V.S.
Maybe start by working on your own. Are you always this brief?
What can we do to help my son with his social /communication skills?
Maybe start by working on your own. Are you always this brief?
huh.
apple didn't fall far from the tree, eh?
khairete
S.
You haven't told us much here. Is there anything going on with something like a leaning disability, Asperger's, etc.?
Otherwise I would say he learns by doing. He has to join something. Anything. It can be a school club or sport (if he's not athletic, he can be the equipment manager or timer or statistician), or he can volunteer for something - the local library, a town office, helping senior citizens at the nursing home by visiting (just let them tell their stories - talk less, listen more) or doing crossword puzzles with them, volunteering at a food pantry or animal shelter, collecting signatures for a political candidate, and on and on.
He can work with adults or other kids, whatever is easier. Meantime, he will be building up something to put on his "activity resume", the list of activities and jobs that kids need to submit for college. Starting sooner is always better.
Perhaps you could enlist the help of the school counselor who might give you some suggestions on how to help him improve his communication skills. You could see if there is a toastmaster's organization (or something similar) in your town with a teen branch. You develop skills when you practice those skills. Pick out one skill each week and practice it at home until he is comfortable with it. (answering the phone, phoning a friend, ordering from a menu, making eye contact with others, etc) If you son has other issues, discuss it with a professional who may provide other advice. Good luck!
More information might be necessary.
L.,
This is a broad topic, and I assume that you refer to the typical teenager's behavior (or behaviour) with no disabilities or so.
Social skills? Teach him how to handle anger or impatience constructively,
encourage him to set goals for himself in different aspects of his life (studies, sports, driving, finances, etc); teach him conflict resolution so he is able to solve problems in a positive way; show a clear example about the caring and respect for others' feelings, etc. How do you accomplish all these?
Listen to him and do not interrupt, do not judge him when he is "opening" and confiding in you, pay attention to what he is talking and then give your advice, suggestion or opinion.
Whenever you do something as a family, include him (a trip, a birthday party, a welcoming party for a loved one, a game, etc) in the planning of the event (money, time, etc)so he has a chance to participate and be considered as an important part of his family.
Teenagers are difficult, they are going through a hard phase full of hormones changes, identity issues, goals confusion, etc and they feel uncomfortable, sad and irritable, so it is important that you show a caring attitude, and a genuine concern for his problems even if you do not see they are a huge problem: for him these are his problems. If you do this, you are teaching him the capacity for learning to care for other people, and helping to identify their own, and others' feelings.
Your teen is being more independent but still he needs boundaries, so keep them and set the house' rules, which he is expected to follow, otherwise he will be taken away some privileges. He needs to have this very clear and know that you are consistent and won't give in. As other moms suggested here, encourage him to be involved in sports, activities, youth organizations,reading club, etc where he can "practice" all these teachings, and learn from experience outside his home.
Something I learned with my teenager is that teenager's tantrums should not be taken personally and get mad, and yell back, etc You should take emotions out of your sight, breath and just observe, and then when the storm has passed, then you talk and listen, and then you decide what is the best thing to do.
Help him to figure out solutions for his problems instead of judging or criticize at the moment, this will give him the feeling of control, which is exactly he is looking for (Instead of "What’s wrong with you?”, say something like "do you have any ideas for how you might solve......?")
The key is how YOU will choose to behave towards his tantrums or behaviors, that means do not engage when he is being mad or disrespectful, just wait and then you do your job.
Communication is followed by listening, that is exactly the way your teen will communicate with you and others.
Whenever your teen is behaving as expected and doing what he is supposed to be doing, PRAISE him! but do not over do it, teens dislike that a lot, but they want to be recognized, appreciated and validated, of course all of us want that, but teenagers need that deeply.
I am sorry this was long but I tried to cover the most without too much detail given.
Enjoy your teenager they are full of nice surprises as well, believe me!
(sorry any grammar mistake, I am writing fast and English is my 2nd language)
Could you be more specific? What kinds of things does he need to work on?
Is he involved with any organizations or sports? Is he in Boy Scouts or Youth Group? The more opportunities he has to interact with his peers, the better his skills will be.
If you're worried that this alone won't be enough, talk to your pediatrician. He/she can refer you to a behavioral psychologist who can evaluate him and give you suggestions.
Hello. As a young teenager, I imagine that your son is probably facing a challenging part of his social and emotional growth. This can be an exceptionally awkward age, and teens this age might be very shy. I strongly suggest that you bring your son to a therapist or counselor. I suspect that he might be able to be more upfront about what he is feeling or experiencing socially with a therapist, and the therapist should be able to help him with self-esteem and confidence issues.
Good luck!
The first part of being social means going out and meeting people.
Have join Boyscouts or take taekwondo.
Is he interested in any clubs at school?
Is he involved at church or at your local YMCA?
Maybe he'd like to take up archery.
Hi L.,
This is a good question, but we need a little more information. Does he have a social/communication disorder, like autism / Asperger's syndrome? Or is he a neurotypical kid who's just going through an awkward phase? Or, is it something in between, where you suspect he may have something like Asperger's, but he's never been diagnosed?
If he's an Aspie, then he needs something specialized, provided by someone with professional training in this area. And, it may sound contradictory, but he probably also needs a good dose of acceptance. Not everyone is the life of the party, and that's fine. And, he needs a community of like-minded kids, so they can be brilliant geeks together.
If it's an awkward phase, then -- that's really, really typical at his age. 14 is a tough year. Chances are excellent he'll grow out of it, but look for counseling options if he seems really unhappy.
And, if it's something in between, then pursue a diagnosis, just in case!