My 10 Yr Old and ROLLERCOSTER Emotions!

Let me see:
-whiny or mad (check)
-back talk (check)
-mood swings (check)
Yeap, congratulations, you just got a pre-teen!!
I have 2 year old going through her terribles 2 and a 12 year old going through pre-teens. Really, what I was thinking?!
Some things that have "kind" of working for us are:
-Be clear of your explectations
-Pick your battles
--Repeat to your self this will go away too.
-Listen to your teen (even if you don't agree with him, it helps a lot when they know you listen)
-Follow through your punishments but never punish on the heat of a fight.
-Use good cop - bad cop with dad
-Use a lot of sense of humor (we are very sarcastic in our family and sometimes a sour joke is better than screaming)
-Repeat to your self this will go away too. Again.
-Allow your kids to get in fights, but not hitting and not offensive talk.
-Recognize the good things he does.
-Keep telling him you love him
--Repeat to your self this will go away too. Did I say that before? Maybe this time it will work, lol.
-Keep posting and checking in mamapedia,maybe one day someone will find the 3 day solution to have a great, easy, drama free relationship with your teen. Hey, I see there is out there a book about 3 day for potty training, is all right to day dream!

My son's currently 11 yrs. He's had a few moody episodes, but not many. When he can't get himself out of it I tell him he's not 13 for 2 more years and I'm not putting up with it any earlier than I have to. Then I tell him he's got 10 min to feel sorry for himself and sulk in his room. After that he'd better be over it. The one time he pushed back I told him "I'm older, I'm crankier, and I can out mood you any day of the week. You do NOT want to go there.". We have not had any problems since. That gives me 2 years to figure out what I'm going to do when he IS 13.

I got nothing to offer except I am there with a daughter! All I can do is buckle in for the ride! And I try to remind myself that as bad as it is to live with it felt even worse to go through it!

sounds to me like he wants to act like a child but have the same advantages handed to him as if he were an older child or an adult.think outside the box, if he whines or pouts and says, i want to do what so and so is doing, then let him, but dont cut him any slack when he refuses to do everything that is asked of him. lets say, he wants to go to the movies with his older siblings, but doesnt want to pay for his own way in, like his older siblings.. too bad. you want to go with them, you have to pay your own way
just like they do. no exceptions, no excuses.the next time he starts acting jealous of his sister, call him by his sisters name for the next 24 hours, even in front of his friends, the first time that you call him "julie" in front of his buddies, will be priceless, and he will think twice before being ugly to her again.because, it may be easy to handle now, when he is a foot shorter, and twenty pounds lighter then her, but in five years, he will be a foot taller and fifty pounds heavier then his sister
K. h..

Preteens can be like toddlers but it is harder to pick them up and soothe them and they don't usually nap to give you a break. I've found that staying calm myself is huge. I ask my son to leave or we just don't move on in whatever we are doing until he can behave nicely and calm down. Kirk Martin's calming techniques have been helping us a lot. You can sign up for his free newsletters. Just remembering to stay calm is great and never give in to the bad behavior. I've gotten better at letting him miss plans with friends without feeling bad about that myself.

Other than that, I do back to basics just like you would with a little kid. I make sure he is eating real food, exercising, sleeping enough (or at least not staying up with electronics). After a few days of the basics, he is usually a lot better and even apologizes for being so cranky. And sometimes, he even tells me what's been bugging him. He has a lot more peer issues than I ever did. I must have been oblivious to the preteen scene.

But the up and down emotions of preteens and teens seem to be natural. I think it is nature's way of making it possible for parents to let their kids grow up and leave home. I could never imagine how I could let go when they were adorable and little. But after the teen years, I was ready. I'm happy when the kids come back but we all needed a break.

I think 10 is its own stage of terribles. We have four 10 year olds in the family, two boys and two girls...and all four of them have given my sisters and I struggles as they try so hard to go from being little kids to being cool teens. It's a tough place to be...I've written more about it here http://igotmompower.com/archives/56

Been there with both sons. How we got through it I don't know sometimes. Just remain consistent and the same and united with hubby. You will survive!