I have 4 kids and breastfeed them all as long as they wanted. They all weaned themselves by 2. If she needs it even just for comfort it is still a natural thing to do. Enjoy your time with her while she is young.

Hi J.
I can totally relate. My son was around 15 months old when I needed to wean him and I hated to do it because it was such a wonderful bonding time. However, he started getting up 3 to 4 times a night just to feed (comfort) so I knew I had to quit. I just reduced one feeding a day and it was probably harder on me then it was on him. I do believe it may get more difficult as time goes on because as you said..it is like a morning coffee for your daughter so it may just become a habit that is harder to break for her. Each situation is different and so if you LOVE feeding her I don't think it is harmful to her in anyway. No huge advice here but just wanted you to know you are not alone and you are a good Mommy! :) It is a difficult few days when your little one doesn't seem ready so I wish you the best of luck. One thing I remember is that when I weaned my little guy I would spend that "nursing" time cuddling him and reading books. If he had a fit about feeding we would end our snuggle time and I would just get a sippy cup for him. Wasn't always easy.
Blessings,
L.